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Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Dennis S
Date: May 13, 2014 03:13PM
About 6 years ago he was in college on the Dean's List with a 4.0 and doing great. A real sensible, industrious, hard-working guy. He wanted to learn guitar, so I fixed him up with a black, vintage Wilshire since it was my cheapest guitar. I figured it was worth a few hundred bucks, but he was my nephew and he seemed very responsible.

Well, Saturday I asked his mother to text him and see if he could get it back to me sometime because I needed to sell it. By then, I knew that people were asking over $2,000 for them, although I don't know how many were actually selling at that price.

I had a gut feeling what was coming next. He said he hadn't had it since he moved from college in Arkansas to New Orleans. That was about 3 years ago. He acted like it was no big deal and why would I loan out a guitar worth that much. I've loaned out my Martin, 1974-P-Bass, and Rickenbacker 1966 #360 out several times. Who borrows a guitar and doesn't bring it back?

The little @#$%&. I'm assuming he packed up his apartment to move and just left it there. I've never been so pissed off in my life.

He passed his CPA exam his first try and is making over $80,000 which is a lot for a 28-year-old in Arkansas, but is too irresponsible to return something as substantial as a guitar?

So, I've been wondering whether to send my sister the link to those guitars on ebay because he texted "@#$%&" when she told him how much it was worth. She's caught in the middle so I don't want to antagonize her and I don't have his address or phone number and don't want them. She did mention something about his "inheritance" but I'm not sure what she meant exactly.

If the link doesn't work, search ebay for "Epiphone Wilshire" and screen it for the higher priced ones over $1,000.

[www.ebay.com]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/13/2014 03:14PM by Dennis S.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: rgG
Date: May 13, 2014 03:15PM
Relatives. You get to pick your friends, but not your relatives.





Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Black
Date: May 13, 2014 03:18PM
When you "loan" smething to a friend or relative, you need to make peace with never seeing it again. Not sure what the point of belaboring this would be.




New forum user map 8/2015: [www.zeemaps.com]
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: clay
Date: May 13, 2014 03:19PM
Quote
Black
When you "loan" smething to a friend or relative, you need to make peace with never seeing it again. Not sure what the point of belaboring this would be.

I agree. It sucks for you, though.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: jdc
Date: May 13, 2014 03:20PM
$200 a month for the next 10 months -- although Im assuming the money isnt really the issue...



----


Edited 999 time(s). Last edit at 12:08PM by jdc.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Dennis S
Date: May 13, 2014 03:23PM
The money IS an issue and the little @#$%&'s character IS an issue. He seemed so much on the ball and industrious and all that he was the last person I thought would do this. He's in finance now and this attitude is going to get him in big trouble before long.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: rz
Date: May 13, 2014 03:27PM
I'd tell your sister that you'd like to borrow $1,000 from her son. He seems to be doing so well. And you're family, so he should know you're good for it, right?
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: hal
Date: May 13, 2014 03:33PM
Quote
clay
Quote
Black
When you "loan" smething to a friend or relative, you need to make peace with never seeing it again. Not sure what the point of belaboring this would be.

I agree. It sucks for you, though.

especially a male in college... even if he had kept it all this time, there is NO WAY it would be in pristine condition. In fact, I would expect to find it closer to 'totally destroyed' than pristine. Your ebay search is not a fair representation of the current value - this one is better: [www.ebay.com] (I removed the $1000 min and selected 'sold' listings)

I know that this REALLY, REALLY sucks, but... this is hardly and unforeseeable conclusion to the story. I'd suggest pleasantly that it would be nice if he'd take some of those earnings and replace it as best he can. Maybe even suggest that doing so would be beyond the call of duty, but would be a nice, grown up thing to do. Maybe it could all end pleasantly.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: mjgkramer
Date: May 13, 2014 03:34PM
Happens with my son all the time with my tools. Main difference is that he's 46 years old.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: anonymouse1
Date: May 13, 2014 03:36PM
How did you set it up went you "lent" it to him? How clear were you that you expected it back?

