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Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: h'
Date: July 02, 2006 02:43PM
I've got a kook sending me unwanted hostile messages via their Yahoo! mail despite my request for no further contact.
I don't see any way to report this on the Yahoo! site.
Is there a way to do so? Is there a chance in hell Yahoo! would respond in any way, even if only with a warning to that user (which is really all that I want)?
Thx . . .



I suffer from the same sensitivity that you do. A few nuggets of wisdom were shared with me and I'm "trying" to incorporate them into my life. First, remember that nobody can hurt your feelings unless you let them. You can always reject what is being forced on you emotionally.
Second, nothing changes unless you change it. If you don't want the behavior to be repeated then you need to take action. Otherwise the kid has learned that his behavior is the way to get things done, because everyone lets him get away with it.
In the meantime I sympathize because I've been there.
-beerman



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2006 02:52PM by h'.
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: Carm
Date: July 02, 2006 02:46PM
[search2.cc.scd.yahoo.com]

It took literally 2 seconds to find.

edit: and [search2.cc.scd.yahoo.com]

edit: by recourse, you mean what? A slap on the wrist? tongue sticking out smiley

Carm



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2006 02:50PM by Carm.
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Since I know you'll want the gory details:
Posted by: h'
Date: July 02, 2006 02:50PM
To Whom It May Concern,

Let me first say that I am an avid and devoted bicyclist, oftentimes logging
10+ miles in a day. I have spent a lot of time in Europe, and have biked a lot
over there as well. I am 100% for making this city bicycle friendly, and in
coming back to America recently, I have had my fair share of trouble with
motorists who do not respect bicyclists.

However, I must say that I am very disappointed in the treatment I received
today from some of your people involved in the bike through Logan Square. Just
because today, I am trying to help my mother and my sister, and so was using a
car loaned to me, does *not* mean that I am not allowed use of the roads.
Furthermore, your people have no right to shove pieces of paper into my car to
try to induct me into your movement. (This is how I have your email address to
complain!)

More importantly, as a bicylist, I am appalled at the number of people who,
even as part of this rally, are in blatant disregard to their own safety or to
the safety of others. I would be surprised if *half* of the people I saw today
were wearing helmets. More dangerous, though, were the stragglers to your
group, who were riding the wrong way down a one-way street.

One of the reasons I am so frustrated with biking in this city is that most of
the bikers I have seen pay no attention to the rules of the road. For us, as
bicylists, to be respected, we have to show that we have a better way of doing
things. Running red lights and riding down the streets the wrong way are
dangerous things to do and absolutely should not be encouraged by your group.
It only helps to reinforce the problems that bicylists have with motorised
traffic. Until I see some sort of effort made on the part of this group to do
so, I'm afraid I cannot participate, and the next time someone shoves a piece
of paper into a car I am driving, I will be filing harassment charges.

Thank you,
[name]

Me:
[Name,]
Thanks for your feedback.
I appreciate your taking the time to share your views.
I've posted it to our listserv, which has close to 500 members.
Hopefully it will reach some of the right people.
Yours,
[my full name]
CCM participant

Her:
I hope it is either a private listserv or you've taken my full name off the
message.

-[full name]

Me (after composing and deleting about 5 different long answers):

[name],
Please keep any further hostility to yourself.
Thanks,
[me]


Dear [me],

Your last message was uncalled for. If you ever have had somebody follow you
around and threaten to kill you and do all sorts of horrible, nasty things,
getting told that a message that was intended for one or a small group of
people is being distributed freely on via listservs is terrifying. Please, for
the sake of my LIFE, if you have not removed my full name and/or email address,
please do so now.

-[name]


E-mail address was not posted, but full name was, as she made a point of signing her message and sending it off into the ether to unknown persons.

Also of note-- her initial message was received almost the exact time we went through Logan Square. Either her computer's clock is wrong, or she was sitting on her porch watching the ride and added some embellishments for extra drama.



