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Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: September 27, 2011 12:13PM
With all the song lyrics posted here lately, I thought we might list some of our favorites. Charlie Daniels popped into my mind with Uneasy Rider.

They all started lookin real suspicious at him
And he jumped up and said "Now just wait a minute Jim!
You know he's lying I been living here all of my life!"

"I'm a faithful follower of Brother John Birch
And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church.
And I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"


smiling bouncing smiley

[www.azlyrics.com]

So lets hear some! Start naming names!!



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: bazookaman
Date: September 27, 2011 12:20PM
My daughter has been listening to this song over and over and over and over on her ipod. She heard it on the Phineas and Ferb cartoon...

You Snuck Your Way Right Into My Heart
I should've known
From how I felt
When we were together
And even more when we were apart
You tiptoed in
And you got under my skin
You snuck your way right into my heart


I put up barriers
To shield my emotions
A wall that you could never break apart
But like a ninja of love
Repelling down from above
You snuck your way right into my heart
Oh yeah







Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2011 12:20PM by bazookaman.
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: dad@home
Date: September 27, 2011 12:23PM
Sung by Bobby Bare
Words and music by Paul Craft.


Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Make me, oh make me, Lord more than I am
Make me a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I’ve got the will, Lord if you’ve got the toe.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Take all the brothers who’ve gone on before
And all of the sisters who’ve knocked on your door
All the departed dear loved ones of mine
Stick’em up front in the offensive line.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Yeah, Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: $tevie
Date: September 27, 2011 12:27PM
My dad used to sing this to us:

Sweet Rosie O'Grady
She was a blacksmith by birth.
Rosie got tired of living
And decided to leave this earth.
She swallowed a ruler,
But dying by inches was hard.
So Rosie went down to the alley
And
Lay down and died by the yard.




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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: bazookaman
Date: September 27, 2011 12:29PM
Of course this is one of my favorites...
Tim Wilson rules!

I got combat training from overseas
Now I'm the bouncer at the Chucky Cheese
I think I'd rather do a year in jail
Than another afternoon
In Chucky Cheese Hell

Chucky Cheese Hell
I'm in Chucky CHEEEEEEESE HELL!
We cater to a snot nose clientele
In Chucky Cheese Hell

Mama drives Chipper to the Chucky Mall
Watches him waller in some plastic balls
The band sucks and the pizza's cold
And you eat it with a slobberin' four year old
In Chucky Cheese Hell

Puke with pepperoni still smells the same
You waste a paycheck on a video game
Lined up out the door like The Stones are in town
There ain't enough Chucky ass whippin's
To go round

In Chucky Cheese Hell
I'm in Chucky CHEEEEEEEESE HELL!
Squallin' youngins and a skee ball bell
In Chucky Cheese Hell

I did two tours of duty in Vietnam
Fightin' jungle rot and braving napalm
But they couldn't torture me half as well
As them little birthday $@*#*@*$!
In Chucky Cheese Hell



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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: Black
Date: September 27, 2011 12:34PM
Momma's got a squeeze box she wears on her chest . . .




New forum user map 8/2015: [www.zeemaps.com]
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: MEG
Date: September 27, 2011 12:43PM
The Old 97's always seem to have a great sense of humor. This one's a recent song:

Old 97's: Champaign, Illinois

The bottom line's been snorted
The bottom card's been dealt
No one knows like you know right now
How truly bad it felt

All your life you wasted
On dreamin' about the day
Worker bees kill off their queen
And carry all her eggs away

Oh, then if you die fearin' God
And painfully employed
No, you will not go to Heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois

Up north in Chicago
Where booze makes no one blush
Memories come back to you
In a double Bourbon rush

Memories that aren't all bad
And neither, my friend, are you
There is an argument there must be some Heaven meant
For hearts that are half true

Oh, and if you spend your whole life
Rollin' horses into Troy
No, you will not go to heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
No, you will not go to heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois

Roll on blacktop highway
Circles towards the sun
Springfield's in the distance
And that's the last big one

After that comes judgment
Oh, and judgment will be swift
You will be eliminated
But here's a parting gift

Oh, if you die fearin' God
And painfully employed
No, you will not go to Heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
No, you will not go to heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois

No, you will not go to heaven
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: Black
Date: September 27, 2011 12:44PM
Dead skunk in the middle of the road . . .