Did you know it was worth $2,000 then? If you didn't know that, would you have handled the whole thing differently if you had? If your nephew had known, might he have handled it differently? For all he knew, you didn't care about the guitar.

Finally, why did you let it slide for a few years? Were you checking in on how he was doing, etc.?

Not to blame the victim here, but it looks like you have some responsibility here.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: N-OS X-tasy!
Date: May 13, 2014 03:41PM
Neither a borrower nor a lender be.



It is what it is.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Colormonger
Date: May 13, 2014 03:42PM
Quote
anonymouse1
How did you set it up went you "lent" it to him? How clear were you that you expected it back?

Did you know it was worth $2,000 then? If you didn't know that, would you have handled the whole thing differently if you had? If your nephew had known, might he have handled it differently? For all he knew, you didn't care about the guitar.

Finally, why did you let it slide for a few years? Were you checking in on how he was doing, etc.?

Not to blame the victim here, but it looks like you have some responsibility here.

"anonymouse" is right on target here. If you didn't make it clear that this was a true loan and you expected to get it back in reasonable condition, I don't think you have much cause to complain.

That said, I understand your disappointment in how things worked out. Relatives can be a PITA...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/13/2014 03:43PM by Colormonger.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: DRR
Date: May 13, 2014 03:54PM
Quote

If you didn't make it clear that this was a true loan and you expected to get it back in reasonable condition, I don't think you have much cause to complain.

Are you being serious? I think the opposite is true – unless explicitly stated, "here's a GIFT," I assume it's a "give it back to me whenever" open-ended loan, and therefore, needs to be returned to its owner. I don't assume that any time something changes hands it's mine forever, unless someone says to me "I want you to have this."

If I were you, I would ask your sister how she would handle it and what you should do. She's probably more distressed than you are honestly, because even though you might be out a couple thousand dollars, she has to live with the fact that she raised a d**chebag.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: DeusxMac
Date: May 13, 2014 03:59PM
Quote
Dennis S
The money IS an issue and the little @#$%&'s character IS an issue. He seemed so much on the ball and industrious and all that he was the last person I thought would do this.

Looks like he was taking good care of HIS business.

Quote
Dennis S
He's in finance now and this attitude is going to get him in big trouble before long.

Are we talking about the Finance industry in the U.S.??? Trouble only if you get caught, and a lot of them don't.

"The Manhattan jury returned its verdict against 79-year-old Sam Wyly and the estate of his brother, Charles, whom the Securities and Exchange Commission had accused of earning more than $500 million illegally by using offshore accounts to trade securities."

[online.wsj.com]
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: RAMd®d
Date: May 13, 2014 04:05PM
Let it go.

Easier said than done for most of us, but it's all said and done.

You'll never see it again.

There isn't much point in belaboring it. but... I, being the petty type, would at least address his "it was no big deal and why would you loan out a guitar worth that much" attitude. That's code for "you should have known better, and I'm not giving you a dime. After all, it was a loan, how was I to know you wanted it back".

But leave Sis out of it. I'll just assume it's not her fault he feels the way he does.


but it looks like you have some responsibility here.

Yes. Let this be a lesson-- trust no one. Starting with in-laws.


I'd tell your sister that you'd like to borrow $1,000 from her son. He seems to be doing so well. And you're family, so he should know you're good for it, right?

LOL, that's great!

But since he's in finance and doing well, he'd probably want a contract to drawn up. Who'd know better not to trust a close relative just because outwardly they seem like a nice guy.

I don't see this getting anything near the resolution you probably want, but it would be nice if he, at the very least, offered a sincere apology.

And I don't see you getting that, either.




When a good man is hurt,
all who would be called good
must suffer with him.

You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

There is no safety for honest men except
by believing all possible evil of evil men.

We don’t do focus groups. They just ensure that you don’t offend anyone, and produce bland inoffensive products. —Sir Jonathan Ive

Perfection is the enemy of progress. -Winston Churchill

-An armed society is a polite society.
And hope is a lousy defense.