I suffer from the same sensitivity that you do. A few nuggets of wisdom were shared with me and I'm "trying" to incorporate them into my life. First, remember that nobody can hurt your feelings unless you let them. You can always reject what is being forced on you emotionally.
Second, nothing changes unless you change it. If you don't want the behavior to be repeated then you need to take action. Otherwise the kid has learned that his behavior is the way to get things done, because everyone lets him get away with it.
In the meantime I sympathize because I've been there.
-beerman
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: Carm
Date: July 02, 2006 02:54PM
Doooohhh sad smiley

They are sending you email from a yahoo account. To your company site.

Dooooohhh

I agree with you. I doubt yahoo will do anything. You could provide their email address to those FREE offers online. The kook will be spammed. grinning smiley

Carm



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2006 02:56PM by Carm.
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: h'
Date: July 02, 2006 02:54PM
Quote
Carm
http://search2.cc.scd.yahoo.com/cct_search.php?ui_mode=answer&prior_transaction_id=194292&action_code=5&highlight_info=16783246,7,13&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fhelp.yahoo.com%2Fhelp%2Fus%2Fmail%2Fplus%2Fmanage%2Fmanage-03.html&answer_id=2805270#__highlight

It took literally 2 seconds to find.

edit: and [search2.cc.scd.yahoo.com]

edit: by recourse, you mean what? A slap on the wrist? tongue sticking out smiley

Carm

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I suffer from the same sensitivity that you do. A few nuggets of wisdom were shared with me and I'm "trying" to incorporate them into my life. First, remember that nobody can hurt your feelings unless you let them. You can always reject what is being forced on you emotionally.
Second, nothing changes unless you change it. If you don't want the behavior to be repeated then you need to take action. Otherwise the kid has learned that his behavior is the way to get things done, because everyone lets him get away with it.
In the meantime I sympathize because I've been there.
-beerman
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: h'
Date: July 02, 2006 02:55PM
Thanks Carm.
Gonna try the "strategic non-response" and hope something else grabs her focus in the meantime. Or encourage her to go file those harrassment charges and watch her get laughed right out of the police station.



I suffer from the same sensitivity that you do. A few nuggets of wisdom were shared with me and I'm "trying" to incorporate them into my life. First, remember that nobody can hurt your feelings unless you let them. You can always reject what is being forced on you emotionally.
Second, nothing changes unless you change it. If you don't want the behavior to be repeated then you need to take action. Otherwise the kid has learned that his behavior is the way to get things done, because everyone lets him get away with it.
In the meantime I sympathize because I've been there.
-beerman
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: Carm
Date: July 02, 2006 02:58PM
Quote
h'
encourage her to go file those harrassment charges and watch her get laughed right out of the police station.

LOL
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: wurm
Date: July 02, 2006 03:18PM
As an impartial observer, it seems to me that "your last message was uncalled for".

How could a request to remove her full name from the note be construed as "hostility"?
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: h'
Date: July 02, 2006 03:26PM
Quote
wurm
As an impartial observer, it seems to me that "your last message was uncalled for".

How could a request to remove her full name from the note be construed as "hostility"?

I sent her a cordial note and got a terse, and yes, hostile response back.
There is no way to remove anything once posted, and her request is not reasonable considering the other details I provided. I cated on good faith and did more for her than was actually fair, since the 450 people who had to read her accusatory rant were given no way to respond.



I suffer from the same sensitivity that you do. A few nuggets of wisdom were shared with me and I'm "trying" to incorporate them into my life. First, remember that nobody can hurt your feelings unless you let them. You can always reject what is being forced on you emotionally.
Second, nothing changes unless you change it. If you don't want the behavior to be repeated then you need to take action. Otherwise the kid has learned that his behavior is the way to get things done, because everyone lets him get away with it.
In the meantime I sympathize because I've been there.
-beerman
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: h'
Date: July 02, 2006 03:27PM
So, why is the text going off the right side of the page in this thread?



I suffer from the same sensitivity that you do. A few nuggets of wisdom were shared with me and I'm "trying" to incorporate them into my life. First, remember that nobody can hurt your feelings unless you let them. You can always reject what is being forced on you emotionally.
Second, nothing changes unless you change it. If you don't want the behavior to be repeated then you need to take action. Otherwise the kid has learned that his behavior is the way to get things done, because everyone lets him get away with it.
In the meantime I sympathize because I've been there.
-beerman
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: Carm
Date: July 02, 2006 04:02PM
Quote
h'
So, why is the text going off the right side of the page in this thread?

