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Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: July 03, 2006 12:47AM
I just purchased my 1.4 TB NAS server for $30. I'm going to sleep with a smile. For this of you that missed the deal I offer this:

Bush & the Queen of England: An International Riddle

On his recent trip to Great Britain, George Bush had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth. He asked her, "How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?"

"That's easy," she replied, "You surround yourself with intelligent ministers and advisors."

"But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?" Bush inquired.

"You ask them a riddle," she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, "Would you please send Tony Blair in."

When Blair arrived, the Queen said, "I have a riddle for you to answer for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?"

Blair replied, "That's easy. The child was me."

"Very good," said the Queen, "You may go, now."

So President Bush went back to Washington and called in his chief of staff, Karl Rove. He said to him, "I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?" Rove replied, "Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer, as no child must be left behind. Can I deliberate on this for a while?" "Yes," said Bush, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the answer."

So Rove went and called a meeting of the White House Staff and asked them the riddle. However, after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. Rove was quite upset, not knowing what he would tell the President.

As Rove was walking back to the Oval Office, he saw former Secretary of State Colin Powell approaching him. So he said, "Mr. Secretary, can you answer this riddle for me: Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?"

"That's easy," said Powell, "The child was me."

"Oh, thank you," said Rove, "You may just have saved me my job!" So Rove went in to the Oval Office and said to President Bush, "I think I know the answer to your riddle. The child was Colin Powell!"

"No, you idiot!" shouted Bush, "The child was Tony Blair!"



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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: BigGuynRusty
Date: July 03, 2006 12:59AM
Wrong side of the forum.

BGnR
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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: Carm
Date: July 03, 2006 01:01AM
Yup wrong side, but it did make me chuckle.

Carm
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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: RgrF
Date: July 03, 2006 01:08AM
PG-13 Warning!!

Since we're on the wrong side of the forum already


A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give @#$%&!"

"@#$%&!" the woman replied.

"It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month," he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no more @#$%& for her! She bought the frog.

When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.

In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

"What are you doing at this hour?" she asked. The husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone."
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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: RgrF
Date: July 03, 2006 01:32AM
an effort to make up for the PG-13 post

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender? Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life?? Let me ask you this then officer? Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!"

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: spearmint
Date: July 03, 2006 01:36AM
I am still waiting on the humor.




Da Good Life
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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: RgrF
Date: July 03, 2006 01:56AM
Cubs fans might not always be the best yardstick about what's funny or not. Has Steve Bartleman been allowed back into the park or move back into his apartment yet?
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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: mikebw
Date: July 03, 2006 03:23AM
A blonde is on a overseas flight from London to the US. An hour into the flight the captain informs the passengers that the #2 engine (one of four) has had a malfunction and they will be arriving 45 minutes late as a result. A few minutes later the captain announces that engine #4 has also stopped working, and that they will be delayed another 45 minutes. Everything seems to be going fine until about an hour later when engine #3 stops as well. Many of the passengers appear nervous except for the blonde who jokes "Boy, if we lose another engine we'll be up here all day!"
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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: spearmint
Date: July 03, 2006 07:08AM
Re: Bartleman, no.




Da Good Life
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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: mikebw
Date: July 03, 2006 08:02AM
how about this one-

"Spearmint laughs out loud".

Get it? I know- dry humor.
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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: July 03, 2006 09:02AM
Quote
Carm
Yup wrong side, but it did make me chuckle.

Carm

Just replace "Bush" with "Clinton" and it works about as well. I didn't mean to make a political statement. Just laugh.



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Re: Sunday Night Humor
Posted by: The UnDoug
Date: July 03, 2006 12:21PM
A little boy has just been potty trained. His parents are so thrilled--no more diapers and pull-ups. Unfortunately, the little boy always makes a loud announcement about it whenever he has to pee, "I have to pee pee!!!". His parents don't like this, as they find it somewhat embarassing. They tell their son that instead of announcing that he has to pee, he should sing a song. So from then on, the little boy sings a pleasant song whenever he has to pee.

Shortly thereafter, the little boy's parents go on a trip and the boy goes to stay with grandma and grandpa. Late one night, after everyone is asleep, the little boy wakes up with the urge to pee. He starts singing and the noise wakes up his grandma. The little boy is standing at her door singing, and the grandma says, "Please stop singing...it's late and you'll wake your grandfather."

"But I have to sing a song!" says the little boy.

"Well", says the grandma, "then come over here and sing in my ear."

Ba dump bump.

I heard that a week or so ago...hope I did it justice.



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