You make me pull, I'll put you down.

Mister, that's a ten-gallon hat on a twenty-gallon head.

I *love* SIGs. It's Glocks I hate.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: RE:up
Date: May 13, 2014 04:08PM
Engage the services of one "Chili Palmer"?
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: JoeM
Date: May 13, 2014 04:11PM
I would think it's worth closer to around $300. or so but that is besides the point. The guy is a piece of !@#$%. I had a cousin that did the same to me, only he had my first electric guitar which was Japanese (still a nice guitar that I would have liked to loan to another beginner).

My brother had my copy of the 1965 Beatles 4x4 4-song 45 RPM with cardboard picture sleeve at his house. His friend stopped by and asked my brother if he'd like him to see what it was worth and my brother let him take it. His friend came back with $65. and no Beatles 4x4. I had no idea these guys were doing this and could never understand where the heck they both got off pricing, much less, selling my record. The guy offered me the $65. and said he misunderstood my brother. I never took the money but gave them both a rash of !@#$%.

I save the best for last. I started a band in the early 70's that included a drummer from Georgia. I lent him over 50 LPs from my record collection so he could get an idea of the kind of music we were looking to do. We rehearsed for a few weeks and things were going real good until one night I get a call from Georgia.

The guy hated NYC so he decided to go back to his home in Georgia. I remember yelling "but what about all my albums that you have?" He said he was sorry and maybe if he ever saw me again he could return them facepalm

My point is you're probably better off writing it off in your mind and filing away the fact that the creep is a real "Richard".



JoeM
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: RAMd®d
Date: May 13, 2014 04:16PM
If you didn't make it clear that this was a true loan

I wasn't there, Dennis, so I won't many any assumptions, other than I'm pretty much guessing that if you say you lent him something, I'll assume you made it clear that it was a loan.

Now, even though you say you lent it to him, I'll question you judgement and memory by positing that if you were unclear and nebulous by saying something vague like "I'll loan you a guitar" then shame on you for not being clear.

My position is if you didn't say "Here, you can have this guitar" then anybody should have known that it was to be returned, and that it was their obligation to do so, regardless of whether or not you monitored the situation. The "you should have known better than to trust me" crap attitude as an adult is wholly unacceptable. But there's no point in going down that road.

Me, I'd plant an advisory sign and move on.




When a good man is hurt,
all who would be called good
must suffer with him.

You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

There is no safety for honest men except
by believing all possible evil of evil men.

We don’t do focus groups. They just ensure that you don’t offend anyone, and produce bland inoffensive products. —Sir Jonathan Ive

Perfection is the enemy of progress. -Winston Churchill

-An armed society is a polite society.
And hope is a lousy defense.

You make me pull, I'll put you down.

Mister, that's a ten-gallon hat on a twenty-gallon head.

I *love* SIGs. It's Glocks I hate.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Speedy
Date: May 13, 2014 04:42PM
You now know what a deadbeat he is. Treat him as such.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: May 13, 2014 04:45PM
He's 28, why even involve his mother? He's an adult now, not a kid. It sounds like this is between the two of you as adults, no intervention by mommy needed.

There are some questions around how this all started. How clear you were that it was a loan? How clear you were on the value of the guitar, both in monetary terms and in terms of your own personal attachment?

It's pretty doubtful that as a young guy, a neophyte, just getting his feet wet, he put anywhere near the value on the guitar that you would have; particularly one seen through his eyes as something someone would loan out to a beginner to hammer away on. Unless, that is, you were pretty explicit when loaning it to him. Even with that, I can easily see somebody who was that young at the time starting to lose grasp of the guitar as being overly valuable if (IF) it was seldom asked about over the course of six years.

I'd also ask one last question, would you be as hopping mad now if the guitar hadn't gained so much value (or even lost value) over the intervening years?

