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Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: pbarra1
Date: March 30, 2013 10:36AM
He says ouch to most anything. Can't tolerate a swab in his mouth or nose at doctor. Can't swallow pills. Cant tolerate the cream that must be applied to his meatoplasty to prevent it from closing back up and smacks hand away. He can play high level soccer where he gets kicked from the other players though. He is the third and last child and I feel like he gets babied from the mother. Any starting points from the forum?
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: graylocks
Date: March 30, 2013 10:42AM
google touch sensitivities in children. it's not all that uncommon. i don't know enough about it to understand why soccer doesn't bother him but i do think it's certain kinds of touches, individual to each person, and not all touches. i think it unwise to assume his discomfort is the result of being 'babied.'



"Success isn't about how much money you make. It is about the difference you make in people's lives."--Michelle Obama
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Paul F.
Date: March 30, 2013 10:47AM
Not to change the subject, but what a meatoplasty?



Paul F.
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----
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Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.

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Eureka, CA
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: freeradical
Date: March 30, 2013 10:48AM
Quote
Paul F.
Not to change the subject, but what a meatoplasty?

I just googled that. It would be a TMI answer.
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: modelamac
Date: March 30, 2013 10:49AM
I'm betting it is a learned response. It's absence on the soccer field points to this.



Gonna ask my Mother if that offer to slap
me into next year is still on the table.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/30/2013 10:50AM by modelamac.
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Thrift Store Scott
Date: March 30, 2013 11:09AM
I'm not a parent, so this is based on how I'd have reacted back when I was 11.

I'm guessing he just doesn't like other people "poking at him" in a personal way (and you can't get much more personal than applying meatoplasty cream), and at 11 he's getting to the age where he feels the need to assert his independence and do what he can to keep other people quite literally out of his face and out of his pants.

Maybe you could start by allowing him to take over responsibility for cream application after explaining to him in clear and unambiguous terms what will happen if the schedule isn't adhered to properly and see if that helps with his overall sensitivity issues.
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Thrift Store Scott
Date: March 30, 2013 11:10AM
Quote
Paul F.
Not to change the subject, but what a meatoplasty?
If you don't already know, then trust me... you don't want to.
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: rgG
Date: March 30, 2013 11:24AM
OK, I had to Google meatoplasty.
Sorry your son is having to deal with that.





Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Black
Date: March 30, 2013 12:23PM
Google "sensory defensiveness" and/or "tactile defensiveness."
Not uncommon for lighter touches to be percieved as noxious while more forceful input is not. If the kid has a history of needing to have labels cut out of shirts and of getting naked because he doesn't like the feeling of cloting on his skin, the profile is complete.




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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Speedy
Date: March 30, 2013 01:11PM
Thrift Store Scott has good advice. In two years he will toughen up.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: graylocks
Date: March 30, 2013 01:41PM
Quote
Black
Google "sensory defensiveness" and/or "tactile defensiveness."
Not uncommon for lighter touches to be percieved as noxious while more forceful input is not. If the kid has a history of needing to have labels cut out of shirts and of getting naked because he doesn't like the feeling of cloting on his skin, the profile is complete.

boink smiley



"Success isn't about how much money you make. It is about the difference you make in people's lives."--Michelle Obama
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Paul F.
Date: March 30, 2013 02:46PM
I withdraw the question about meatoplasty based on the google results... (thank god I didn't click image results...)



Paul F.
-----
A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
----
Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.

--

--

--
Eureka, CA
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: March 30, 2013 04:09PM
Mine is / was the same . Ignoring the outbursts works. That was my mother's approach . "Oh. You're bleeding. You know where the first aid kit is."
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: NewtonMP2100
Date: March 30, 2013 04:38PM
we all have our burdens to bear.....



_____________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Black
Date: March 30, 2013 05:35PM
This isn't bad...
[pediatricot.blogspot.com]




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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: tenders
Date: March 30, 2013 06:26PM
Having just learned the clever term "meatspace," I too embarked on the meatoplasty Google search with the most cheerful of hopes, only to have them dashed.

At 11, when my kids deal with me they know they either have something done for them or can complain as they do it themselves, but not both. My wife is more tolerant. I don't know if one is better than the other, but the difference certainly shows. (Girls, 12 and 9).
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: March 30, 2013 06:32PM
Had a distant cousin that exhibited this. After being checked out by a doctor to make sure there was not a medical issue. His parent put him in athletic endeavors instead of letting him sit on the couch playing video games. 3 years later he is enjoying athletics and no longer expresses pain at soft contact.



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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: CJsNvrUrly
Date: March 30, 2013 06:44PM
I can't get past wondering who the heck decided on the term MEAToplasty. Makes me LOL...as a woman, I mean...having had to bear so many unkind terms and procedures. Sorry! <but still snickering>




bunny smileyCentral VA
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: bfd
Date: March 30, 2013 08:40PM
My kid is a wuss? Maybe that kind of thinking is the problem. He's got a problem in the most PRIVATE of places. Give him a break.
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Grateful11
Date: March 30, 2013 10:09PM
We have a 23 yo with the lowest pain tolerance I've ever seen. If he bumps his hand on a doorway you would
think his hand just fell off.



Grateful11
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: vision63
Date: March 30, 2013 11:37PM
Hey, sometimes its difficult to know what your actual tolerances for pain. I used to think I had a low threshold, but it turned out that I have an extremely high threshold. I can take a lot of pain. Psychologically, because of a couple of early experiences I "thought" certain things would hurt more than they actually do. So hopefully, your little guy will find his proper balance.
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: N-OS X-tasy!
Date: March 31, 2013 05:41AM
Quote
Paul F.
Not to change the subject, but what a meatoplasty?

Pretty damn much what it sounds like.



It is what it is.
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: March 31, 2013 08:32AM
Barring medical issues, pain sensitivity is a matter of training. The mind controls pain responses and how the human reacts to pain.

Vocal expressions of pain are usually attention getting mechanisms in a child. A child that will express loud dismay at every possible bump and pinch will often also not even peep if he or she is busy doing something engaging. My eldest son normally gripes about every little thing "Ow !" "Ow !" and so forth. The other day I looked at him and he was bleeding from a large scratch on his arm.. possibly from his cat. He was surprised to find that he was injured.
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: pbarra1
Date: March 31, 2013 11:40AM
1) I do not apply the cream. He does that himself

2) I am sympathetic to his current "situation" but am concerned about the future

3) This behavior has been going on for a while

4) Thanks to the forum for some suggestions to follow up on
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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Black
Date: March 31, 2013 12:21PM
Quote
pbarra1

3) This behavior has been going on for a while

He hasn't always been that way? That's a little different.




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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: RAMd®d
Date: March 31, 2013 04:01PM
He hasn't always been that way? That's a little different.

Yes.


I'm betting it is a learned response. It's absence on the soccer field points to this.

This was my first reaction.

My buddy's third child was "babied" far longer than most would expect, and even the two older siblings noticed that early on. ANY tiny bump, fall, or scratch would send the kind running to mom who responded with much "there, there" coddling.

And mom would carry the child around the house and everywhere, until the kid was really physically too big for that.

Again, the two older kids really resented that and told mom, as did others. She eventually got the message, and Kid 3 did Ok.

But this scenario seems less likely since it's somewhat recent, comparatively speaking. Still possible, though maybe less probably.




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Re: Why can't my 11 year old son not bear any discomfort?
Posted by: Carm
Date: April 01, 2013 02:47PM
Meatoplasty. Let him apply the cream himself. What Scott and modalmac said
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