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Saturday morning puns
Posted by: Numo
Date: October 15, 2011 09:14AM
There was a painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. 

As it happened, he got away with this for some time. Eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.

Smokey put in a bid; and because his price was so low, he got the job. 

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, thinning it down with turpentine. 

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down, washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint
.
Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried, 
"Oh, God, Oh, God, forgive me.  What should I do?" 

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke, "Repaint and thin no more!" 



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/15/2011 10:00AM by Ammo.
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Re: Saturday morning pun
Posted by: TheCaber
Date: October 15, 2011 09:33AM
smiling smiley



=TC
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Re: Saturday morning pun
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: October 15, 2011 09:59AM
thumbs up



In tha 360. MRF User Map
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Re: Saturday morning pun
Posted by: Numo
Date: October 15, 2011 09:59AM
One more groaner that I forgot:

Roy Rogers and his wife Dale finally retired from show business and moved to a small ranch in the mountains. Roy still loved to play the role of cowboy and was particularly proud of his western wardrobe. One day he went into town and bought a very beautiful and expensive new pair of boots. That evening, he took them out on the porch to wax and polish. When he was finished, he set them down to dry overnight. 

But when he got up the next morning, they were missing! Surrounding the spot where they had been were the unmistakable paw prints of a mountain lion. Enraged, Roy thundered, "Any cowboy who brings that cat into camp gets a hundred dollar bonus!" The extra hands scrambled to saddle up their horses, because in those days, a hundred dollars was a whole lot of money. A week passed, and none of the cowboys had returned. Finally, just when Roy had begun to give up hope, a cowboy on his horse trotted into the yard with a dead mountain lion draped over his saddle. Roy rushed out of the cabin to greet him, and the cowboy said, “Pardon me, Roy, but is this the cat who chewed your new shoes?”
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Re: Saturday morning puns
Posted by: RAMd®d
Date: October 15, 2011 12:35PM
Both cracked me up, the last one took me a few seconds and then really cracked me up!






I am that Masked Man.

All you can do, is all you can do.

There’s trouble — it's time to play the sound of my people.

Your boos mean nothing to me, I've seen what you cheer for.

Insisting on your rights without acknowledging your responsibilities isn’t freedom, it’s adolescence.

I've been to the edge of the map, and there be monsters.

We are a government of laws, not men.

Everybody counts or nobody counts.

When a good man is hurt,
all who would be called good
must suffer with him.

You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

There is no safety for honest men except
by believing all possible evil of evil men.

We don’t do focus groups. They just ensure that you don’t offend anyone, and produce bland inoffensive products. —Sir Jonathan Ive

An armed society is a polite society.
And hope is a lousy defense.

You make me pull, I'll put you down.

I *love* SIGs. It's Glocks I hate.
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Re: Saturday morning pun
Posted by: Tofer
Date: October 15, 2011 12:54PM
Quote
Ammo
One more groaner that I forgot:

Roy Rogers and his wife Dale ...

This was my dad's favorite joke. I remember it as a kid, and I also remember him having to sing me the Chattanooga Choo-choo song as well, because I didn't get it (btw, the best rendition has the last line of the joke sung to the correct tune.)
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Re: Saturday morning puns
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: October 15, 2011 01:57PM
You have to be old enough to have had a parent around when those songs were popular.



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Re: Saturday morning puns
Posted by: RgrF
Date: October 16, 2011 04:14AM
This calls for Pops.
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