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Update on my dad
Posted by: CJsNvrUrly
Date: June 25, 2006 02:34PM
There's been no change in his condition, but based on the information I was given, I haven't expected any. My sister and I opposed a feeding tube or any other life "saving" measures, but our oldest sister in Florida gets to make the decisions, overrode us, and had one put in (albeit a "temporary" one). I said my goodbyes and came home. I don't really know what else to do.

For those of you who don't know, my dad fell early Father's Day morning and suffered a major brain bleed in three areas. He had some kind of a stroke (not the clot kind, the bleed kind), too, but they cannot determine if the stroke caused the fall or vice versa. He had brain surgery to evacuate the blood, but has been unconcious since. Not good.

I appreciate your kind words, thoughts, and prayers.




bunny smileyCentral VA
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: AlphaDog
Date: June 25, 2006 02:38PM
I'm extremely sorry to hear about your dad - I had somehow missed it. I am also sorry the family can't operate as one mind on the "proper" way to proceed; that just makes it harder on everyone. Hang in there.
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: Golfer
Date: June 25, 2006 02:49PM
I'm very sorry to hear about your dad's fall and subsequent problems. You and your family will be in our hearts and in our prayers.
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: billb
Date: June 25, 2006 03:21PM
Sorry to hear ...

Lost my Dad 2 years ago the same way.
Suddenly, unexpectedly. Massive brain bleed/stroke.
All us three boys were out of the country on vacations.
Got the call. Made plane flights to get back home, in 12 hours got the next call not to bother coming home early. Just be home for the funeral.
He was only in the hospital for two days. Over quick. We hope and there were no signs of any suffering.

He had great kids and got to do and see all the things he wanted to do and see. (with lots of prodding from all of us/ no sense dreaming from a wheel chair)

I hope your dad lived a full life. Putting nothing off.
I'm sure he will live on in the hearts of those he will be leaving behind.
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: dmann
Date: June 25, 2006 03:36PM
I am so sorry you are facing this CJ. The difficulty of the situation is bad enough- the decisions being made by your oldest sister can only be making things harder.

You and your family are in my thoughts-
DM
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: blooz
Date: June 25, 2006 03:49PM
You're in a tough spot, and I'm sure we all feel for you. I know I do. Sounds like you made a good choice; much as we hate to admit it life has to go on in the face of tragedy.
Keep and treasure the fond memories and let them be your strength in the days ahead.



And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
Western Massachusetts



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/25/2006 03:50PM by blooz.
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: Phy
Date: June 25, 2006 03:55PM
CJ, I am so darned sorry!

Y'know, this should be a call to all to make sure that we have end-of-life directives, living wills or whatever will make our wishes known to our survivors.
Personally-- I have a end-of-life directive, have discussed it with all 4 of my kids and have a clause in my will that automatically excludes any one in the family who opposes my directive and tries to put me on life support when there is not a chance of quality life remaining.

A couple sites to help:
[www.helpguide.org]
[www.compassionandchoices.org]-
[www.legalzoom.com]

Nonetheless, it's a wrenching time for CJ-- and my prayers are with her.
Phy
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: onthedownlow
Date: June 25, 2006 03:55PM
Sorry to hear about your father...

A close (favorite) aunt of mine just passed away an hour or so ago. Had my goodbyes on Friday evening. Cancer. Great woman. Any prayers for Lillian would be appreciated.



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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: rgG
Date: June 25, 2006 03:58PM
Thanks for the update, CJ. I'm sorry that the news isn't better. This is no doubt a tough time for you and your family. I really don't know what to say, except that I am very sorry you are having to go through this. Take care of yourself.
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: kanesa
Date: June 25, 2006 05:12PM
I'm so sorry, CJ. I hope for the best for your family. Love lives forever.
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: incognegro
Date: June 25, 2006 09:48PM
Best wishes & postive thoughts to you and your family, CJ.
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: Don C
Date: June 26, 2006 01:36AM
Just to add my condolences to the turmoil pain that you are going through right now. I have a friend here whose Dad is going through the same problems.

As for sis, remember to be in control of those things over which you have control and try not to be too distressed over those thing over which you do not have control. We'll assume that your sister has his best interests at heart. You disagree about that. The trouble with "pulling the plug" is that it is an irreversible decision and sis might not have the confidence or emotional capacity to make that final decision.

Our thoughts are with you!
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: Spiff
Date: June 26, 2006 06:37AM
Sorry to hear that things are still difficult (I read the previous thread). Don C has the right of it. And, take care of yourself. You are of no use to the rest of the family or your family if you get run down and cannot function.

Yes, it would be nice if the family could think as one. However, if your sister is the POA, then there's not much you can do.

Keep us posted, we're all thinking of you and pulling for your dad.
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: SteveJobs
Date: June 26, 2006 08:47AM
Keep your hopes and prayers up. My dad made it through many, many major health ailments.



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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: $tevie
Date: June 26, 2006 09:45AM
Thank you for the update, CJ. I pray that everything will work out for the best for your dad, even if we may not understand the "why" of it, and that you find some comfort in knowing we are thinking of you and your father.
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Re: Update on my dad
Posted by: enrico7300
Date: June 26, 2006 08:23PM
Sorry about your dad...my dad had a stroke last year, and although he has since recovered, his dementia seems to have been amplified. I wish I had seen the signs earlier...we were hit with a HUGE public information campaign in my area about how to spot symptoms just a week after it happened, too.:

[accessible.ninds.nih.gov]

My father had no such living will or establishment of conservatorship. We have instead been forced to declare him incompetent to manage his own affairs, and have my sister serve as conservator (for his debts, mostly). if any of you have parents that are getting on in years...please, PLEASE make sure they get this paperwork in order!

E
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