advertisement
Forums

The Forum is sponsored by 
 

AAPL stock: Click Here

You are currently viewing the Tips and Deals forum
Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: Grumpyguy
Date: October 31, 2018 11:35AM
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

BUMP!…

BUMP…

BUMP…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

FASTER…

FASTER…

BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP…

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...

clappity-BUMP…

clappity-BUMP…

clappity-BUMP…

…on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…

and,

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

The coffin stops.



Bryan
______________________________________________________
Mac Mini 2.6 GHz, 16 GB ram High Sierra
MacBook Pro (Early 2008 model) 2.4 GHz, 4 GB ram, 200 GB hard drive/ Mac OS 10.9.1 and XP SP3
iPhone 7 iOS 11
Location: Cincinnati



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/31/2018 11:36AM by Grumpyguy.
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: billb
Date: October 31, 2018 12:17PM




The Phorum Wall keeps us safe from illegal characters and words
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is the knowledge of one's own ignorance. -Benjamin Franklin
BOYCOTT YOPLAIT [www.noyoplait.com]
[soundcloud.com]
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: prymsnap
Date: October 31, 2018 12:37PM
What does Dracula take when he has a cold?

Coffin drops.
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: prymsnap
Date: October 31, 2018 12:38PM
What does the ghost have for dessert?

I-scream.
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: Markintosh
Date: October 31, 2018 01:19PM
How come skeletons make bad climbers (or skiers or sky divers, etc)?

.



.



.


.


.


No Guts!

smiley-music039



“Live your life, love your life, don’t regret…live, learn and move forward positively.” – CR Johnson
Loving life in Lake Tahoe, CA
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: October 31, 2018 01:40PM
the above coffin joke should say 'Robitussin' twice instead of 'cough syrup' That puts the punch line at the end.
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: October 31, 2018 03:05PM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: timg
Date: October 31, 2018 04:38PM




Skill without imagination is craftsmanship. Imagination without skill is Modern Art.
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: Grumpyguy
Date: October 31, 2018 05:06PM




Bryan
______________________________________________________
Mac Mini 2.6 GHz, 16 GB ram High Sierra
MacBook Pro (Early 2008 model) 2.4 GHz, 4 GB ram, 200 GB hard drive/ Mac OS 10.9.1 and XP SP3
iPhone 7 iOS 11
Location: Cincinnati
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: miK.
Date: October 31, 2018 07:01PM
Truth...





Sometimes I wonder, "What would Hodor say in this situation?" - Jim Gaffigan





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/31/2018 07:22PM by miK..
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: space-time
Date: October 31, 2018 07:11PM
Quote
miK.
Truth...


broken link.
Options:  Reply • Quote
Re: Post your Halloween jokes here
Posted by: rexs
Date: November 01, 2018 01:11AM
The elderly woman opens the door for the trick or treaters and there is a boy dressed as a pirate.
She smiles and says "aren't you just the cutest little pirate". And asks," Where are your buccaneers?"
The boy looks up at her and says "Under my Buck'en hat, Ma'am"
Options:  Reply • Quote
Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.

Click here to login

Online Users

Guests: 246
Record Number of Users: 186 on February 20, 2020
Record Number of Guests: 2330 on October 25, 2018