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Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: February 17, 2017 08:07AM




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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: tronnei
Date: February 17, 2017 08:27AM
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: voodoopenguin
Date: February 17, 2017 09:59AM
Financial planning...

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,
he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years,
my father will die and I will inherit £200 million."

Intrigued and impressed, the woman asked for his business card;

Three weeks later she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.


Paul



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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: NewtonMP2100
Date: February 17, 2017 10:18AM
....you guys seem to have the GIF of Gab.....



____________________________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: February 17, 2017 10:27AM
Quote
voodoopenguin
Financial planning...

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,
he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years,
my father will die and I will inherit £200 million."

Intrigued and impressed, the woman asked for his business card;

Three weeks later she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.


Paul


LOL



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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: February 17, 2017 11:54AM
Purely for local audiences:

Staten Island Ice Tea-like Long Island Ice Tea, but with a film on top.



(Yes, this gets laffs in NYC.)
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: February 17, 2017 12:15PM
Cutesy stuff:


"I know it's pricey, but who else has Snausage tapas in this part of town?"
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: billb
Date: February 17, 2017 12:21PM
Divorced Man Settles Accounts-

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.


On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.


On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water. When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods. He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.


On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.


Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.


Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. Then the ex- called the woman and asked how things were going.. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house. Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.


He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork. A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ...... and to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!


I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?



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The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is the knowledge of one's own ignorance. -Benjamin Franklin


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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Will Collier
Date: February 18, 2017 08:34AM
My classical musician wife's favorite joke:

Q: What's brown and sits on a piano?

A: Beethoven's last movement.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: February 18, 2017 09:13AM
Quote
Will Collier
My classical musician wife's favorite joke:

Q: What's brown and sits on a piano?

A: Beethoven's last movement.


AHHHHHHHHH!



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