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OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: May 17, 2013 11:03AM
Aargh. angry villagers smiley

She finally 'confessed' after calling me this morning and telling she 'had to tell me something important tonight'. After 20 questions, it came out. In Ohio it's a first class misdemeanor < 100 grams. BUT.. it does go on her 'background check record'. And Daddy dearest ain't bailing her butt out on this one (OK, I may float a loan to pay for her attorney and fines).

There's gonna be some 'splaining to do to Mommy tonight ! damn you smiley

And long term trust issues and monitoring rules, etc... Which is good... she was a bit fast and loose with our household lately.confused smiley

College students and friends who are strippers... not a good combination for a preferably law-abiding family. burnout smiley

(Ed... she's in her mid 20's. But has the apparent maturity level of a 13 year old much of the time.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2013 11:04AM by cbelt3.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: space-time
Date: May 17, 2013 11:16AM
wow, I don't know what to say.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: decay
Date: May 17, 2013 11:19AM
if it's herb, be glad it's only herb.



---
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: rgG
Date: May 17, 2013 11:23AM
So sorry to hear that.





Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: May 17, 2013 11:26AM
sorry cbelt

but she's got a great Dad! Hang in there.

May have been a poor choice on her part but as you know not the worst that could happen.
might want to ask her why she enjoys this particular past-time, if it's just recreational fun and relaxation or self-medicating for something more serious.

Personally I and many others don't think what she did should be illegal and I live in a state where it's not, so, just something to keep in mind.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: May 17, 2013 11:47AM
Tell her to move to Washington or Colorado. It's legal here.



**************************************
MacResource User Map: [www.zeemaps.com]#
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: August West
Date: May 17, 2013 11:58AM
You have to wonder about other issues of which you are not currently aware.



“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in."
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: May 17, 2013 12:09PM
Quote
August West
You have to wonder about other issues of which you are not currently aware.

She's actually quite good at keeping us aware of things in her life. A lot of that is because we don't over-react and drive her into secrecy. It's a balancing act. I usually want to holler and yell and make all kinds of Fatherly tirades, but those are, in the end, counterproductive.

We were actually aware of their use of this organic product. And mrs. cbelt3 was very familiar with it, because (to my surprise) she tried it to see if it would help with her RA pain (it did not). So this limited parental participation was deemed to be 'acceptance'.

I"m actually very pleased that this happened, because NOW I have a stronger reason to forbid and monitor ! devil smiley
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: michaelb
Date: May 17, 2013 12:20PM
She should talk with an attorney about whether diversion is available. At a glance, it may vary by county in Ohio. But for a first offense, if an option, that would allow her the chance to avoid a conviction and keep her record clean (although this may be debatable, since most criminal records checks pull up arrest records, regardless of outcome, and are often not updated with the final case status).
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: dmann
Date: May 17, 2013 12:20PM
She's in her mid 20s? I was on my own, so to speak at that age.

My parents wouldn't have liked receiving that call (and I definitely would have 'fessed up to it!) but that would have been the extent of the involvement. I was no longer living under their roof, nor were they responsible for me financially. Lawyers, court fees, etc. would have all been my burden to bear.

HOWEVER, if I were living in their home, I would have been obligated to play by their rules and there would have been hell to pay for sure.

Like others have said, I think recreational use of marijuana should be legal although that has no bearing whatsoever on this situation.

Hang in there cbelt3!
DM
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: May 17, 2013 12:22PM
Quote
michaelb
She should talk with an attorney about whether diversion is available. At a glance, it may vary by county in Ohio. But for a first offense, if an option, that would allow her the chance to avoid a conviction and keep her record clean (although this may be debatable, since most criminal records checks pull up arrest records, regardless of outcome, and are often not updated with the final case status).

That's my plan. I'll be calling a family friend who is an attorney and the director of a local drug and alcohol treatment center for a referral. I figure he's got a rolodex full of them. I was thinking about possible jobs, but since she wants to go into Theater, I kind of figure having one of these on her record is a job requirement ! big grin smiley
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: mattkime
Date: May 17, 2013 12:50PM
ug, the law is trailing behind on this issue.



