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Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: March 26, 2020 11:43AM
I want to acknowledge that I'm not facing anything like the sick and their loved ones, the people working on the frontlines, and families facing job loss, kids at home from school.

I need to fly across the country to be back with my Mom. She has dementia and I'm becoming her primary caregiver. Right now she has a wonderful aid during the day and sleeps at my brothers' house at night. He is an exhausted and stressed family doctor who is sleeping in a sealed room at his office to protect his wife and kids.

Our plan was to have me self-quarantine alone for 14 days after the flight at mom's place on a sea island off Charleston. As of yesterday that beach town just passed an emergency ordinance that only owners named on deeds or property tax bills will be allowed onto the island. Children of owners have to be accompanied by the owner, regardless of their age. No exceptions, enforced with 24 hour police blockade. I called the police dept down there yesterday, they immediately found out I was calling from Seattle, were completely unhelpful and ended the call with "good luck, haha."

My aunt called the mayor of that town this morning. She says they have invoked "war powers" to keep the town of 700 permanent residents safe (10K in the summer).



OK. Also - American Airlines has been cancelling most of the flights to my destination this week so now I'm not sure the flight will even leave here.

I really want to help my Mom and my family be less stressed with caregiving though it now feels my presence might make things worse. The ironic thing is I've already isolated myself here for the past 2 weeks to make sure I wasn't taking illness onto the plane. I probably should have just gone ahead and left. Too late now.

My other relatives are all elderly, I really can't stay at any of their homes. Hotel seems germier than the plane, don't see how that would help with a safe quarantine.

Never could have dreamt this scenario.

Anyway if anyone read this thanks I'm kinda journaling here but it helps.
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: rjmacs
Date: March 26, 2020 11:55AM
Thanks for sharing this with the forum, LD. I'm sorry to hear that the trip, difficult enough already, has become more complicated with time. It's encouraging to hear stories of folks not just showing up or helping people, but struggling with the ambiguities, anxieties, and aggravations of the process!

Hearing you describe your brother and knowing of your dedication, it's hard not to wonder if this mother isn't somehow responsible for some caring and committed progeny. I hope you get to her safely and as soon as possible, and that you all stay safe in the interim.

Sending lucky and healthful thoughts your way!!



rj
AKA
Vreemac, Moth of the Future
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: March 26, 2020 11:57AM
Quote
rjmacs
Thanks for sharing this with the forum, LD. I'm sorry to hear that the trip, difficult enough already, has become more complicated with time. It's encouraging to hear stories of folks not just showing up or helping people, but struggling with the ambiguities, anxieties, and aggravations of the process!

Hearing you describe your brother and knowing of your dedication, it's hard not to wonder if this mother isn't somehow responsible for some caring and committed progeny. I hope you get to her safely and as soon as possible, and that you all stay safe in the interim.

Sending lucky and healthful thoughts your way!!

thank you for the kind thoughts rj.
Yes my Mom raised a good son and tried her best with the girl. :0
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: March 26, 2020 12:02PM
OK just got the text from American - flight cancelled.
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: mrbigstuff
Date: March 26, 2020 12:27PM
JetBlue seems to be the only carrier I see still flying. Maybe get to one of their airports?
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: rgG
Date: March 26, 2020 12:53PM
I don’t have any advice, but I am very sorry you and your family are in this difficult situation. sad smiley





Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Ted King
Date: March 26, 2020 01:01PM
Though I can't think of words to say that may help make things better for you, I will read your thoughts here and hope for the best for your family and you.
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: samintx
Date: March 26, 2020 02:36PM
I cared for a loved one with Alz for 7 years. Was an Ombudsman at nursing homes for 10. I know what you are going thru and my heart is with you. Dont lose yourself in caring for your mom even tho I know how much you love her. Save some space for yourself. Keep us posted and know members of the Forum are with you and your mom.emoticon_love sending all best wishes.
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: March 26, 2020 02:51PM
Quote
samintx
I cared for a loved one with Alz for 7 years. Was an Ombudsman at nursing homes for 10. I know what you are going thru and my heart is with you. Dont lose yourself in caring for your mom even tho I know how much you love her. Save some space for yourself. Keep us posted and know members of the Forum are with you and your mom.emoticon_love sending all best wishes.

Thanks so much sam, that's really kind of you. That feels like very good advice. I always appreciate your words of wisdom.
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: March 26, 2020 02:51PM
Quote
rgG
I don’t have any advice, but I am very sorry you and your family are in this difficult situation. sad smiley

Thank you!
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: March 26, 2020 02:52PM
Quote
Ted King
Though I can't think of words to say that may help make things better for you, I will read your thoughts here and hope for the best for your family and you.

Thank you Ted!
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: March 26, 2020 02:54PM
Quote
mrbigstuff
JetBlue seems to be the only carrier I see still flying. Maybe get to one of their airports?

Yep I'm investigating other options. The frustrating thing is that American, which is my best option, continues to schedule flights and sell tickets and then cancel 24 hours ahead. I'm traveling with my dog in the cabin, so I have to be careful with layovers. The nonstops were the best option but those seem to have disappeared for now.
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Ammo
Date: March 26, 2020 03:46PM
Good luck, Lemon Drop. I know that this is your mom you’re talking about, but it’s possible that there could be other consequences (to yourself and others) of traveling cross country right now that might offset the benefit of going to her. You are in a tough situation.



Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. —Wendy Mass

Until you make your unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. - Carl Jung
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: March 26, 2020 06:01PM
Quote
Ammo
Good luck, Lemon Drop. I know that this is your mom you’re talking about, but it’s possible that there could be other consequences (to yourself and others) of traveling cross country right now that might offset the benefit of going to her. You are in a tough situation.

Yes that's on my heart every day.
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Re: Love, family and travel in the time of coronavirus
Posted by: btfc
Date: March 26, 2020 09:03PM
Best wishes for you and your family! A friend in similar circumstances was looking into renting a camper.
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