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Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: March 20, 2020 09:54AM
Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?
It was craving a well-balanced meal.





What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?
Lookin’ a little pail there.





Why do chicken coups always have two doors?
With four, they’d be chicken sedans.




What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]






Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2020 10:03AM by pRICE cUBE.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Spiff
Date: March 20, 2020 10:00AM
I don't speak grammar goodly. Maybe I need a visit from them thar grammar police ossifers.

smiley-excited001
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: March 20, 2020 10:03AM
Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but i politely declined.

I can’t deal with high maintenance women.



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: March 20, 2020 10:04AM








Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: March 20, 2020 10:04AM
Hair salons are closed, nail salons are closed, makeup stores are closed...its about to get real ugly out here.



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: March 20, 2020 10:05AM
Due to the quarantine, I will only be telling inside jokes.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: March 20, 2020 10:08AM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Sarcany
Date: March 20, 2020 10:39AM
Quote
pRICE cUBE
TO SERVE AND CORRECT...

"We serve and correct."



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: March 20, 2020 11:30AM
Believe it or not, I actually went to kindergarten, elementary school, midle school, and high school with the brunette in the grammar police photo.



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MacResource User Map: [www.zeemaps.com]#
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: March 20, 2020 11:52AM
Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.





What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little hoarse.
What do cows most like to read?
Cattle-logs.





How does a duck buy lipstick?
She just puts it on her bill.





What did the cop say to his stomach?
Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!



19. What do you call a snowman on a hot day?
Puddle.



What do you do with a sick boat?
Take is to the doc already.



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]






Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2020 11:52AM by pRICE cUBE.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: fromish
Date: March 20, 2020 11:59AM
In light of recent events, I bought a toilet brush. Long story short: I'm going back to toilet paper.

Q: Why is everyone hoarding toilet paper? A: Because when someone in the room sneezes, 10 people poop in their pants.

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. “I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”
“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.
“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: March 20, 2020 12:05PM
What did the older chimney say to the younger one?
But you’re way too young to smoke!





Who do call when the ocean needs a little cleaning?
A mermaid, of course.





What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?
Frisbee.



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pdq
Date: March 20, 2020 12:17PM
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: testcase
Date: March 20, 2020 12:23PM
If you're buying bottles of Smart Water for $5, it's not working........ facepalm
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: testcase
Date: March 20, 2020 12:29PM
I just read a list of "100 Things To Do Before You Die" and I was quite surprised that "Yell for help" wasn't one of them.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: TheCaber
Date: March 20, 2020 02:06PM
PSA:





=TC
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: March 20, 2020 02:21PM
Why did the skeleton hit the party solo?
He had no body to go with him.





What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop?
Shoe!





Why was the poor guy selling yeast?
To raise some dough.



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: March 20, 2020 02:23PM
.



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]






Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2020 02:24PM by pRICE cUBE.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: March 20, 2020 02:26PM




Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Todd's keyboard
Date: March 20, 2020 03:20PM
One good thing, my wife and I scored front-row seating at this year's Couchella Festival.

T's kb
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: TheCaber
Date: March 20, 2020 03:39PM
Stay active!





=TC
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: fromish
Date: March 20, 2020 04:07PM
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store.

They lied.

Everybody else had clothes on.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: testcase
Date: March 20, 2020 09:14PM
I've been surprised that no authority is advocating people (especially seniors) take up / expand yoga.

That way, should the time come, you'll be limber enough to put your head between your legs and, kiss your ess goodbye..... ;)
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: vision63
Date: March 20, 2020 10:15PM
Quote
ztirffritz
Believe it or not, I actually went to kindergarten, elementary school, midle school, and high school with the brunette in the grammar police photo.

I can't unsee this. She can correct my grammar (I mean grammer) whenever.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: TheTominator
Date: March 21, 2020 12:11PM
Quote
pRICE cUBE

Are they not already called Corrections Officer.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Bill in NC
Date: March 23, 2020 10:28AM
n/m



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 03/23/2020 10:35AM by Bill in NC.
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