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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: prymsnap
Date: May 17, 2013 12:51PM
I'm reading this and thanking my lucky stars I didn't get caught doing the exact same activities in my youth. I *know* it's in no way acceptable to say "everybody's doing it," but seriously: everybody was. Okay, not everybody, but everyone within an enormous circle. A tiny, tiny fraction got busted. It simply didn't feel like an activity that was likely to create dire consequences.
Sorry you're having to work through all this. I hope you and your family find good resources, and I hope your daughter moves forward with smarter decisions in the future.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: May 17, 2013 12:52PM
FWIW... I've noted here that illegality is a bit silly. To me the real issue is maturity. She knew it was against the law, but did it any way. It's a lack of respect for the law, for herself, and for her parents. She's lucky they changed the laws a few years ago to make it a class I misdemeanor. Or she'd be looking at jail time.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: decay
Date: May 17, 2013 01:07PM
and nobody here speeds when they drive... or skip the seatbelt... mad smiley

you're a good dad, you'll handle this fine and she'll also be fine, once it's all in the past.



---
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: Lux Interior
Date: May 17, 2013 01:16PM
"What we're dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law."

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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: May 17, 2013 01:17PM
not to be too nosy, but what was going on that caused her to be arrested, and the drugs found? as mentioned above most people her age never get caught, and use is pretty common.

as a parent that would be my first question, because this is usually a secondary aspect of an arrest and not a high priority for cops, so possibly something more serious was happening?
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: kanesa
Date: May 17, 2013 01:22PM
Quote
dmann
She's in her mid 20s? I was on my own, so to speak at that age.

My parents wouldn't have liked receiving that call (and I definitely would have 'fessed up to it!) but that would have been the extent of the involvement. I was no longer living under their roof, nor were they responsible for me financially. Lawyers, court fees, etc. would have all been my burden to bear.

HOWEVER, if I were living in their home, I would have been obligated to play by their rules and there would have been hell to pay for sure.

Like others have said, I think recreational use of marijuana should be legal although that has no bearing whatsoever on this situation.

Hang in there cbelt3!
DM

My sister and I talked about this the other day. Once we were out of college, we were on our own. We never would have asked our parents for assistance. We were responsible for our lives. I know things are different now is so many ways but it was the best thing. We learned responsibility. Our parents died from cancer by the time I was 35. I felt like an adult orphan but I could take care of myself.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: hal
Date: May 17, 2013 01:22PM
I have to ask... how does one get busted for possession of a small amount? The only time I hear about this is when it's discovered in a more serious crime like drunk driving - discovered while being searched and arrested for something else. It's really rare for someone to be busted for a small amount of pot and not something else as well.

How did she get busted?
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: May 17, 2013 01:36PM
hal-
Good point. She was driving and got pulled over. The officer 'smelled weed' and asked her if she was stoned. She said no. The officer asked if she had smoked earlier. She stupidly said yes. The officer asked for permission to search the vehicle. She declined. The officer declared that because she had confessed to smoking earlier in the day, he had cause to search the vehicle. Did, and found her stash or joint or whatever.

I got the feeling she dodged a DUI arrest by being polite and truthful.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: DP
Date: May 17, 2013 01:40PM
Gotta ask: "Derpette". Is that her name?
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: anonymouse1
Date: May 17, 2013 01:41PM
Excellent plan.


Quote
cbelt3
Quote
michaelb
She should talk with an attorney about whether diversion is available. At a glance, it may vary by county in Ohio. But for a first offense, if an option, that would allow her the chance to avoid a conviction and keep her record clean (although this may be debatable, since most criminal records checks pull up arrest records, regardless of outcome, and are often not updated with the final case status).

That's my plan. I'll be calling a family friend who is an attorney and the director of a local drug and alcohol treatment center for a referral. I figure he's got a rolodex full of them. I was thinking about possible jobs, but since she wants to go into Theater, I kind of figure having one of these on her record is a job requirement ! big grin smiley
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: freeradical
Date: May 17, 2013 01:55PM
Quote
cbelt3
hal-
Good point. She was driving and got pulled over. The officer 'smelled weed' and asked her if she was stoned. She said no. The officer asked if she had smoked earlier. She stupidly said yes. The officer asked for permission to search the vehicle. She declined. The officer declared that because she had confessed to smoking earlier in the day, he had cause to search the vehicle. Did, and found her stash or joint or whatever.

I got the feeling she dodged a DUI arrest by being polite and truthful.


Fishing expedition.

The the real lesson she needs to learn from this is: NEVER TALK TO COPS!
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: May 17, 2013 02:11PM
Quote
DP
Gotta ask: "Derpette". Is that her name?

No, but it seems to default her attitude lately.

