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Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: June 02, 2017 02:06PM








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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/02/2017 03:03PM by pRICE cUBE.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: pdq
Date: June 02, 2017 02:31PM
Sorry. Not feeling funny today.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: June 02, 2017 03:15PM
My sister bet me $100 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?
Tennish

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the 'P' is silent.



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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: DP
Date: June 02, 2017 04:01PM
I'll probably get slapped for this one but I've seen worse here!
Anyway, on the golf course, the golfer slices big time into a nice garden near the fairway. Not wanting to step on the flowers, he very carefully steps into the garden to look for his ball. Poof! Mother Nature appears and tells him, "Because you took such extreme care not to harm my buttercups, I'll give you free butter for life!" The golfer says, "What! Where were you last week when I hit my ball into the pussy willows!"





Disclaimer: This post is checked for correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Any attempts at humor are solely the responsibility of the author and bear no claim that any and all readers will approve or appreciate said attempt at humor.
My name is DP, and I approve this message.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/02/2017 04:24PM by DP.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: June 02, 2017 04:53PM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Todd's keyboard
Date: June 02, 2017 05:13PM
Just found out that "the most famous unpublished novel in America" was finally published.

Tom Wolfe—in The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test—mentioned Ken Babbs' manuscript about the Vietnam War that was a box of pages in the Pranksters' garage. Turns out Babbs' novel Who Shot the Water Buffalo? was published a few years ago.

My favourite line so far, one of the characters asks another character (from Iowa) what folks do with all that corn.

"We eat what we can and what we can't eat we can."

Todd's patient keyboard
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: jh
Date: June 02, 2017 05:29PM
Old SEC football joke.

What do the letters Auburn stand for?
Alabama usually beats us red necks

What do the letters UT stand for? (University Tenn.)
Us too.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: June 02, 2017 05:36PM
Did you hear about how Canada got it's name? They reached into a sack and pulled out letters...

C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?



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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: GuyGene
Date: June 02, 2017 06:17PM
A traveling salesman got turned around in the country, so he stopped at a farmers house. He knocked on the door, farmer came, salesman said, sir, I got turned around. Can you tell me how to get to the nearest town?

smiley-laughing001



That old man - he don't think like no old man...
Now I wouldn't want to be within 400 - 500 yards of one of them nuclear bombs when it goes off! WW1 Vet Old Man
"He's pinned under an outcropping of rock. Lucky for him, the rock kept the dirt from burying him alive."
If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport. And I'd be a TSA agent.
A bonified member of The Mystic Knights of The Sea, George P. Stevens, President. Andy Brown, Treasurer, Algonquin J. Calhoun, Legal Consultant.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/02/2017 06:18PM by GuyGene.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: billb
Date: June 02, 2017 06:19PM




The Phorum Wall keeps us safe from illegal characters and words
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is the knowledge of one's own ignorance. -Benjamin Franklin
BOYCOTT YOPLAIT [www.noyoplait.com]
[soundcloud.com]
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: June 02, 2017 07:15PM
billb, please feel free to post your political postings on the 'Friendly' Political Ranting, that is what it is for. Stop crapping on people's non-political posts on this side of the forum.



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: billb
Date: June 02, 2017 07:51PM
Neither Tiger nor Kathy are politicians.




The Phorum Wall keeps us safe from illegal characters and words
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is the knowledge of one's own ignorance. -Benjamin Franklin
BOYCOTT YOPLAIT [www.noyoplait.com]
[soundcloud.com]




Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/02/2017 07:57PM by billb.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: June 02, 2017 09:57PM
The Kathy Griffin situation is politically related and you know it. Stop crapping on people's threads. I would rather this thread moved over to the political side.



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]






Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/02/2017 10:32PM by pRICE cUBE.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Bernie
Date: June 02, 2017 10:15PM
Survey says......
Kathy Griffin not funny.




Staunton, Virginia
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: max
Date: June 03, 2017 02:03AM
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: DeusxMac
Date: June 03, 2017 09:27AM
Quote
Todd's keyboard
My favourite line so far, one of the characters asks another character (from Iowa) what folks do with all that corn.

"We eat what we can and what we can't eat we can.

First heard that as a kid about 100 years ago, but it was the more playful "We eat what we can, and what we can't we can."
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post a joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: raz
Date: June 03, 2017 12:08PM
Quote
DeusxMac
Quote
Todd's keyboard
My favourite line so far, one of the characters asks another character (from Iowa) what folks do with all that corn.

"We eat what we can and what we can't eat we can.

First heard that as a kid about 100 years ago, but it was the more playful "We eat what we can, and what we can't we can."

Actually, that's the middle of a joke. The farmer tells that to a Brit who reports back home

'Apparently, they consume what they are able to, and the rest they put in tins'



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Embarassing myself on the Internet since 1978.
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