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Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: kap
Date: June 20, 2009 11:32AM
A few of our guests just do it automatically. I personally don't see anything wrong with that; my S/O thinks so. Tho' we always ask our guests to take remainders of their potluck contributions home with them as we are not fast and big eaters. The food would just be sitting rot in our refridgerator.



SoCal for now.
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: Fritz
Date: June 20, 2009 11:40AM
not
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: AAA
Date: June 20, 2009 11:45AM
From my family we usually pack up the leftovers.

Now, there is a lot of commotion at the same time.

For one, I HATE TAKING ANY FOOD HOME. PERIOD. So, I fight it even if I like it. I just do not like transporting cooked food in my cars. And I usually like the meal LESS if it becomes a leftover.

I would rather throw it all away.

So, the parents all (both sides) use leftovers as a way of keeping us there longer than we would otherwise want to be there. Even though they know that we are or will be leaving in one hour, let's say, once that hour rolls up, they take another 30 minutes to get containers and send home the food. "Oh, the kids are fine. Let them play a while longer..."

The kids, they usually only want the baked goods, of which there are plenty. So, they will both TAKE and EAT those.

So, I think we go IN with the thought of taking any LARGE leftovers home. Mainly because we have the most mouths to feed. But, I resist that. And in the end we end up taking THEIR stuff back with us, too.
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: mattkime
Date: June 20, 2009 11:46AM
>>For one, I HATE TAKING ANY FOOD HOME. PERIOD

We need to work something out.



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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: June 20, 2009 11:53AM
Unless they bring food in cheap aluminum foil pans, people take their pans back home at every potluck I have been to. If someone really worried looking cheap, they might suggest to leave the food if you want to put it in a storage container or wrap it in foil.

Different families/areas do have different customs. I brought in a pie to an office where I worked and one of the engineers was not able to eat it at work and took the slice home on the plate. It took me a couple of weeks to get it back because it was his families custom that they return it with a full pie. He did not bake and could not get his wife to make a pie for someone she did not know. I said I just wanted my plate back so I could make another pie while the blackberries were still in season.



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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: AAA
Date: June 20, 2009 11:53AM
Not really. I might hate it, but it always happens. So, net net is that there is no extra food for you. Sorry. Unless you want me to adopt you?
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: AlphaDog
Date: June 20, 2009 11:56AM
There's a line. If people have brought something to a potluck meal, then I think it's appropriate for them to automatically take home their own leftovers. If the host has provided the food for the meal and offers leftovers, then it's appropriate to take home leftovers. If the host has provided the food for the meal and guests just help themselves to the leftovers, IT IS NOT OK!!!
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: kap
Date: June 20, 2009 11:57AM
What about unopened bottles of wine? Would that depedend on the price tags?

;)



SoCal for now.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2009 11:58AM by kap.
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: AlphaDog
Date: June 20, 2009 12:01PM
Quote
kap
What about unopened bottles of wine? Would that depedend on the price tags?

;)

You are kidding, are you not? It sounds to me like you need to add some sturdy locks.
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: freeradical
Date: June 20, 2009 12:01PM
Quote
kap
What about unopened bottles of wine? Would that depedend on the price tags?

;)

An unopened bottle of wine?

What???

drinking smiley
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: Jimmypoo
Date: June 20, 2009 12:35PM
Whenever I visit someone, I always take home some of the good food they have in the freezer or fridge.

They may not know it, but that's not my problem.
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Depends.
Posted by: RAMd®d
Date: June 20, 2009 01:15PM
At a pot luck, I'd tend to expect it.

And in the Filipino, it's a given that you at the very least- take a plate. If you're not used to that, it can seem that you're being raided.




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must suffer with him.

Everybody matters or nobody matters.

You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

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-An armed society is a polite society.
And hope is a lousy defense.

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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: Stephanie
Date: June 20, 2009 01:18PM
Re: Depends.
Posted by: AlphaDog
Date: June 20, 2009 01:35PM
The key word for me is "automatically" in the original post, along with the fact potluck contributions are excluded from the question. When I invite guests for a meal, I usually ask if there's anything they'd like to take home with them, assuming there's enough left to warrant dirtying a dish. Some say yes and others don't want to be bothered. If it's my food, I feel it's completely up to me what I choose to do with it. There are times when I've purposely overcooked, because I want the leftovers for some reason. If it's my food, why should others be entitled to it if it's not offered? Now, if this is an ethnic issue, as RAM' posts, that changes the rules, but if that's a consideration in kap's question, it should be clarified.

Edit: I guess I should have added that I don't have a problem standing up for myself. (Who would have guessed, right?!) One time I offered my son leftover ham, and he was getting that ready while I was doing something else. When I looked at the ham, I noticed he got all the slices, and I got the bone. Ah, no, he never made that mistake again.

So, kap, if your S/O doesn't like the fact that people help themselves to the leftovers without them being offered, I could tell her how to resolve that issue. smiling smiley



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2009 01:46PM by AlphaDog.
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Re: Depends.
Posted by: Jimmypoo
Date: June 20, 2009 01:45PM
Ethnic Cleansing means that everyone helps with the dishes.






Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2009 01:48PM by Jimmypoo.
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Re: Depends.
Posted by: AAA
Date: June 20, 2009 02:46PM
Pssst. Hey. I am upstairs right now, but downstairs we have guests that BROUGHT FOOD to our cookout.

