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Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: February 28, 2020 07:30AM




Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]






Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2020 07:31AM by pRICE cUBE.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: February 28, 2020 07:36AM
Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? A: Idaho… Alaska!




Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A: a yardvark!




Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? A: At the BP station!





Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream.





Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? A: Clean Jokes!




Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: “Where’s Popcorn?”



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]






Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2020 07:38AM by pRICE cUBE.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: February 28, 2020 07:52AM
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: February 28, 2020 09:10AM
And the lion and the... wiener dogs?... shall lie down together.




These days, close enough.




These three have been friends for awhile. Leo has a bad tooth and has been depressed. Frick and frack are serving as his ‘therapy dogs’.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: February 28, 2020 09:48AM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Altered Horizons
Date: February 28, 2020 10:59AM
Military Advice:

Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.

If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

Tracers work both ways.

Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.

A good landing is when you can walk away from the plane. A great landing is when you can reuse the plane.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Five second grenade fuses last about three seconds.

Try to fly in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, and trees. It is much more difficult to fly there.

Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.

If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

The three best things in life are: A good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time.

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.

Coffee tastes better if the latrines are dug downstream from an encampment.

Incoming fire has the right of way.



Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open. - Sir James Dewar
myHouse: [alteredhorizons.no-ip.org]
myHouse (front door - requires javascript & sound): [alteredhorizons.no-ip.org]

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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: testcase
Date: February 28, 2020 11:56AM
I have a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m sexy.” When I’m feeling down, I just sit at a green light until I feel good about myself.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: MrNoBody
Date: February 28, 2020 02:32PM


damn you smiley



39°36'17"N 75°44'43"W

The search engine that doesn't track you.

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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: February 28, 2020 02:45PM




In tha 360. MRF User Map
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: February 28, 2020 02:45PM
Quote
MrNoBody


damn you smiley

Take my money now!!!! I NEED this!!! smiley-laughing001



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Sarcany
Date: February 28, 2020 07:00PM
Quote
Rick-o
Quote
MrNoBody


damn you smiley

Take my money now!!!! I NEED this!!! smiley-laughing001

The Internet is great for this: Just make your own.

[www.instructables.com]



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: space-time
Date: February 28, 2020 09:00PM
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rolando
Date: February 28, 2020 09:25PM
Tell me if you've heard before

Why does Dr Pepper Come in Bottles?



San Antonio, TX (in the old city)


"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
“Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." - Eli Weisel

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt (1918)

"I don’t want to see religious bigotry in any form. It would disturb me if there was a wedding between the religious fundamentalists and the political right. The hard right has no interest in religion except to manipulate it." - Billy Graham 1981

"Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can't and won't compromise" - Barry Goldwater
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Markintosh
Date: February 28, 2020 11:18PM




“Live your life, love your life, don’t regret…live, learn and move forward positively.” – CR Johnson
Loving life in Lake Tahoe, CA
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