Because of this

Quote
h"
There is no way to remove anything once posted, and her request is not reasonable considering the other details I provided. I cated on good faith and did more for her than was actually fair, since the 450 people who had to read her accusatory rant were given no way to respond.



Carm



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2006 04:03PM by Carm.
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: Seacrest
Date: July 02, 2006 04:24PM
Whaaaa!

Someone criticized our renegade bike group and we can't handle it!!

Whaaaaaa!





I am not Ryan Seacrest, and I do not approve this message.
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: PeterB
Date: July 02, 2006 05:19PM
I'm with wurm on this one. If I were in her shoes, I might have reacted much the same way. Posting a private email to a listserv, without asking the original writer's permission first, is bad netiquette as far as I'm concerned. And I would not have described your note to her as "cordial".




Freya says, 'Hello from NOLA, baby!' (Laissez bon temps rouler!)
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: Spock
Date: July 02, 2006 05:21PM
To summarize :-

Woman gets mobbed by bunch of hostile Bicycle Nazis and has the temerity to complain.

Reasonable request not to publish name is misconstrued as hostile.

Whaaaaaa! indeed.



Comedy Central: Best news channel that isn't a news channel.

Fox News: Best comedy channel that isn't a comedy channel.
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: MysteryGuest
Date: July 02, 2006 05:54PM
Spock expresses my response exactly. h', you were really out of line publishing her e-mail without permission.
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: Gutenberg
Date: July 02, 2006 09:17PM
Completely out of line. I didn't see anything hostile in her communications at all.
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: h'
Date: July 02, 2006 11:54PM
Again, she sent her message off into the ether to a random address which was already a group of people, clearly hoping to reach her intended audience. Like writing a letter to the paper, except she gets to present her views and in this case no-one gets to respond. Would have been happy to keep her name confidential if she had not made a point of signing her full name.

Quote

Whaaaa!

Someone criticized our renegade bike group and we can't handle it!!

Whaaaaaa!

Huh? I happen to agree with some of what she wrote.

Quote

Completely out of line. I didn't see anything hostile in her communications at all.
I suppose I'm tuning in on something you're not then.



I suffer from the same sensitivity that you do. A few nuggets of wisdom were shared with me and I'm "trying" to incorporate them into my life. First, remember that nobody can hurt your feelings unless you let them. You can always reject what is being forced on you emotionally.
Second, nothing changes unless you change it. If you don't want the behavior to be repeated then you need to take action. Otherwise the kid has learned that his behavior is the way to get things done, because everyone lets him get away with it.
In the meantime I sympathize because I've been there.
-beerman



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2006 11:55PM by h'.
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: h'
Date: July 02, 2006 11:59PM
Quote
Spock
To summarize :-

Woman gets mobbed by bunch of hostile Bicycle Nazis and has the temerity to complain.

Reasonable request not to publish name is misconstrued as hostile.

Whaaaaaa! indeed.

The request would have certainly been reasonable as an inclusion in the initial message. There is nothing hostile about the ride I was on--there is everything hostile about you, anonymous coward.



I suffer from the same sensitivity that you do. A few nuggets of wisdom were shared with me and I'm "trying" to incorporate them into my life. First, remember that nobody can hurt your feelings unless you let them. You can always reject what is being forced on you emotionally.
Second, nothing changes unless you change it. If you don't want the behavior to be repeated then you need to take action. Otherwise the kid has learned that his behavior is the way to get things done, because everyone lets him get away with it.
In the meantime I sympathize because I've been there.
-beerman
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Re: Yahoo mail abuse-- any recourse?
Posted by: Spock
Date: July 03, 2006 08:58PM
Quote
The Woman Wrote
... your people have no right to shove pieces of paper into my car to try to induct me into your movement.

.... and the next time someone shoves a piece of paper into a car I am driving, I will be filing harassment charges.

She clearly says she was harassed by your Bicycle Nazi friends and you h' are so blinded by your own prejudice that you can't see it. Its painfully obvious to the rest of the word so get over it.



Comedy Central: Best news channel that isn't a news channel.

Fox News: Best comedy channel that isn't a comedy channel.
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