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Friday Funnies!
Posted by: timg
Date: June 26, 2020 01:16PM
A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!”
“Everything’s big in Texas,” says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles onto a huge barstool, and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow, these drinks are big!”
“Everything’s big in Texas,” says the bartender.
After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally opens the door that leads to the swimming pool and falls in. Popping his head up from under the water, he flails his arms and shouts, “Don’t flush! Don’t flush!”



Skill without imagination is craftsmanship. Imagination without skill is Modern Art.
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Todd's keyboard
Date: June 26, 2020 01:19PM
Washing the car, I was short one soft rag. Fortunately, someone walked by sporting an “All Lives Matter” t-shirt.

Not-so-innocently, I asked, “Even banjoists?”

The car glistens.

Todd's washboard
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: June 26, 2020 01:30PM
"Dear people who think Romeo & Juliet is a romantic love story: It was a relationship that lasted three days between a 13-year-old and a 17-year-old, and resulted in 6 deaths."

"Old people talk into cell phones like they hit the Caps Lock key on their voice."

"A wedding invitation is a gift subpoena."
-Peter Sagal (Wait Wait Don't Tell Me)
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: June 26, 2020 01:50PM
"If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say, "Help, they've turned me into a parrot", you are wasting everybody's time. "
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: timg
Date: June 26, 2020 01:55PM
Quote
Todd's keyboard
Washing the car, I was short one soft rag. Fortunately, someone walked by sporting an “All Lives Matter” t-shirt.

Not-so-innocently, I asked, “Even banjoists?”

The car glistens.

Todd's washboard

Huh?



Skill without imagination is craftsmanship. Imagination without skill is Modern Art.
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: June 26, 2020 02:14PM
"It's gotta be weird stuffing money into a stripper's bikini when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."
-Jimmy Fallon, referring to Prince William's bachelor party
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: June 26, 2020 02:24PM
My neighbor knocked on my door at 3am this morning...3am!! Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: anonymouse1
Date: June 26, 2020 02:46PM
It's an edgy musicians' joke-the joke is that nobody likes the sound of a banjo. Making it about "all lives matter" makes it edgy. I'm not sure how I feel about it....

Quote
timg
Quote
Todd's keyboard
Washing the car, I was short one soft rag. Fortunately, someone walked by sporting an “All Lives Matter” t-shirt.

Not-so-innocently, I asked, “Even banjoists?”

The car glistens.

Todd's washboard

Huh?
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Todd's keyboard
Date: June 26, 2020 02:56PM
Quote
anonymouse1
It's an edgy musicians' joke-the joke is that nobody likes the sound of a banjo. Making it about "all lives matter" makes it edgy. I'm not sure how I feel about it....

You haven't heard me play.
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: June 26, 2020 02:56PM
It's along the lines of bagpipes.

Did you hear the one about the bagpiper who parked his car with the windows open, forgetting that he had left his bagpipes in the back seat?
He rushed back as soon as he realized it, but it was too late--someone had already put another set of bagpipes in the car.

What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead bagpiper in the road?
Skid marks in front of the snake.



In tha 360. MRF User Map
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: timg
Date: June 26, 2020 02:59PM
Quote
anonymouse1
It's an edgy musicians' joke-the joke is that nobody likes the sound of a banjo. Making it about "all lives matter" makes it edgy. I'm not sure how I feel about it....

Quote
timg
Quote
Todd's keyboard
Washing the car, I was short one soft rag. Fortunately, someone walked by sporting an “All Lives Matter” t-shirt.

Not-so-innocently, I asked, “Even banjoists?”

The car glistens.

Todd's washboard

Huh?

Thanks. I am not musically inclined, so I don't know these things, but I'm learning ...



Skill without imagination is craftsmanship. Imagination without skill is Modern Art.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2020 04:53PM by timg.
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Yoyodyne ArtWorks
Date: June 26, 2020 03:08PM
It wasn’t about ban joists.



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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: June 26, 2020 05:54PM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: June 26, 2020 05:57PM
Quote
anonymouse1
It's an edgy musicians' joke-the joke is that nobody likes the sound of a banjo. Making it about "all lives matter" makes it edgy. I'm not sure how I feel about it....

Quote
timg
Quote
Todd's keyboard
Washing the car, I was short one soft rag. Fortunately, someone walked by sporting an “All Lives Matter” t-shirt.

Not-so-innocently, I asked, “Even banjoists?”

The car glistens.

Todd's washboard



Huh?



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: raz
Date: June 26, 2020 07:12PM
Quote
Filliam H. Muffman
It's along the lines of bagpipes.

Did you hear the one about the bagpiper who parked his car with the windows open, forgetting that he had left his bagpipes in the back seat?
He rushed back as soon as he realized it, but it was too late--someone had already put another set of bagpipes in the car.

What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead bagpiper in the road?
Skid marks in front of the snake.

and yet, some of us like bagpipes. Of course, it doesn't hurt to graduate from a University that offers a bagpipe major.



--------------

Embarassing myself on the Internet since 1978.
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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: June 26, 2020 07:23PM











Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies!
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: June 26, 2020 07:58PM




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