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Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated. (Update in OP)
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: November 19, 2018 03:26PM
- - - - - - - - - - - -

After a long time taking care of our mom when Alzheimer’s crept in, then another couple of years that saw me go from healthy to a cane to a walker and finally at least back to a cane, there was light at the end of the tunnel.

But, as they say, that light was just another train. This time for my sister, Denise. Stage 4 lung cancer, both lungs, inoperable. Chemo will buy a year, maybe two, then it will be clutching at weeks, not months.

It’s just sister and me, so I’m her caregiver, chief cook and bottle washer, and for her, my Best Big Sister Ever, I’d do it till the end of time.

It does create a Catch-22 of sorts though. Between the times she’s too sick to work and tying my already limited work schedule to caretaking duties, we’re a household running on two part time jobs. And of course the medical bills are already mounting.

So, I’ve created a GoFundMe page aimed at holding the fort for the next six months to a year. If any of you out there are able to make a donation, of any size, we’ll be forever grateful. Sharing a link to the page will also be of enormous help.

Thank you.

Jeff Miller
Blankity Blank
JeffM
Punchnuts


Sis





Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2018 01:07PM by Blankity Blank.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: testcase
Date: November 19, 2018 03:32PM
Condolences on your troubles.

Is hospice care available in your area? Usually the prognosis is six months or less but, I'd certainly check it out. Hospice workers are ANGELS. angel smiley
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Bo
Date: November 19, 2018 03:34PM
Yuck...that sucks! Donation given.

My sister has been battling breast cancer at a much more manageable level and just had another surgery this morning.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: anonymouse1
Date: November 19, 2018 03:39PM
Here's a leading-edge approach which is gaining increasing traction in mainstream medicine:

[www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]

very commercial site, very good info on this topic:
[articles.mercola.com]

A good book:
[www.amazon.com]

Worth considering, although most mainstream docs aren't familiar with it: fasting in conjunction with chemo or radiation. Evidence is preliminary, but promising:
[www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]
[www.oncnursingnews.com]

My best guess is that fasting or a fasting mimicking diet induces apopoptosis, making the cancer cells more vulnerable. Probably other mechanisms going on as well....

Good luck!
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: hal
Date: November 19, 2018 03:52PM
I'm so sorry - I'd do ANYTHING for my sister too.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: space-time
Date: November 19, 2018 04:02PM
done, although when I reload the page I don't the see the amount of number of donors being updated. I am not 100% sure it went through, although the web site said it did. Maybe it takes some time.

God bless you and your sister.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: mikebw
Date: November 19, 2018 04:22PM
Best wishes to you both. Treatment itself can be awful, but I like to think it's always worth a fight. Of course only she can make that decision.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Speedy
Date: November 19, 2018 05:27PM
Done.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: lost in space
Date: November 19, 2018 05:28PM
Jeff,

Our city has a great caregiver support network, which helped us get support for my ailing sister-in-law: food delivered, errands, like groceries, medication pickup, transportation. Yours may have something similar. Or maybe you've already hooked up. Best wishes to you and your sis.



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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Dennis R
Date: November 19, 2018 05:36PM
I’m so very sorry. Sendin strength and prayers.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: max
Date: November 19, 2018 06:13PM
Done....
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Speedy
Date: November 19, 2018 06:28PM
Denise may qualify for medical assistance due to her disease/disability as well as social security disability income.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: November 19, 2018 07:19PM
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone. Your donations, good wishes and suggestions mean the world.

I won’t lie, this is heartbreaking, scary and infuriating. But both of us have a good strip of junkyard dog in us, and we will carry on, especially with kind and caring people like you having our backs.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Pam
Date: November 19, 2018 07:53PM
I am so sorry! What devastating news. My best to you and your sister.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Rolando
Date: November 19, 2018 08:17PM
Quote
testcase
Condolences on your troubles.

Is hospice care available in your area? Usually the prognosis is six months or less but, I'd certainly check it out. Hospice workers are ANGELS. angel smiley

This. My father spent his final week there. As did my wife's grandmother.

As for the chemo, please let that be your sisters choice, the choice she wants.



San Antonio, TX (in the old city)


"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
“Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." - Eli Weisel

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt (1918)

"I don’t want to see religious bigotry in any form. It would disturb me if there was a wedding between the religious fundamentalists and the political right. The hard right has no interest in religion except to manipulate it." - Billy Graham 1981

"Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can't and won't compromise" - Barry Goldwater
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: M A V I C
Date: November 19, 2018 09:09PM
Wait, Punchnuts as in punching Schiller's nuts?




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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: November 19, 2018 09:28PM
Quote
M A V I C
Wait, Punchnuts as in punching Schiller's nuts?
Guilty. judge smiley
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: mrbigstuff
Date: November 19, 2018 09:44PM
Best of luck and well wishes to your sister, and you, of course.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: M A V I C
Date: November 19, 2018 09:57PM
Quote
Blankity Blank
Quote
M A V I C
Wait, Punchnuts as in punching Schiller's nuts?
Guilty. judge smiley

How did I not know/remember this? I've met you in person. It's been 15 years though.