Ed: Free- yep. I related that to her as well. The recent SCOTUS case put an end to these "I smell weed" searches. Odds are the whole thing was illegal. Which is what her attorney will tell her.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2013 02:12PM by cbelt3.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: Lemon Drop
Date: May 17, 2013 02:12PM
Quote
cbelt3
hal-
Good point. She was driving and got pulled over. The officer 'smelled weed' and asked her if she was stoned. She said no. The officer asked if she had smoked earlier. She stupidly said yes. The officer asked for permission to search the vehicle. She declined. The officer declared that because she had confessed to smoking earlier in the day, he had cause to search the vehicle. Did, and found her stash or joint or whatever.

I got the feeling she dodged a DUI arrest by being polite and truthful.

so why'd she get pulled over?
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: Racer X
Date: May 17, 2013 02:14PM
Quote
ztirffritz
Tell her to move to Washington or Colorado. It's legal here.

No, it's not. Ask a FEDERAL law enforcement officer. I bet if you blow pot smoke in a National Park Ranger's face, you get busted. Also, if it shows up in your system on a drug test, they can still fire you. Drug tests are federal issues.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: decay
Date: May 17, 2013 02:14PM
wow, you can deny permission for a cop to search your car, and they can do it anyway. banghead smiley

there's always probable cause, i bet. and the judges will back them up.

my wife got pulled over, she was tired, it was late, and she wasn't drinking at all. she was given a field sobriety test anyway. no probable cause.

the cop was tailgating her, and she was trying to move over. he said he was reading her license plate.

you can't win.



---
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: May 17, 2013 02:25PM
Quote
Lemon Drop
so why'd she get pulled over?

She's still learning to drive (yes, I know), and gets VERY nervous when she sees a cop. So she probably slowed down rapidy or changed lanes rapidly. And when a teen/ young adult does that in our suburban town, AND its late at night, they get pulled over by a cop hoping for a tidy little drug bust. Their friend who is black gets pulled over all the time for simple DWB. To the point where she really doesn't like driving any more.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: hal
Date: May 17, 2013 03:31PM
This video caused a HUGE discussion when first posted in this community years ago...

perhaps it's time again... [www.youtube.com]

it's the law class where the teacher invites a policeman to speak about keeping your mouth shut around police and why... it's LONG, but to my amazement, I watched the whole thing (both parts) and am glad I did.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: clay
Date: May 17, 2013 03:44PM
Quote
hal
This video caused a HUGE discussion when first posted in this community years ago...

perhaps it's time again... [www.youtube.com]

it's the law class where the teacher invites a policeman to speak about keeping your mouth shut around police and why... it's LONG, but to my amazement, I watched the whole thing (both parts) and am glad I did.

yeah, that's a very informative video. Watched it myself when it was posted here sometime back.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: Speedy
Date: May 17, 2013 04:51PM
Yes, great video.

Good luck to your family.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: N-OS X-tasy!
Date: May 17, 2013 05:15PM
Quote
decay
my wife got pulled over, she was tired, it was late, and she wasn't drinking at all. she was given a field sobriety test anyway. no probable cause.

I've been pulled over and given a FOT twice in my life - both times I was stone cold sober (and under 25 years old).



It is what it is.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: May 17, 2013 06:30PM
Quote
Racer X
Quote
ztirffritz
Tell her to move to Washington or Colorado. It's legal here.

No, it's not. Ask a FEDERAL law enforcement officer. I bet if you blow pot smoke in a National Park Ranger's face, you get busted. Also, if it shows up in your system on a drug test, they can still fire you. Drug tests are federal issues.

Just don't smoke it on federal property, or if your employment requires you to pass a drug test. It is legal in Washington but the Feds don't know that yet.



**************************************
MacResource User Map: [www.zeemaps.com]#
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: deckeda
Date: May 17, 2013 09:55PM
"Bummer" is about all I can say. Or not:

Many (well, some) have done things we're lucky we didn't get busted for. I agree it's partly luck, partly circumstance (which is luck, sorta) and partly ignorance.

Truth is, with him smelling it, she wasn't likely sober enough (and I'm not referring to alcohol at all here) enough to creatively elude or dissuade the search.

It was a fishing expedition, but from experience I can tell you the waters weren't very deep --- the only time as a kid I really did something stupid behind the wheel was when high, not drunk. It can be unpredictable, more so than booze. At her age I once threw a joint out the window after I saw the cop hit his lights and "engage" --- when he pulled me over he was very angry because he said he saw me throw "something" out the window and I played dumb about doing so. No arrest, no ticket. Pure luck, as I was high as a kite. I'm not defending the law or the policeman here but nor am I condemning them.

I got the feeling she dodged a DUI arrest by being polite and truthful.

There's the very strong possibility she wasn't drinking, or not drunk, or that the smell of weed masked it. I doubt the cop would let anyone off a DUI charge for being polite if he smelled it that, too.

