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Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: May 17, 2019 11:07AM
QWhy did the chicken cross the road?






A: why are you so obsessed with a chicken?



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: May 17, 2019 11:11AM
What do you call a beehive without an exit?

Unbelievable



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: May 17, 2019 11:14AM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: voodoopenguin
Date: May 17, 2019 11:31AM
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.”
But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years.
At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”
And the lady said ......

“Pardon?”



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: May 17, 2019 12:22PM
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: hal
Date: May 17, 2019 12:36PM
I don'k know where you get these, but I tune in every friday to read - great stuff!

Quote
voodoopenguin
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.”
But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years.
At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”
And the lady said ......

“Pardon?”
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Grumpyguy
Date: May 17, 2019 12:45PM
The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'don't count your chickens before they're hatched.'"
"That was a fine story Sarah.

Joey, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me a story about my Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands, and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke and then she strangled the last one with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the hell away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking.



Bryan
______________________________________________________
Mac Mini 2.6 GHz, 16 GB ram High Sierra
MacBook Pro (Early 2008 model) 2.4 GHz, 4 GB ram, 200 GB hard drive/ Mac OS 10.9.1 and XP SP3
iPhone 7 iOS 11
Location: Cincinnati
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: jdc
Date: May 17, 2019 12:49PM
Quote
Grumpyguy
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking.

smiley-laughing001



----


Edited 999 time(s). Last edit at 12:08PM by jdc.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: May 17, 2019 12:53PM
Quote
Grumpyguy
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking.
+1
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: btfc
Date: May 17, 2019 02:05PM
Yes, good one!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2019 02:05PM by btfc.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Lux Interior
Date: May 17, 2019 02:36PM
Quote
pRICE cUBE
A: why are you so obsessed with a chicken?


Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to your house.

---

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

The chicken!
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Grumpyguy
Date: May 17, 2019 03:23PM
thumbs up
Quote
Steve G.



Bryan
______________________________________________________
Mac Mini 2.6 GHz, 16 GB ram High Sierra
MacBook Pro (Early 2008 model) 2.4 GHz, 4 GB ram, 200 GB hard drive/ Mac OS 10.9.1 and XP SP3
iPhone 7 iOS 11
Location: Cincinnati
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Buzz
Date: May 17, 2019 03:34PM
+3
==
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: May 17, 2019 06:29PM




In tha 360. MRF User Map
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