New forum user map 8/2015: [www.zeemaps.com]
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: Black
Date: September 27, 2011 12:46PM
The last line is a little funny:

Drive-by Truckers
Plastic Flowers On The Highway lyrics
He was ready for the big trip, he was moving to the city; he had packed his prize possessions and gave away the rest. He was almost doing ninety, the sky was blue, sun was shining. All the @#$%&, he left behind for the big world waiting there. He was almost out of Leighton, when that phone truck didn't see him. Hit the brake and slided sideways, he never had a chance.

Plastic flowers on the highway. Bits of glass for the machine to sweep away.
Had to pass it on my way to where I'z going. For the next few minutes, I drove a little slower.
[ Lyrics from: [www.lyricsmode.com] ]
Them, M.A.D.D. mothers couldn't help him. He was sober, it was Sunday. He was full of good home cooking when he crashed the savior's door.

Plastic flowers on the highway. A greasy spot on the asphalt for a while.
Every morning, new babies being born, who'll do the best they can to hang around a little while.

My community service had me working for the county
Cutting grass on the off-ramps and medians and such.
Every quarter mile or so, stands a brand new reminder
Another traffic death in town. Something new to cut around.
Crashed out on the highway. Plastic cross and a plastic bouquet.
Paramedics in the by-stander's gaze.

Plastic flowers on the highway. Bits of glass for the machine to sweep away.
Had to pass it on my way to where I'z going.
For the next few minutes I drove a little slower.





New forum user map 8/2015: [www.zeemaps.com]
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: michaelb
Date: September 27, 2011 12:52PM
I have always preferred snippets of lyrics. Unless you are Bob Dylan, it is hard to pull off sustained greatness even for a song. But Chuck D does pretty well too:

Back
Caught you lookin' for the same thing
It's a new thing - check out this I bring
Uh Oh the roll below the level
'Cause I'm livin' low next to the bass, C'mon
Turn up the radio
They claim that I'm a criminal
By now I wonder how
Some people never know
The enemy could be their friend, guardian
I'm not a hooligan
I rock the party and
Clear all the madness, I'm not a racist
Preach to teach to all
'Cause some they never had this
Number one, not born to run
About the gun...
I wasn't licensed to have one
The minute they see me, fear me
I'm the epitome - a public enemy
Used, abused without clues
I refused to blow a fuse
They even had it on the news
Don't believe the hype...

Yes
Was the start of my last jam
So here it is again, another def jam
But since I gave you all a little something
That we knew you lacked
They still consider me a new jack
All the critics you can hang'em
I'll hold the rope
But they hope to the pope
And pray it ain't dope
The follower of Farrakhan
Don't tell me that you understand
Until you hear the man
The book of the new school rap game
Writers treat me like Coltrane, insane
Yes to them, but to me I'm a different kind
We're brothers of the same mind, unblind
Caught in the middle and
Not surrenderin'
I don't rhyme for the sake of of riddlin'
Some claim that I'm a smuggler
Some say I never heard of 'ya
A rap burgler, false media
We don't need it do we?
It's fake that's what it be to 'ya, dig me?
Don't believe the hype...

