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Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: richorlin
Date: June 25, 2017 05:03PM
Poll
Should they stay the full nine days?
Only registered users are allowed to vote for this poll.
44 votes were received.
Throw them out after the original four 6
 
14%
Make them book a hotel room 16
 
36%
Swallow your bile and live with it. After all, they're your wife's relatives and she's going to be there long after they're gone. 22
 
50%



My son and daughter-in-law (who got married this Feb) are having a wedeing ceremony this October.
My wife's brother and sister-in-law are invited and are travelling from Australia. Ours is just one stop on a multi-city journey through Europe and the US. Basically an around the world ticket because it's cheaper from Australia.
Originally we were putting them up for just four days, which is about all II can stand them for. They are both very opinionated and he is a slob. Last time he stayed with us he didn't change his socks for four days and when we trqvelled with them in Italy, he wore the same pair of pants for two weeks and just threw them away before flying hiome.
About a month ago I saw an email from the sis-in-law to my wife saying they've booked and paid for the tickets, and 'by the way, our connections mean we have to stay with you another five days [total nine], do you mind?"
I sort of agree with Ben Franklin in that houseguests and fish stink after three days.
However, I don't think I qwould be as pissed off if they had asked first, before booking and paying, relatives or not.
What's the general consensus?

EDIT: Unfortunately, my wife is ok with them staying the nine days and sees nothing wrong with it.



richorlin

[DrawingMyLife.com]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/25/2017 07:01PM by richorlin.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Ombligo
Date: June 25, 2017 05:11PM
I voted to keep drop it into your wifes lap.. she may not want them around either, so you may reach a mutual decision. I would also consider visiting someone else if she says they can stay, go see someone for a few days just to escape. But whatever you do, follow her lead.



“No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong.”
-- François de La Rochefoucauld
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Racer X
Date: June 25, 2017 05:14PM
Unless they can stay without screwing up your routine, 9 days is too long in my book.

My mom and step-dad have stayed for multiple weeks, but our house has essentially a second living unit downstairs. Separate door, full kitchen and dining area, 2 bedrooms, full bath, and the house's TV room is down there too. But we have 2 TVs upstairs too.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: C(-)ris
Date: June 25, 2017 05:41PM
Way to long. Tell them to get an extended stay hotel.



C(-)ris
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: rgG
Date: June 25, 2017 06:09PM
Maybe suggest a five day excursion to somewhere near where you live.
Nine days is too long and they didn't ask first, which is NOT ok.
I would let your wife take lead on this, bit hopefully she is on the same page.





Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: June 25, 2017 06:55PM
9 days is not cool unless they asked first (after spending a half hour buttering you up before).

If you don't care how staying friendly with them, I would say that because of the stress of ceremony preparations, you changed your mind about inviting them to stay at your house. You have made a reservation for them at the local "suites" hotel and expect them to pay out of their own pocket.



In tha 360. MRF User Map
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: anonymouse1
Date: June 25, 2017 07:05PM
"G, we're so sorry to hear that. While we had cleared up our schedules for your original visit, we've also made other plans for those other days, as you had told us that you weren't going to be here then. We really wish we could do something about that, but we're kind of Locked in now. Would be happy to look for other arrangements for you, if you'd like us to."
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: IronMac
Date: June 25, 2017 07:21PM
Quote
anonymouse1
"G, we're so sorry to hear that. While we had cleared up our schedules for your original visit, we've also made other plans for those other days, as you had told us that you weren't going to be here then. We really wish we could do something about that, but we're kind of Locked in now. Would be happy to look for other arrangements for you, if you'd like us to."

Excellent!

I hate it when people presume something is okay without asking you first.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: billb
Date: June 25, 2017 07:42PM
Quote
richorlin

About a month ago I saw an email from the sis-in-law to my wife saying they've booked and paid for the tickets, and 'by the way, our connections mean we have to stay with you another five days [total nine], do you mind?"


EDIT: Unfortunately, my wife is ok with them staying the nine days and sees nothing wrong with it.

A month has gone by ?
Sure sounds like your wife has made plans to hang up the welcome sign.

Your son and daughter owe you one.
Grin and make this a wedding present somehow.
Your wife owes you one.
Put on your happy face and be the better person.
and yeah, it's gonna suck. So what. You've got your health.
Maybe some of your own good living example will rub off on them.
LOL



The Phorum Wall keeps us safe from illegal characters and words
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is the knowledge of one's own ignorance. -Benjamin Franklin
BOYCOTT YOPLAIT [www.noyoplait.com]
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/25/2017 07:46PM by billb.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Onamuji
Date: June 25, 2017 08:04PM
Not enough info.

If you have a guest-bedroom and bathroom for them then there's probably enough room to stay away and keep your temper if you make a minimal effort.