I just buzzed through the kitchen to get some medicine and excuse myself (not feeling good). They were dividing up all the food and putting it in containers. So, some stays here, some goes. Not just what they brought.

Thought I would post this late-breaking news for ya
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Re: Depends.
Posted by: Jimmypoo
Date: June 20, 2009 03:05PM
Did you make burritos yet?
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Re: Depends.
Posted by: wurm
Date: June 20, 2009 03:40PM
From another thread...nuts smiley

Hey, it was just a week ago today that we had our family get-together. As it happens, I did end up bringing home some of the potstickers, some of my chilled mango soup and a few slices of my banana bread. Two other folks grabbed some of the banana bread to bring home, as well. The soup and potstickers went over fine, there was just so much freakin' food there, we couldn't have eaten it all if we wanted to...and some of us did.
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: Black
Date: June 20, 2009 04:47PM
R@MdRd hit it- it's a cultural thing.




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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: AlphaDog
Date: June 20, 2009 05:55PM
Hmmmmm. I just thought of something. Wasn't it just about a week ago that kap posted, expressing his frustration that his S/O gave gifts to people that he didn't think she should be spending "our" money on, because they were undeserving? And now this week, it's OK with him for people to come in and help themselves to food that's left over, but it bothers the S/O. Lacking evidence to the contrary, I assume this food is also purchased with "our" money?

I do believe I'm the one the raised the ugly possibility of a power struggle going on within this relationship. In this week's episode, I shall point out that it bothers him that she spends family money on gifts, in spite of his objections, and he allows people to walk away with food (and unopened bottles of wine?) in spite of her objections.

Are we detecting any pattern here?
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: 3d
Date: June 20, 2009 05:57PM
Quote
kap
A few of our guests [take left-over food home] automatically. I personally don't see anything wrong with that; my S/O thinks so. Tho' we always ask our guests to take remainders of their potluck contributions home with them...

So you both tell your guests to take home leftover food even though your S/O thinks it's wrong? Ahhh.. you and your crazy cultures!
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: AlphaDog
Date: June 20, 2009 06:08PM
Quote
3d
Quote
kap
A few of our guests [take left-over food home] automatically. I personally don't see anything wrong with that; my S/O thinks so. Tho' we always ask our guests to take remainders of their potluck contributions home with them...

So you both tell your guests to take home leftover food even though your S/O thinks it's wrong? Ahhh.. you and your crazy cultures!

From what I read in the original post, the line of distinction is who provided the food. In the case of a potluck, they seem to agree the person who brought the dish should take their own leftovers home. In the case of food that was provided by the hosts (this whole thing is filled with unanswered questions if you probe too far), kap thinks it's OK for guests to automatically take leftovers, whereas his S/O does not.

The potential for cultural issues is still hanging out there, too, without having been addressed. It could also be cultural issues that are entering into the difference of opinion about gift giving.

Sometimes kap's threads become interesting not so much for what they do say but what they don't. smiling smiley
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: Grateful11
Date: June 20, 2009 06:11PM
I have relatives that never eat pizza crust edge but take it home to their dog.
I'm paying for that crust! Some pizza's the crust is as good or better than
the pizza.



Grateful11
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: kap
Date: June 21, 2009 02:03AM
Alpha,
Sorry to burst your bubble but there is no power struggle here. My post about gift giving to ungrateful relatives was simply to show some people don't deserve our time, energy, effort and our hard-earned money. Not because we were crying out for theirs in return. Purrrr-lease.

This post is about potluck left-over take-home. We host many such events with friends of various ethnicities hence cultures play an important role. My culture is to not over-eat and not to waste food. Therefore, every guest feels free to take whatever home. My S/O is all about tactfulness. She doesn't eat left over food. As for the wine, I was merely joking. It actually happened once. There was more wine than there were drinkers. The consensus was to open only a couple. Still, there was so much left; all the beers and bottled water were gone! I still have one unopened bottle of wine since that potluck.



SoCal for now.
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: Mac-A-Matic
Date: June 21, 2009 10:30AM
Seems to me that it's a cultural/socio-economic thing.

In my world, taking home excess food from a party is no big deal. In fact, it's encouraged. Maybe it comes from a lifetime of cultural norm or the fact that my family struggled in the early years and had to make ends meet - which would include leftovers.

Then there are American friends who grew up privileged that wouldn't even consider taking home unfinished restaurant food - never mind party leftovers or even leftovers of the meal they cooked that night. Whatever is uneaten is thrown away. I still don't understand this mentality and I think it comes from a lifetime of American Privilege because I've seen too many people taking it in the neck around the world to think that this happens rampantly outside of the United States.

Personally, I try not to create meals that will leave leftovers. To my mind, it's wasteful and shows disrespect for my ingredients. Also, I don't want to be stuck with a lot of leftovers. Sometimes I'll take leftovers from a party if I really like the food but usually I pass - mainly because I didn't like the food and/or don't want to be stuck with platefuls of desserts. One should only get so fat...
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: kap
Date: June 21, 2009 12:40PM
Quote
Mac-A-Matic
... it's wasteful and shows disrespect for my ingredients.

I like that!



SoCal for now.
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Re: Is it tacky to take the left-over food home?
Posted by: Speedy
Date: June 21, 2009 08:52PM
With my relatives there are never any leftovers.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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