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Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: January 11, 2019 10:35AM




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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Lux Interior
Date: January 11, 2019 10:45AM
Did you hear about oxygen & magnesium?

OMg!


Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?

Because a burger is in its ground state.


What did the dentist say to the golfer?

you have a hole in one.


Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It was driving down the road when suddenly it turned into a field.


Why are birds so bad at following directions?

Because they like to wing it.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: space-time
Date: January 11, 2019 10:49AM
Two guys talking about their marriages.

First guy: I got married twice and I had bad luck both times.
Second guy: what happened?
First guy: the first wife ran away with an Italian lover.
Second guy: and the second time?
First guy: this wife is does not want to run away.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: voodoopenguin
Date: January 11, 2019 11:26AM
Apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, "The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis"

Paul



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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: January 11, 2019 11:35AM
A couple ask their doctor to watch them have sex.

The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare



"After a time, you may find, that having is not so pleasing a thing after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."

- Mr. Spock



“There is no greater calling than to serve your fellow men. There is no greater contribution than to help the weak. There is no greater satisfaction than to have done it well.”

- Walter Reuther
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: space-time
Date: January 11, 2019 11:46AM
LOL Rick-o
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: max
Date: January 11, 2019 01:34PM
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: timg
Date: January 11, 2019 01:36PM
Quote
max

That's one Mammoth Marine Mammal !!!



Skill without imagination is craftsmanship. Imagination without skill is Modern Art.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Grumpyguy
Date: January 11, 2019 03:43PM




Bryan
______________________________________________________
Mac Mini 2.6 GHz, 16 GB ram High Sierra
MacBook Pro (Early 2008 model) 2.4 GHz, 4 GB ram, 200 GB hard drive/ Mac OS 10.9.1 and XP SP3
iPhone 7 iOS 11
Location: Cincinnati
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: timg
Date: January 11, 2019 03:56PM
Quote
Grumpyguy

My God! What IS that?



Skill without imagination is craftsmanship. Imagination without skill is Modern Art.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: January 11, 2019 04:02PM




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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: jdc
Date: January 11, 2019 04:15PM
Quote
timg



My God! What IS that?

Spoiler.





----


Edited 999 time(s). Last edit at 12:08PM by jdc.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2019 04:15PM by jdc.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: January 11, 2019 04:50PM
It's not even their final form!





In tha 360. [url=Zee Maps Now requires a subscription/payment to work]MRF User Map[/url]
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: DeusxMac
Date: January 11, 2019 06:03PM
Quote
jdc
Quote
timg



My God! What IS that?

Spoiler.


smiley-laughing001
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: testcase
Date: January 11, 2019 06:27PM
Talk at any sales convention eventually turns to the topic of sex.

The speaker asked “who gets some every night” and many of the young salesmen raised their hands.
.
Then, the speaker asked “who gets some every week”? and many more hands went up.

The speaker then asked “who gets some every month” and a few hands went up.

Finally, the speaker asked “who gets some once a year” which got everyone laughing until one man started jumping up and down yelling “me, me,I do, I do, upon which everyone else fell fell into a stunned silence. When the man was asked why he was so happy about getting some once a year, he replied “because tonight’s the night, tonight’s the night!
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: Speedy
Date: January 11, 2019 08:12PM
Quote
timg
Quote
max

That's one Mammoth Marine Mammal !!!

Yes, but not too bright if it’s trying to mate with that car.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: neophyte
Date: January 12, 2019 10:06AM
Quote
max

The hoods on that model were notoriously hard to close.
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Re: Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story
Posted by: DeusxMac
Date: January 12, 2019 12:51PM
Quote
max

Wow! That is sooooo much bigger than the Northern Elephant Seal.
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