Tough times. I can't imagine how much your care means to them, but I'm sure it's a lot.




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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: November 20, 2018 01:13AM
This makes me wish I was still in the Sacramento area so I could help out with things like transportation and other chores. Hang in there.



In tha 360. MRF User Map
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: wave rider
Date: November 20, 2018 03:46AM
Sorry to hear of your sister's diagnosis. Please send my best wishes.

Reach out for help. Cancer social worker may will have resources you have not thought of. Cancer support group for her, caregiver support group for you. Just go.

My heart goes out to you two. I have been in similar shoes a few years ago and know how overwhelming it can be.



=wr=
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: S. Pupp
Date: November 20, 2018 07:31AM
I am so sorry that this is happening to your sister.

As a former hospice employee, I give another vote for getting hospice involved. There are criteria for qualification, but it doesn't hurt to be evaluated now, and it might speed things up to get reevaluated as the illness progresses.

Another vote also for getting help from a cancer social worker. Her cancer team should have such resources.

When considering chemo, quality vs quantity of life needs to be considered. Your sister should talk to people in similar situations (support group) before making up her mind.

An vote also for making this post a sticky for now, to keep donations flowing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/20/2018 07:32AM by S. Pupp.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: NewtonMP2100
Date: November 20, 2018 07:38AM
....sorry to hear.....most of the time family is all one has and the only one that one can count on....wish you and her the best....



_____________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: samintx
Date: November 20, 2018 08:16AM
Oh, my heart goes out to the whole family. Cancer is a family problem as it affects the whole family in one way or another. I am a cancer survivor...and took care of an Alz gentleman companion for 8 years....Not an easy road for you. We will all pray for you and your family. I wish there was a word that would make it all right.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: prymsnap
Date: November 20, 2018 08:41AM
So very sorry to hear this. Yes, like the other posters, definitely look into hospice. Once you qualify, that opens up a whole new batch of services, resources and financial assistance. That won't heal your broken heart, but it might make the practical details more bearable.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: vision63
Date: November 20, 2018 08:46AM
Praying for your sweet sister, you and your mom.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Bill in NC
Date: November 20, 2018 09:04AM
Quote
S. Pupp
I am so sorry that this is happening to your sister.

As a former hospice employee, I give another vote for getting hospice involved. There are criteria for qualification, but it doesn't hurt to be evaluated now, and it might speed things up to get reevaluated as the illness progresses.

Another vote also for getting help from a cancer social worker. Her cancer team should have such resources.

When considering chemo, quality vs quantity of life needs to be considered. Your sister should talk to people in similar situations (support group) before making up her mind.

An vote also for making this post a sticky for now, to keep donations flowing.

Ditto.

I'm caring of an older relative who was unexpectedly diagnosed with terminal, stage 4 breast cancer back in September.

Getting them enrolled in Hospice last month allowed me to move them from a nursing home across town to an assisted living facility near me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/20/2018 09:04AM by Bill in NC.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Grateful11
Date: November 20, 2018 10:34AM
Positive thoughts and prayers for your sister.



Grateful11
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: tuqqer
Date: November 20, 2018 11:12AM
Done. Thanks for posting this, Blankity, and for the GoFundme link.



Mac Pro 2013 3.7GHz Quad-Core, 32G RAM Big Sur 11.x Dual 25" Acer 1440p LCDs11" i5 MacBook Air
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: pdq
Date: November 20, 2018 11:30AM
Stage 4 lung cancer is really bad, but there are some new (legitimate medical) therapies which have shown impressive results. It depends upon specific details of the type of lung cancer. If you will be in on the oncologist meetings, in addition to asking about the specific type of cancer (or a copy of the pathology reports), you might ask about:

1) EGFR/ALK status
2) Other tumor mutations
3) PDL1 testing

Good luck.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: November 20, 2018 11:38AM
Hoping for the best for your sister.



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: mspace
Date: November 20, 2018 11:46AM
done.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Frank
Date: November 20, 2018 05:47PM
So sorry to hear of your troubles. Best wishes to you and your sister. Caregiver support groups have been helpful to me in caring for my wife's alzheimers for the past eight years. Check into it if you have the time in your busy life.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Speedy
Date: November 20, 2018 06:01PM
Quote
Frank
So sorry to hear of your troubles. Best wishes to you and your sister. Caregiver support groups have been helpful to me in caring for my wife's alzheimers for the past eight years. Check into it if you have the time in your busy life.

I’m sorry to hear about your wife’s illness, I can only imagine what this is like.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: November 20, 2018 08:12PM
A brief update

Thanks again for all the kind wishes and ongoing donations.

Sister is weathering her first round of chemo and adjusting to the required meds. So far, we have started exploring hospice options, finding support group options and have found both a great social services advisor and an Oncology Nurse Navigator that is an angel.

We especially want to send out additional blessings and good wishes to all those who are also coping with trying ordeals.