Don't believe the hype - its a sequel
As an equal, can I get this through to you
My 98's boomin' with a trunk of funk
All the jealous punks can't stop the dunk
Comin' from the school of hard knocks
Some perpetrate, they drink Clorox
Attack the black, cause I know they lack exact
The cold facts, and still they try to Xerox
Leader of the new school, uncool
Never played the fool, just made the rules
Remember there's a need to get alarmed
Again I said I was a timebomb
In the daytime the radio's scared of me
'Cause I'm mad, plus I'm the enemy
They can't c'mon and play with me in primetime
'Cause I know the time, plus I'm gettin' mine
I get on the mix late in the night
They know I'm livin' right, so here go the mike, sike
Before I let it go, don't rush my show
You try to reach and grab and get elbowed
Word to herb, yo if you can't swing this
Just a little bit of the taste of the bass for you
As you get up and dance at the LQ
When some deny it, defy if I swing bolos
Then they clear the lane I go solo
The meaning of all of that
Some media is the whack
You believe it's true, it blows me through the roof
Suckers, liars get me a shovel
Some writers I know are damn devils
For them I say don't believe the hype
Yo Chuck, they must be on a pipe, right?
Their pens and pads I'll snatch
'Cause I've had it
I'm not an addict fiendin' for static
I'll see their tape recoreder and grab it
No, you can't have it back silly rabbit
I'm going' to my media assassin
Harry Allen, I gotta ask him
Yo Harry, you're a writer, are we that type?
Don't believe the hype
I got flavor and all those things you know
Yeah boy, part two bum rush and show
Yo Griff, get the green black red and
Gold down countdown to Armageddon
-88 you wait the S1Ws will
Rock the hard jams - treat it like a seminar
Teach the bourgeoise, and rock the boulevard
Some sau I'm negative
But they're not positive
But what I got to give...
The media says this
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: N-OS X-tasy!
Date: September 27, 2011 12:55PM
An old favorite:

My pappy said "Son, you're gonna drive me to drinkin',
if you don't stop drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln."

Have you heard the story of the hot rod race,
where the Fords 'n' Lincolns were settin' the pace?
That story is true, I'm here to say,
that I was drivin' that Model-A.

It's got a Lincoln motor and it's really souped up,
that Model-A body makes it look like a pup.
It's got eight cylinders and uses 'em all,
got overdrive that just won't stall.

With a four-barrel carb and a dual exhaust,
with 4-11 gears you can really get lost.
Got safety tubes but I ain't scared,
the brakes are good, tires fair.

Pulled outta San Pedro late one night,
the moon 'n' the stars was shinin' bright.
We was drivin' up Grapevine hill,
passin' cars like they was standin' still.

All of a sudden in the wink of an eye,
Cadillac sedan passed us by.
I said "Boys that's the mark for me,"
by then the tailight was all you could see.

Now the fellas ribbed me for bein' behind,
so I thought I'd make the Lincoln unwind.
Took my foot off the gas'n'man alive,
I shoved it on down into overdrive.

Wound it up to a hunderd an' ten,
my speedometer said that I hit top end.
My foot was glued like lead to the floor,
that's all there is an' there ain't no more.

Now the boys all thought I'd lost my sense,
them telephone poles looked like a picket fence.
They said "slow down, I see spots,"
the lines on the road just looked like dots.

Took a corner'n'side-swiped a truck,
crossed my fingers just for luck.
My fenders was clickin' the guardrail posts,
the guy beside me was white as a ghost.

Smoke was comin' from outta the back,
when started t' gain on that Cacillac.
Knew I could catch him, I thought I could pass,
don'tcha by then we'd be low on gas.

We had flames comin' from outta the side,
you could feel the tension, man whatta ride.
I said "look out boys, I got a license to fly,"
and that Caddy pulled over and let us by.

Now all of a sudden she started knockin'
down in the dip she started to rockin'
And I looked in the mirror, a red light was blinkin',
the cops was after my hot rod Lincoln.

They arrested me 'n' they put me in jail,
'n they called my pappy to throw my bail,
'n he said "son you're gonna drive me ta drinkin'
if you don't stop drivin' that hot rod Lincoln.




It is what it is.
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: billb
Date: September 27, 2011 12:56PM
jello biafra

don't want to get this thread tossed to the other side, though



The Phorum Wall keeps us safe from illegal characters and words
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is the knowledge of one's own ignorance. -Benjamin Franklin
BOYCOTT YOPLAIT [www.noyoplait.com]
[soundcloud.com]
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: michaelb
Date: September 27, 2011 12:56PM
Quote
michaelb
I have always preferred snippets of lyrics. Unless you are Bob Dylan, it is hard to pull off sustained greatness even for a song. But Chuck D does pretty well too:

Back
Caught you lookin' for the same thing
It's a new thing - check out this I bring
Uh Oh the roll below the level
'Cause I'm livin' low next to the bass, C'mon
Turn up the radio
They claim that I'm a criminal
By now I wonder how
Some people never know
The enemy could be their friend, guardian
I'm not a hooligan
I rock the party and
Clear all the madness, I'm not a racist
Preach to teach to all
'Cause some they never had this
Number one, not born to run
About the gun...
I wasn't licensed to have one
The minute they see me, fear me
I'm the epitome - a public enemy
Used, abused without clues
I refused to blow a fuse
They even had it on the news
Don't believe the hype...