All that said, I'd agree with what others have said, it's gone. Pursuing restitution isn't out of line, but I would weigh how far I'd want to go with it versus how much I value the familial relations that might be damaged if I were to make this a hill I was willing to die on.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Octave Doctor
Date: May 13, 2014 05:25PM
Those Wilshires are pretty fragile, it was probably toothpicks after the first kegger.

I don't loan guitars, amps, etc. to ANYBODY. I might fix up one they already have, but nobody touches mine.

Your nephew certainly seems to have the mentality to be a businessman.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: tenders
Date: May 13, 2014 05:39PM
Six years elapsed between the time he, a complete newbie, received the instrument, and the first time you asked about it?

I agree, no one should just "lose" an instrument no matter how many times they move, but gosh, six years does seem like a long time to me. In some states if you don't assert your ownership of real estate for seven years, and someone else has been "squatting" on it, you lose it. And that's physical real estate.

My interpretation of "$*#&#(" isn't "Screw Uncle Dennis, I don't care," but "gosh, I had no idea it was worth anything, why didn't he tell me so?" Why should the nephew have attached particular value to that specific item?

My daughters have an Ephiphone guitar, a loan/gift/vague transfer of possession from an aunt who had played it for a while and then passed it on. She definitely doesn't want it back. That particular guitar is virtually worthless.

I'm sorry but I would let this go without judging the nephew too harshly.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/13/2014 05:40PM by tenders.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Chakravartin
Date: May 13, 2014 06:35PM
Quote
tenders
My interpretation of "$*#&#(" isn't "Screw Uncle Dennis, I don't care," but "gosh, I had no idea it was worth anything, why didn't he tell me so?" Why should the nephew have attached particular value to that specific item?

...

I'm sorry but I would let this go without judging the nephew too harshly.

thumbs up

When I was a kid, a cousin "loaned" us her acoustic guitar.

20 years later, she asked for it back.

She got it back, but was not happy with it. A couple of decades of sitting in its case with humidity and temperature changes after being beat on by a couple of kids had pretty much destroyed it.

We apologized. She laughed. We're still friends.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: SDGuy
Date: May 13, 2014 06:43PM
I've learned long ago that Millennials, for the most part, are complete flakes - unless proven otherwise (and treat them accordingly)...
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: May 13, 2014 07:55PM
Heh .. My FIL used to threaten to tie the cat to tools when I borrowed them. He got them all back . Every time.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: mrbigstuff
Date: May 13, 2014 08:27PM
He's in finance now and this attitude is going to get him in big trouble before long.

Nah, he'll fit right in!
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: graylocks
Date: May 13, 2014 09:05PM
Quote
Blankity Blank
He's 28, why even involve his mother? He's an adult now, not a kid. It sounds like this is between the two of you as adults, no intervention by mommy needed.

yeah, no matter what else you choose to do leave sis out of this. he was an adult when you lent it to him and an adult now. this is between you and him; it has nothing to do with his mom.

i wouldn't lend a guitar without a clear understanding between myself and the receiving party as to what the expectations were unless it was a beater i never needed to see again. you don't state that this is the case. the first mistake was yours. and yeah, people disappoint a lot. take it from a mom.



"Success isn't about how much money you make. It is about the difference you make in people's lives."--Michelle Obama
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: DRR
Date: May 13, 2014 10:36PM
Based on the information given, the "kid" is at best an ignorant flake and at worst, maliciously arrogant and self centered.

Best case - he thought it was a gift, at some point, sold it, abandoned it, whatever. HOWEVER in this case, if it was a true misunderstanding like this, the conversation should go something like, "gosh uncle dennis, I didn't know it was worth anything. I sold it to a friend a few years ago" or "the neck developed a crack a few years ago so I just got rid of it. I didn't know it was worth fixing" (and here's the important part) accompanied by an apology and an offer to help work it out, whatever that means.

Worst case - the kid took property that didnt' belong to him and sold/abandoned it, and is now saying f*** it. Whatever.