November is National Caregivers Month, and more information and resources can be found at cargiving.org and the American Cancer Society’s web site.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: M A V I C
Date: November 20, 2018 08:22PM
Thank you for you courage. I know someone whose siblings moved across country so they can play the card of "if we were closer, we would help."




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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: robfilms
Date: November 21, 2018 12:13PM
done!

stay strong.

(she needs you/we need you)

rob



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2018 12:13PM by robfilms.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: anonymouse1
Date: November 21, 2018 01:55PM
In.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: space-time
Date: November 22, 2018 07:55AM
Quote
M A V I C
... I know someone whose siblings moved across country so they can play the card of "if we were closer, we would help."


wow... did these people hear about karma?
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: comphernation
Date: November 22, 2018 09:58AM
Did what I could. Will be thinking of you.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: rjmacs
Date: November 23, 2018 08:15AM
So sorry that this has befallen your family, Jeff - please give your sister my love and support.

Thank you for sharing with us, and being willing to ask for our help. We're a tight community, albeit finite - it's hard to raise $25K quickly. Please feel encouraged to come back and remind us that the need persists, and you still need help.

I'm going to donate now, before I do any Black Friday shopping. Sending you lots of love and support.



rj
AKA
Vreemac, Moth of the Future
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: TheCaber
Date: November 24, 2018 06:21PM
Done.



=TC
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: anonymouse1
Date: November 26, 2018 11:46AM
I _very strongly_ urge you to have your sister's cancer doc look at the following material, from one of the leading researchers in the metabolic theory of cancer. These are the shownotes from a podcast, but there's plenty of information there to get the doc started:

[peterattiamd.com]
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: November 26, 2018 07:03PM
Thanks again to everyone for their inspiration and generosity.

The road is neither easy nor short, but that doesn’t matter in the least. Like so many of us, sister has had her fair share of ups and downs in life (including what I guess might not have really been a lung cancer ‘false alarm’ some ten years ago) and she’s always persevered.

As I think I mentioned earlier, she was a titan caring for our mom in her last years. She’s one of my heroes. I’d take a silverback gorilla behind the 7-11 and give him first shot in a nut punching contest for her.

And thanks to those offering links and suggestions. They are more in my wheelhouse than you’ll ever know. It takes huge amounts of willpower for me not to drive both my sister and her doctor batty with marathon Q&As based on my WebMD University Doctor of Oncology degree.

But given that when she’s cranky my sister may very well be able to win a nut* punching contest with a silverback gorilla, I keep my interrogations on the short side.



*I know, she’d have an unfair advantage, but I never let anatomy get in the way of an easy joke.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: space-time
Date: November 26, 2018 08:27PM
Quote
Blankity Blank
...Like so many of us, sister has had her fair share of ups and downs in life (including what I guess might not have really been a lung cancer ‘false alarm’ some ten years ago) and she’s always persevered.
...

Thanks a lot for the follow up, and for the good lesson. Many of us have "false alarms" at some point in our lives, so it's a good idea to get a second opinion and re-check once in a while.


Once again best of luck to you and your sister.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: JoeM
Date: November 26, 2018 08:29PM
So sorry to hear of the trails you and your sister have been and are going through. I don't have much to offer right now other than good wishes and prayers for you both.



JoeM
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated.
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: November 27, 2018 01:12PM
Quote
JoeM
So sorry to hear of the trails you and your sister have been and are going through. I don't have much to offer right now other than good wishes and prayers for you both.
Thank you Joe. Every good wish, every prayer is appreciated.
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated. (Update in OP)
Posted by: anonymouse1
Date: November 27, 2018 01:35PM
Third time's the charm?

There's lots of science out there about how fasting and/or a ketogenic diet can make chemotherapy much more effective. Here's a good book on it, and other aspects of the metabolic theory of cancer:

[www.amazon.com]
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated. (Update in OP)
Posted by: GeneL
Date: November 28, 2018 05:26AM
Jeff, I'm sad to hear about your sister, but as bad as her health ordeal is, she is fortunate to have someone so invested in doing whatever you can for her.

I started writing to you several times yesterday and today, but I had difficulty completing my thoughts. I'm afraid that my own ordeal has impaired my thinking and more than ever before, it is making it harder to walk.

I read that you are thinking about setting up an iPad for your sister, so I pulled out the LG V700 10 inch tablet that I had "retired" when I bought a Samsung Tab7 on my Verizon plan a few months ago.

The LG. is working, but relatively slow compared with the Tab7, but I want to offer it to you, if it would help your sister. It would strictly be a wifi device.

Let me know if this tablet would be useful. It's yours for free if you can use it. It is an android device, BTW.

Words fall short, no matter how much caring is behind them, but I know that the kind thoughts that I have received from my friends on the forum have meant a lot to me.

Please add me to your supporters as you travel the difficult highway that is before you.

Love to you and your sister,

GeneL



gl @ Dana Point, CA
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Re: Cancer hits home. Any help will be appreciated. (Update in OP)
Posted by: A-Polly
Date: November 28, 2018 07:20AM
What a hard road. Donation sent, and all possible blessings and luck to you both.
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