Yes
Was the start of my last jam
So here it is again, another def jam
But since I gave you all a little something
That we knew you lacked
They still consider me a new jack
All the critics you can hang'em
I'll hold the rope
But they hope to the pope
And pray it ain't dope
The follower of Farrakhan
Don't tell me that you understand
Until you hear the man
The book of the new school rap game
Writers treat me like Coltrane, insane
Yes to them, but to me I'm a different kind
We're brothers of the same mind, unblind
Caught in the middle and
Not surrenderin'
I don't rhyme for the sake of of riddlin'
Some claim that I'm a smuggler
Some say I never heard of 'ya
A rap burgler, false media
We don't need it do we?
It's fake that's what it be to 'ya, dig me?
Don't believe the hype...

Don't believe the hype - its a sequel
As an equal, can I get this through to you
My 98's boomin' with a trunk of funk
All the jealous punks can't stop the dunk
Comin' from the school of hard knocks
Some perpetrate, they drink Clorox
Attack the black, cause I know they lack exact
The cold facts, and still they try to Xerox
Leader of the new school, uncool
Never played the fool, just made the rules
Remember there's a need to get alarmed
Again I said I was a timebomb
In the daytime the radio's scared of me
'Cause I'm mad, plus I'm the enemy
They can't c'mon and play with me in primetime
'Cause I know the time, plus I'm gettin' mine
I get on the mix late in the night
They know I'm livin' right, so here go the mike, sike
Before I let it go, don't rush my show
You try to reach and grab and get elbowed
Word to herb, yo if you can't swing this
Just a little bit of the taste of the bass for you
As you get up and dance at the LQ
When some deny it, defy if I swing bolos
Then they clear the lane I go solo
The meaning of all of that
Some media is the whack
You believe it's true, it blows me through the roof
Suckers, liars get me a shovel
Some writers I know are damn devils
For them I say don't believe the hype
Yo Chuck, they must be on a pipe, right?
Their pens and pads I'll snatch
'Cause I've had it
I'm not an addict fiendin' for static
I'll see their tape recoreder and grab it
No, you can't have it back silly rabbit
I'm going' to my media assassin
Harry Allen, I gotta ask him
Yo Harry, you're a writer, are we that type?
Don't believe the hype
I got flavor and all those things you know
Yeah boy, part two bum rush and show
Yo Griff, get the green black red and
Gold down countdown to Armageddon
-88 you wait the S1Ws will
Rock the hard jams - treat it like a seminar
Teach the bourgeoise, and rock the boulevard
Some sau I'm negative
But they're not positive
But what I got to give...
The media says this

I forgot to say that for some reason these lyrics still crack me up:

"about the gun...I wasn't licensed to have one"

and

"my 98s booming with a trunk of funk,
all the jealous punks can't stop the dunk"

I can't really explain why.
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: decay
Date: September 27, 2011 12:58PM
Wilson Pickett
Land of 1000 Dances

1-2-3
1-2-3
Ow! Uh! Alright! Uh!

Got to know how to pony
Like Bony Maronie
Mash potato, do the alligator
Put your hand on your hips, yeah
Let your backbone slip
Do the Watusi
Like my little Lucy
Hey! Uh!

Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na
I need somebody to help me say it one time
(Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na)
Wo--ow!

[Saxophone solo]

Wow! Uh! You know I feel alright! Huh! I feel pretty good y'all
Uh! Huh!
Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na
Come on y'all, let's say it one more time
(Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na)
Ooow!