In either case, he's still in the wrong. I would expect any decent family member to try to "work it out" with another family member. Maybe he gives you $1000 and you have to eat some value due to the misunderstanding. I don't know. My point is he should try, and if he does, you should be willing to listen.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Buzz
Date: May 13, 2014 10:52PM
Write the kid a heartfelt letter explaining the lurid details of your disappointment (and every little reason for it), and copy everyone in your/his family and social media community. It may not get you your guitar, or money back, but at least you'll feel better... up till then all that's happened is about about how your db nephew feels regarding the "guitar loan" situation. Even the playing field of feelings.
==



Sometimes it is what it is...
and then there's times when it's really better.



==
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Chakravartin
Date: May 13, 2014 10:57PM
Quote
Buzz
Write the kid a heartfelt letter explaining the lurid details of your disappointment (and every little reason for it), and copy everyone in your/his family and social media community....

And when you're quite certain that you've alienated everyone that you know and half the Internet to boot, you can rest easy while you plan the rest of your life alone, friendless and with an entire family that refuses to speak to you because you're a narcissistic jerk.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: RAMd®d
Date: May 13, 2014 11:11PM
And when you're quite certain that you've alienated everyone that you know and half the Internet to boot, you can rest easy while you plan the rest of your life alone, friendless and with an entire family that refuses to speak to you because you're a narcissistic jerk.

Waaaay over the top, as is typical, but still fairly accurate.

You'd look petty and spiteful doing that.

I imagine Brother Buzz wasn't serious about this, in the first place.

But, as I'm not necessarily beyond other's interpretation of petty and spiteful, I would send a letter (not an email) telling him that I'm deeply disappointed in his attitude, and I've certainly learned from the experience.

And then I'd ask to borrow $1000.




When a good man is hurt,
all who would be called good
must suffer with him.

You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

There is no safety for honest men except
by believing all possible evil of evil men.

We don’t do focus groups. They just ensure that you don’t offend anyone, and produce bland inoffensive products. —Sir Jonathan Ive

Perfection is the enemy of progress. -Winston Churchill

-An armed society is a polite society.
And hope is a lousy defense.

You make me pull, I'll put you down.

Mister, that's a ten-gallon hat on a twenty-gallon head.

I *love* SIGs. It's Glocks I hate.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Chakravartin
Date: May 13, 2014 11:53PM
Quote
RAMd®d
And when you're quite certain that you've alienated everyone that you know and half the Internet to boot, you can rest easy while you plan the rest of your life alone, friendless and with an entire family that refuses to speak to you because you're a narcissistic jerk.

Waaaay over the top, as is typical, but still fairly accurate.

angel smiley
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: SteveO
Date: May 14, 2014 01:56AM
Family/relationships are more important than bruised egos, or even a bruised pocketbook. Sorry to hear about the guitar, but the bottom line here is not the bottom line. Would it make it different if the kid were destitute, living in squalid conditions, serving the poor? You paint his financial success as part of his clear guilt. There's something off there.

I've read of studies that indicate the ability to think clearly, and to reason right from wrong, isn't even fully developed until we're about 25 years old. Granted, this person is 28...but maybe he's a late bloomer?

Regardless of the reasons...you loaned him something when he was very young and immature. (And from what you tell us, it appears he may still be that, but we don't know your family dynamic so maybe there is more to the story...or not.) You didn't bother to ask for it back or even mention it for several years. I'm sorry and I don't mean this in a mean way, but you actually bear a lot of responsibility here.

Forgive him, forgive yourself for whatever perceived mistake you made (you actually were acting kindly and generously, and there's a lot to be said for that), chalk it up as a learning experience, and move forward. If it helps, think of it as good karma coming your way for your selfless loan, and for forgiving him. It's very possible he thought you never expected to see it again.

By now, he knows exactly how you feel about it. When you see him again, move past it. Ask him how he is, sincerely. Engage him like this never happened. This will make him think, and it will be another lesson to him in generosity. Maybe a day will come when he mans up and apologizes to you. Maybe not. But that doesn't mean you need to give this power over you. I know from reading your posts over the years, that you're a passionate person with a strong sense of right and wrong, and of fairness. Take the following from a fellow traveler... offered in the spirit of peace...