****************
FWIW... I've noted here that illegality is a bit silly. To me the real issue is maturity. She knew it was against the law, but did it any way. It's a lack of respect for the law, for herself, and for her parents.

Does not compute. If you think the law is silly you can't apply its logic to your daughter. Doing something you know is against the law and being mature are indeed unrelated if the law's basically a joke, and I think you'd agree with that assertion.

The "lack of respect ... for herself, and for her parents" is going to leave you unsatisfied and disappointed forever unless you let it go and let her be herself. It's actually not about you, just because you personally don't smoke weed (neither do I.)

In the meantime, yes be the Good Dad and give her the loan. And we're still waiting for the stripper-friend pix, thanks!
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: Racer X
Date: May 18, 2013 12:51AM
Quote
ztirffritz
Quote
Racer X
Quote
ztirffritz
Tell her to move to Washington or Colorado. It's legal here.

No, it's not. Ask a FEDERAL law enforcement officer. I bet if you blow pot smoke in a National Park Ranger's face, you get busted. Also, if it shows up in your system on a drug test, they can still fire you. Drug tests are federal issues.

Just don't smoke it on federal property, or if your employment requires you to pass a drug test. It is legal in Washington but the Feds don't know that yet.

Wrong. A US Marshal can still arrest you and make it stick. Same with DEA, FBI, USCG, Customs, Homeland, Border Patrol, etc.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: andypie48
Date: May 18, 2013 06:59AM
"In Ohio, possession of less than 100 grams of marijuana is a minor misdemeanor, punishable by a fine up to $150.00, plus court costs."

Its not a Class 1 Misdemeanor.

The chief side effect in Ohio is they will take your driver's license for 6 months. Making it a minor misdemeanor is supposed to mean you can still get student loans, but who knows for sure.
In a few years she can get the conviction expunged, so it won't be on her public record, although cops and courts can still see it.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: andypie48
Date: May 18, 2013 07:12AM
Oh, BTW I have a friend who's a stripper. What of it?
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: Speedy
Date: May 18, 2013 08:44AM
Quote
andypie48
Oh, BTW I have a friend who's a stripper. What of it?

Pics? Otherwise it never happened.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: vision63
Date: May 18, 2013 10:05AM
I work with a lot of youth, and they get busted a lot. Like decay said, there's "always" probable cause. They're getting high because it's fun and it's social and cool, but deep down, they're not in control of their lives and they're scared. When you're not in control, you're vulnerable to whatever anyone/thing wants to do to you. Life is hard "sober." Let alone, being juiced or high. The kids trip when I tell them that I've been stopped a hundred times but I've never been arrested. I tell 'em that's cuz I try to keep my life in order and I'm careful with who I hang with. A simple recipe. Not every stop went smoothly. One Inglewood cop socked me in the chest (to his detriment, though remarkably, he and I are friends to this day). Anytime my life came close to running off the rails, it had something to do with whoever I was hanging with.

You're daughter is going to be fine. At least she's got people that care about her. Stuff happens and I'm glad that it's not something worse. Tell your daughter that this world will grind her to a nub if she doesn't take her life more seriously.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: Janit
Date: May 18, 2013 01:02PM
I'd say here that the issue of maturity would have to do with understanding the consequences of such behavior and acting in ways that mitigate the negative consequences. Is it possible to smoke weed "responsibly"? I would say yes, but that would require some thought and planning:

1) Don't drive while stoned. Really! It is dangerous.
2) Don't smoke weed inside your car. Really! The odor is distinctive.
3) Give some thought to the circumstances under which you carry weed in your car or on your person.

Of course, the more stoned you are, the harder it is to think about these issues.

It is possible that the cop did NOT smell anything and was just reacting to her timid driving. Bummer if that was the case. After the first question, she probably should have answered every subsequent question with "I am not intoxicated, sir, I changed lanes in order to let you pass by. Did I do something wrong?" It is tricky though to stand by your rights without provoking angry retaliation.

It would probably relieve you to hear what "really" happened, though she may not tell you. Professional counseling would probably be useful for her.
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Re: OT: Derpette.... 'adult' daughter busted for misdemeanor posession
Posted by: DeusxMac
Date: May 19, 2013 01:00PM
Quote
cbelt3
... she's in her mid 20's. But has the apparent maturity level of a 13 year old much of the time.)
Sorry, but this is the real source of her problems; the drug bust is just a manifestation of it.
Without acquiring the necessary maturity, this may be just one of many incidents and/or undesirable circumstances in her (and possibly your) future.
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