Playing, it is a habit
With long tall Sally
Twistin' with Lucy
Doin' the Watusi
Roll over on your back
I like it like that
Do that Jerk-uh
Watch me work y'all
Ow! Do it!
Wow! Do it!
Just watch me do it

Aah help me
Aah help me
Aah help me
Aah help me




---
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: mrthuse
Date: September 27, 2011 01:02PM
Josefina, Please No Lean-a On The Bell

Verse 1: Josephine and Joe were so in love,
Oh, so in love, so much in love.
In the hall for hours they would stay.
When Josephine came in, she’d hear her mother say:

Refrain 1: Josefina, please no lean-a on the bell.
When you moosh, please no poosh on the bell.
I heard Missus Caruso telling Missus O’Flynn,
Somebody keeps ringing, but nobody comes in.
You can squeeze all you please, that’s all right.
But don’t keep us from sleep ev’ry night.
When you kiss in the hall, stay away from the wall.
Josefina, please no lean-a on the bell.

Patter 1: When you come-a from work and you want-a the sup’,
I’m-a cook-a the nice macaron’.
Then you make-a sit down, then you make the get up
For your feller he call on the phone.
You go to the park and you sit in the dark,
And you make what they call-a the pet.
It’s a lip-a-stick here and a lip-a-stick there,
You no get it from eatin’ spaghett’!

Patter 2: You-a say-a good night about ’leven o’clock,
That’s-a what a good gal-a should do.
But you take-a too long when you say the good night.
You no finish till half-a past two.
Say why you no bring-a your feller upstairs?
Ravioli with peppers I cook.
You can make-a the love with the kiss and the hug,
And the mom and the pop they no look.

Patter 3: Don’t I bring-a you up and I make-a you fat,
With the soup and the pasta fazool?
Now you stay up-a late and it make-a you thin.
What’s-a matter you make-a me fool?
Why you no get marriage and raise-a the fam’?
Then I make-a you promise I keep:
I’ll buy you the furnish’ and pay for your rent.
Then we all-a can get-a the sleep.

Chorus 2: Josefina, please no lean-a on the bell.
When you moosh, please no poosh on the bell.
I heard Missus Calingo say she’d call the police.
The landlord he say he’s gonna break-a the lease.
Hold the hand, that’s-a grand and delish.
Tell this guy I guess I no capish.
You eat garlic so strong, how can he kiss so long?
Josefina, please no lean-a on the bell.
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: troywellbuilt
Date: September 27, 2011 01:09PM
from Nick Lowe's "Switchbox Susan"...

When I'm with you, girl, I get an extension
And I don't mean Alexander Graham Bell's invention

Switchbox Susan, can we be friends
After 6 and weekends
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: decay
Date: September 27, 2011 01:14PM
joe dolce
shaddap you face

'Allo
I'm-a Giuseppe

I got-a something special-a for you
Ready?
Uno
Duo
Tre
Quatro!
When I was a boy
Just abouth the eightth-a grade

Mama used to say: "Don't stay out-a late
With the bad-a boys
Always shoot-a pool

Giuseppe going to flunk-a school!"
Boy
It make-a me sick
All the t'ing I gotta do

I can't-a get-a no kicks
Always got to follow rules

Boy
It make-a me sick
Just to make-a lousy bucks

Got to feel-a like a fool

And-a mama used to say all-a time:
What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect

What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad?
It's-a not so bad
It's-a nice-a place

Ah
Shaddap-a you face!
That's-a my mama. I can remember!
Big accordion solo!
Ah ! Play dat again! Really nice
Really nice!
Soon-a come-a day
Gonna be a big-a star
Den I make-a T.V. shows and-a movies

Get-a myself a new car
But still I be myself

I don't want-a to change a t'ing

Still a-dance and a-sing

t'ing about-a mama
She used to say:
What's-a matter you? Hey! . . .
Mama
She said it all-a da time!
What's-a matter you? Hey!
Gotta no respect
. . .
That's-a my mama!

Hello
Everybody!
'At's out-a dere in-a radio and-a T.V. land

Aid you know I had a big-a hit-a song in-a Italy with-a disc?
Shaddap-a you face,
I sing-a dis-a song
All-a my fans applaud

Dey clap-a da hands
Dat-a make me feel-a so good;
You ought to learn-a dis-a song
It's-a real-a simple -
See
I sing: "What's-a matter you?" You sing: "Hey!"
Den I sing-a da rest
And den at de end
We can all-a sing:
Ah, Shaddap-a you face!
0.k.
Let's-a try it
Really big -
Uno
Duo
Tre
Quatro!