Let it go, Dennis. Release it. You will feel so much better leaving this behind.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: $tevie
Date: May 14, 2014 02:13AM
My uncle had to read To The Lighthouse in college so my father lent him his copy. First edition, Hogarth Press. He never saw it again and when he finally asked my uncle about it, my uncle said the book had always belonged to him and that my father was confused. Although my father would grumble about it to us on occasion he didn't bring it up with my uncle again because as SteveO says family/relationships are more important.

I'm sorry because you say you need to sell it, not that you want to sell it, so I do hope you can figure out what to do now that the guitar isn't around to sell. Best wishes for it to work out for you.



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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Sam3
Date: May 14, 2014 08:44AM
Sorry, but I don't buy into Dennis having any responsibility in any of this.

The value doesn't matter, it could be a cheap $50.00 guitar. Dennis lent him the guitar, lending of an item implies that the item is not the borrower's but the lenders.

The nephew is fully responsible for the item, Dennis should not have to pester the nephew to get it back, it is the nephew's responsibility to occasionally ask Dennis "hey, can I still keep it for a bit?" or "do you want it back?"

Making nice with the nephew and ignoring the guitar issue will only reinforce in the nephew that keeping other's property is OK. There has to be some consequence to the nephew's action. I don't know what the consequence should be, maybe a discussion with him explaining the displeasure and wrongness of keeping other's property with no effort at restitution, followed by cold shoulders at family get-togethers if nothing changes, maybe something more serious, like a bill for the guitar, or something else.

I was taught at an early age and it was reinforced throughout my teen years that things lent to me were to be treated like gold, they had to be taken care of and returned in the same or better condition that when I received it. If it broke, then I was responsible for replacing it. The failure of the nephew to learn this is not Dennis' fault or responsibility.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: DRR
Date: May 14, 2014 11:10AM
Ditto Sam3, especially this very good point:

Quote

Making nice with the nephew and ignoring the guitar issue will only reinforce in the nephew that keeping other's property is OK. There has to be some consequence to the nephew's action.

Even if it was a huge misunderstanding, an apology and an attempt to make-good is in order. Otherwise, Dennis is just asked to eat both the cost and the principle, and for what? To enable bad behaviour.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: bazookaman
Date: May 14, 2014 11:59AM
Punch him in the throat.




__________________________________
Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: wowzer
Date: May 14, 2014 02:15PM
Quote
Chakravartin
Quote
tenders
My interpretation of "$*#&#(" isn't "Screw Uncle Dennis, I don't care," but "gosh, I had no idea it was worth anything, why didn't he tell me so?" Why should the nephew have attached particular value to that specific item?

...

I'm sorry but I would let this go without judging the nephew too harshly.

thumbs up

When I was a kid, a cousin "loaned" us her acoustic guitar.

20 years later, she asked for it back.

She got it back, but was not happy with it. A couple of decades of sitting in its case with humidity and temperature changes after being beat on by a couple of kids had pretty much destroyed it.

We apologized. She laughed. We're still friends.

Ah, but do you know what she says about you on the winresource forum? :-)



All I ever really needed to know, I learned from watching Star Trek.
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: Paul F.
Date: May 14, 2014 04:21PM
I'd send him a bill.
Then take a deep breath, and forget all about it.
Maybe you see the money, maybe you never do... the point is made, and then you DROP IT - otherwise you start that whole family dynamic thing.

I learned with some dear to me, but not valuable, first edition books that I do not loan things I want back.



Paul F.
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A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
----
Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.

--

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--
Eureka, CA
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Re: Loaned my nephew an Epiphone Wilshire guitar to learn on a few years ago. I checked with him to see if I could get it back. I'm sure y'all know what happened.
Posted by: decocritter
Date: May 19, 2014 07:21AM
I would ask for a "loan" and be totally serious about it. This rich kid needs to learn about responsibility. He won't think other people's money losses are important either.
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