Friday Funnies

[pRICE cUBE]

[NewtonMP2100]

.....why can't you trust atoms......???


[spoiler=answer]
....they make up everything.....
[/spoiler]

[Rick-o]

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

She gets so angry and opens her purse to take out the gun. But then, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "Don't do it honey".

The blonde yells back, "Shut up, you're next".

[Rick-o]

My wife left me because of my gambling addiction.

But I know I can win her back.

[lost in space]

A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey

When the barman serves it up, he takes it out to the bench in front of the bar to drink it.
As he's enjoying his drink, a nun walks by, and glares at him sourly. "How can you pollute your soul with the Devil's drink like that?" she asks.
The man shrugs. "It's not the Devil, it's just whiskey."
"But it's sinful and wicked!"
"How do you know it's so bad, then? Have you ever tasted whiskey?"
"Of course not! My sisters and mother superior told me how evil drink is."
"But how do they know? Have they ever had a drink?"
They go back and forth like this for a while, before at last, the nun relents. "Well, I suppose that if I were to try a sip of whiskey, I would better understand how it corrupts the soul. But it wouldn't do for any of my sisters to come by here and see me drinking. Could you order me one in a teacup?"
The man agrees this is fair, and walks inside to the barman.
"Two whiskeys, but put one in a teacup, please."
The barman slams his hand down on the bar and shouts, "Is that damn nun here again!?"

[DeusxMac]

[RAMd®d]

[spoiler=Cloaked, for your protection.]
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink from the busty blond bartender.

She serves him the drink and asks ‘Do you want anything to eat?’

He looks at the menu:

Hot dogs – $2
Cheeseburger - $5
Handjobs - $10

He looks at the bartender and asks ‘Are you the one who gives the handjobs?’

She replies with a smile and a wink ‘Yes, I am.’

‘Ok, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.’
[/spoiler]