---
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: Fritz
Date: September 27, 2011 01:24PM
Oh,baby, baby, can we stay up all night,
We can argue, we can even start a fight,
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: September 27, 2011 01:24PM
You're breakin' my heart
You're tearin' it apart
So @#$%& you
All I want to do
Is have a good time
Now I'm blue
You wanna boogaloo
Run down to Tramps
Have a dance or two--ooh!
You're breaking my heart
You're tearin' it apart
But @#$%& you
You're breakin' my heart
You're tearin' it apart

Ooh!--ooh!--

You stepped on my ass
You're breaking my glasses too
You wanna drive my car
Buy a lot of stuff
I've had enough
Of you--ooh!
I'm goin' insane
There's no one to blame
So @#$%& you
You've gotta have your way
There's nothin' left to say
There's nothin' left to do--ooh!
You're breakin' my heart
You're tearin' it apart
So @#$%& you

You've gotta have your way
There's nothin' left to say
There's nothin' left to do--ooh!
You're breakin' my heart
You're tearin' it apart
But I love you
(Do-do-doots)
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: (vikm)
Date: September 27, 2011 02:39PM
If you've a dry, twisted sense of humor, pretty much the majority of Smiths songs will suffice:

The Queen Is Dead

Farewell to this land's cheerless marches
Hemmed in like a boar between arches
Her very Lowness with her head in a sling
I'm truly sorry but it sounds like a wonderful thing

I say Charles don't you ever crave
To appear on the front of the Daily Mail
Dressed in your Mother's bridal veil?

And so I checked all the registered historical facts
And I was shocked into shame to discover
How I'm the 18th pale descendent
Of some old queen or other

Oh has the world changed, or have I changed?
Oh has the world changed, or have I changed?
Some nine year old tough who peddles drugs
I swear to God, I swear I never even knew what drugs were

So I broke into the Palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said: "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
I said: "that's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry
And talk about precious things
But when you are tied to your mother's apron
No-one talks about castration

We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry
And talk about precious things
Like love and law and poverty
These are the things that kill me

We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry
And talk about precious things
But the rain that flattens my hair
These are the things that kill me

Passed the pub that saps your body
And the church who'll snatch your money
The Queen is dead, boys
And it's so lonely on a limb

Pass the pub that wrecks your body
And the church, all they want is your money
The Queen is dead, boys
And it's so lonely on a limb

Life is very long, when you're lonely
Life is very long, when you're lonely
Life is very long, when you're lonely
Life is very long, when you're lonely
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: TheCaber
Date: September 27, 2011 03:05PM
Oldies But Goodies::

The Fugs: Dirty Old Man
John Prine: Dear Abby
Janis Joplin (Big Brother & The Holding Company): Oh, Lord, Won't You Buy Me A Mercedes-Benz?
Country Joe & The Fish: Fixin' To Die Rag
Jamie Brockett: The Ballad of The Titanic
Alan Sherman: Hello Mudda
Tom Lehrer: Pollution
The Smothers Brothers: I See By Your Outfit
Arlo Guthrie: Alice's Restaurant


8)



=TC
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: Dennis S
Date: September 27, 2011 04:43PM
Leopard Skin Pillbox Hat
by Bob Dylan


Well, I see you got your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat
Yes, I see you got your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat
Well, you must tell me, baby
How your head feels under somethin' like that
Under your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat.

Well, you look so pretty in it
Honey, can I jump on it sometime ?
Yes, I just wanna see
If it's really that expensive kind
You know it balances on your head
Just like a mattress balances
On a bottle of wine
Your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat.

Well, if you wanna see the sun rise
Honey, I know where
We'll go out and see it sometime
We'll both just sit there and stare
Me with my belt
Wrapped around my head
And you just sittin' there
In you brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat.

Well, I asked the doctor if I could see you
It's bad for your health, he said
Yes, I disobeyed his orders
I came to see you
But I found him there instead
You know, I don't mind him cheatin' on me
But I sure wish he'd take that off his head
Your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat.