If the accommodations require a lot of contact with them -- and especially if you're sharing the bathroom -- then you've got a good case to ask them to spend at least part of the trip in a hotel.



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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: rgG
Date: June 25, 2017 08:45PM
Sorry to hear your wife is ok with it. I would also be pissed at her for not asking me about it, as soon as she got the email. But what can I say, I am crotchety and like my privacy and I DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE TO CHANGE PLANS ON ME WITHOUT ASKING. grinning smiley





Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: pqrst
Date: June 25, 2017 09:06PM
What is your wife's reaction to your position?
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Ombligo
Date: June 25, 2017 09:24PM
Wife says ok, then your sunk.

Would she be upset if you visited some family, or go camping for a week?



“No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong.”
-- François de La Rochefoucauld
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Racer X
Date: June 25, 2017 09:37PM
Have her pay for your week long dude ranch retreat.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: tenders
Date: June 25, 2017 11:19PM
A request beyond the pale to make of the parents of the groom around a wedding.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Sam3
Date: June 26, 2017 04:15AM
For the sake of family harmony, especially with your wife, your third option says it all, you'll need to suck it up and deal with it. Remember, it's 9 days out of how many years? It may be an annoying, aggravating time, but will be only 2.4% of this year.

Talk it over with your wife, maybe you can do something on your own for that time, like visit an out of town relative or a friend that you've been meaning to touch base with.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Mr645
Date: June 26, 2017 07:02AM
Buy a few bottles of Fabreeze and keep them handy
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Kraniac
Date: June 26, 2017 07:44AM
This sounds like torture..what a couple of bogarts they sound like..i would never impose myself on anyone like that..plans change..add five days? i look for a hotel..no mention of staying with you.

this : " 'by the way, our connections mean we have to stay with you another five days [total nine], do you mind?" " sound like it's a line from script about a couple of a-holes...Meet The Douchays.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: testcase
Date: June 26, 2017 08:13AM
Yeah, if wifey doesn't mind, YOU have a problem. You could book yourself in somewhere and, since wifey doesn't mind the intruders, she can deal with them.


Of course, after being forced to deal with the bozos for nine days on her own, she might have an ax to grind when you want to return (which could result in her being more understanding the next time a situation like this comes up or, one of you files for divorce).


If you do bite the bullet and cohabitate, have LOTS of things planned to keep you out of the house as much as possible.


Last thought, contact the invaders and bluntly tell them EXACTLY what they do that offends you. Showering once a day and wearing clean clothes is NOT too much to ask. They might be offended enough that they male alternate plans.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: June 26, 2017 08:26AM
My mother in law had a passive aggressive way of dealing with unexpected guests. They got the CHEAP hot dogs for dinner. In our house ?

They're expected to do chores like everyone else. Heck, if I had workers here for unexpected lengths of time, they'd be painting rooms for me.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: mspace
Date: June 26, 2017 09:26AM
I would ask them to get a hotel for the extra days.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: June 26, 2017 09:32AM
There's also option "D". Instead of stewing the next three months and letting the dread grow, set your mind to figuring out the best strategy(ies) you can to work out an at least tolerable relationship with them. Call it a 'last ditch effort' or whatever helps get your mind in a productive place.

With it being your wife's brother, chances are this isn't going to be your last encounter. If you can find a way to play the master diplomat, it's a win for everybody.

Worst case, you can point to these efforts as you pulling out all the stops to bridge the gap and use it as leverage in minimizing exposure when discussing any future visits.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: NewtonMP2100
Date: June 26, 2017 11:07AM
....kick....'dem....to.....'da....curb....



____________________________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: 3d
Date: June 26, 2017 11:14AM
Note to Self:
Scratch "Guest Room" from any future renovations. Purchase air mattress (and a few extra mouse traps) to go in unfinished basement. Hey, there's a working slop sink down there with cold AND HOT water.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: space-time
Date: June 26, 2017 11:35AM
Go easy on them. They are family after all. What if this was your family and your wife was venting here on forum?

They come all the way from Australia. It's not like this is a stranger coming from 3 hours away. Think about Jet leg, travel stress, etc.

You may want to visit Australia at some point and they could return the favour.
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: Buzz
Date: June 26, 2017 01:06PM
After a couple of days, I'd take a trip somewhere else myself.
See ya later, mate.
==
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: NewtonMP2100
Date: June 26, 2017 01:43PM
....the new 'Beauty & the Beast' live-action movie says.....Be Our Guest......



____________________________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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Re: Opinions wanted about house guests
Posted by: rz
Date: June 26, 2017 08:27PM
yeah, I'd be telling my wife that if they are staying, I'm not. A not so subtle way to get your point across.
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