Well, I see you got a new boyfriend
You know, I never seen him before
Well, I saw him
Makin' love to you
You forgot to close the garage door
You might think he loves you for your money
But I know what he really loves you for
It's your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat.
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: rankandfile
Date: September 27, 2011 05:36PM
We fired our cannon
'til the barrel melted down.
So we grabbed an alligator,
And we fought another round.

We filled his head with cannonballs
And powdered his behind.
When we set the powder off,
The gator lost his mind.



Perfect. They don't write 'em like they usta. old fogey smiley



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2011 05:37PM by rankandfile.
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: September 27, 2011 08:06PM
Heh! Those are great! Thanks for the laughs.

How about another moldy oldie from my generation? Don't know if some of you youngsters know Dr. Hook...

"The Cover Of The Rolling Stone"

[Talking]
Ha ha ha, I don't believe it
Da, da, ah, ah don't touch it
Hey, Ray, hey, Sugar, tell them who we are...

Well, we're big rock singers
We got golden fingers
And we're loved everywhere we go...(That sounds like us)
We sing about beauty and we sing about truth
At ten thousand dollars a show...(Right)
We take all kinds of pills that give us all kind of thrills
But the thrill we've never known
Is the thrill that'll getcha when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone

(Rollin' Stone...) Wanna see my picture on the cover
(Stone...) Wanna buy five copies for my mother...(Yes)
(Stone...) Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone...(That's a very very good idea)

I got a freaky ole lady name a cocaine Katy
Who embroiders on my jeans
I got my poor ole grey haired daddy
Drivin' my limousine
Now it's all decided to blow our minds
But our minds won't really be blown
Like the blow that'll gitcha when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone

(Rollin' Stone...) Wanna see our pictures on the cover
(Stone...) Wanna buy five copies for our mothers...(Yeah)
(Stone...) Wanna see my smilin face
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone

[Talking]
Hey, I know how
Rock and roll...

[Instrumental]

Ah, that's beautiful

We got a lot of little teenage blue eyed groupies
Who do anything we say
We got a genu-wine Indian Guru
Who's teaching us a better way
We got all the friends that money can buy
So we never have to be alone
And we keep gettin' richer but we can't get our picture
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone

(Rollin' Stone...) Wanna see my picture on the cover
(Stone...) Wanna buy five copies for my mother...(Wa wa)
(Stone...) Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone
On the cover of the Rollin'...
(Stone...) Wanna see my picture on the cover

[Talking]
I don't know why we ain't on the cover, baby...

(Stone...) Wanna buy five copies for my mother

[Talking]
We're beautiful subjects...

(Stone...) Wanna see my smilin' face

[Talking]
I ain't kiddin', we would make a beautiful cover...

On the cover of the Rollin' Stone...

[Talking]
Fresh shot, right up front, man...
I can see it now, we'll be up in the front...
Smilin', man...
Ahh, beautiful...



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: TheCaber
Date: September 27, 2011 08:49PM
Dire Straits: Money For Nothing

Any track on the Car Talk Car Tunes CD!
Under the Wrench
    Red Meat
Car and Driver
    Bill Morrissey
Horizon 
    The Arrogant Worms
Peugeot
    Peter Lehndorff
Twenty Naked Pentecostals in a Pontiac
    Cornerstone
It's a Rental
    Rik Roberts
Grandpa's Advice
    Adie Grey
King of Junk
    Eddy Lawrence
Push My Car
    Weatherheads
Loose Wheel
    Simply Weasels
Singin' in My Car
    Daniel Lower and the Bloodbrothers
Duct Tape Madrigal in Cmaj
    Lou Nathanson
Auto Service Hell
    Eric "Two Scoops" Moore
Massachusetts
    Greg Greenway
Slow in the Left Lane
    Betsy in the Gene Pool
Cab on Fire
    Dork Side of the Tune
You Can't Get There from Here in Jersey
    Jason Didner
My Bloody Yugo
    The Legendary Jim Ruiz Group



=TC



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2011 09:03PM by TheCaber.
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Re: Name Some Humorous Song Lyrics
Posted by: Dennis S
Date: September 27, 2011 09:33PM
I saw Bobby Bare the other night and he was full of them.
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