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A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: mrlynn
Date: April 29, 2015 11:24AM
Some of you may remember this post from January a year ago, when my mother turned 100:

[forums.macresource.com]

She reached 101 just three months ago, but was becoming weaker; of late she was spending most of her time sleeping, and finally Monday night she peacefully passed away.

It was perhaps a blessing, as she had lost her sight, much of her memory, and her hearing also was getting worse. She had little mobility, and required 24-hour care. For a long time she had been saying that "This is just existing, not living." A simple graveside funeral, which is what she wanted, will be Saturday.

With my mother's death, we will have to deal with the house and property. My parents bought 12 acres in what was then rural Montgomery Country (Maryland) back in 1947, built a small but modern ranch house in 1950, and then gradually expanded the house over the years, adding a swimming pool and a Great Room. But neither my two brothers nor I are in a position to take over the property (now 10 acres, with 2-acre zoning, maybe two of it woods), so it will have to be sold, and likely as not a developer will buy it, demolish the unique but unfashionable house, and put up maybe three McMansions. With her death comes the long-deferred realization that this small family legacy will be swept away, except for old photographs and memories.

My mother was the youngest and last of six sisters (and one brother), who grew up in Brooklyn, a feisty daughter of Russian Jewish immigrants, the only one of her family who went to college. She came to Washington, DC to work for the government, and there met my father at a union dance; they were an unlikely pair, as he was a gentile from upstate New York. But they made a life together, and gave us boys the experience of a rural outpost in what became rapidly-growing suburban sprawl.

There's more to be said, but for now it's a sad, if inevitable, time.

/Mr Lynn

PS I posted a picture of the house here: [hillbillyatharvard.wordpress.com]



"Hillbilly at Harvard"
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The HAH weblog: [hillbillyatharvard.wordpress.com]

Topical weblog: [walkingcreekworld.wordpress.com]

On the river in Saxonville.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/29/2015 11:30AM by mrlynn.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Lux Interior
Date: April 29, 2015 11:27AM
Sorry for your loss.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Pam
Date: April 29, 2015 11:39AM
So sorry for your loss sad smiley
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: testcase
Date: April 29, 2015 11:45AM
Condolences on your loss.

"For a long time she had been saying that "This is just existing, not living."

Very accurate observation on your mom's part.

She's at peace now. The family can still take lots of pictures before the old homestead gets sold off and broken up. If the family doesn't need money the sale would generate, is there a worthy cause that could utilize the those 10 acres (camp, retreat etc), perhaps honoring your mom's memory?
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: billb
Date: April 29, 2015 11:46AM
My condolences to you and your relatives and friends.



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: rgG
Date: April 29, 2015 11:50AM
My condolences.

I see that you have a beautiful, large crepe myrtle there, in front of the house. We have some that are that color.





Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: jesse
Date: April 29, 2015 11:53AM
Sorry for your loss.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Silencio
Date: April 29, 2015 11:55AM
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Kate
Date: April 29, 2015 11:56AM
Sad but wonderful as well, what great memories you have! She sounds like such a fine lady, happy you got to have her in your life.

She will live on in your heart.

Kate
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: rjmacs
Date: April 29, 2015 12:04PM
Great positive and loving thoughts your way, mrlynn. Sounds like she was a great matriarch, and is at peace now.



rj
AKA
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: mikebw
Date: April 29, 2015 12:04PM
My condolences.

I'm a lifelong resident of Montgomery County and I daresay that home is in quite a desirable area. I should think there will be little trouble selling the property, perhaps even as-is.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Cary
Date: April 29, 2015 12:05PM
My condolences.

Perhaps you'll find someone who actually wants to live there, rather than subdivide...
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: steve...
Date: April 29, 2015 12:07PM
I would also like to offer my condolences, Mr Lynn. Sounds like you have some very good memories.





Northern California Coast
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: vision63
Date: April 29, 2015 12:13PM
So your mom was born in 1914. That is AMAZING. Bless her heart and my prayers and condolences to you and your family and to your mother's being.

The effort it took for your parents to build their own little empire is what is to be honored. I'm very curious about your mom's entire journey. She witnessed so much. And entire third of our nation's existence.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Ammo
Date: April 29, 2015 12:18PM
I think I know what you mean when you mention the passing of an era. I have experienced similar feelings over the past several years as my parents and their friends passed away, one by one. Now there is no one left of what to me as a child and young adult represented stability, knowledge and - in some cases - wisdom.

Their generation mostly began with nothing and became comfortably self-sufficient. They lived through some very trying times and survived. It's a strange feeling to not have them here anymore. Their homes have been sold and memory of their lives have already started to fade. I think the question I struggle with sometimes is how can this happen to people who once loomed so large in my life? It's kind of a melancholy feeling.



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: rich in distress
Date: April 29, 2015 12:18PM
I remember your 100th celebration post. Please accept my sincere condolences.
These are trying moments, no doubt, but her legacy will transcend the property and reach every soul that was touched by her good will... us folks included.



• back to confinement


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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: April 29, 2015 12:25PM
My condolences, Mr. Lynn, and may your Mother rest in peace.

101 is a pretty darn good run. She reminds me of my Grandmother, who also lived to be 101. Same situation, really. Quality of life had diminished to being confined in a nursing home, nearly blind and very hard of hearing.

As Cary said, it would be nice if someone decided to live in that great looking house. I would hate to see it razed just to build McMansions on the property.



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: kanesa
Date: April 29, 2015 12:32PM
So sorry for your loss. Losing a mother is a difficult milestone in life.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: GuyGene
Date: April 29, 2015 12:38PM
My condolences too, Mr. It is indeed a change of an era, we must carry on in the traditions we were taught by those who taught us properly. I'm thankful for people like your mother!



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Buck
Date: April 29, 2015 12:41PM
I hope your family finds many ways to celebrate her long life.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Uncle Wig
Date: April 29, 2015 01:12PM
I'm sorry for your loss, and also that you aren't able to keep that property in the family. I hate the idea of it being snatched up by developers.



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Dennis R
Date: April 29, 2015 01:13PM
So sorry for your loss.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: lost in space
Date: April 29, 2015 01:38PM
Sorry to hear of your loss. Perhaps it's inevitable that the house would be razed for Mcmansions; it looks like it was well lived in and that there was love in it.



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Frank
Date: April 29, 2015 01:47PM
Sorry to hear of your mother's passing. Enjoy the happy memories growing up in a loving family in such a beautiful place.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: wave rider
Date: April 29, 2015 01:57PM
Words are never enough, I am sorry for your loss...

=wr=
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Buzz
Date: April 29, 2015 02:10PM
Sorry for your loss, and as Rick-o says, 101 is a pretty darn good run.

As you so aptly noted, it sounds like you have a good grip on the situation. It was her time, she passed peacefully, and you and the rest of your family were prepared. She will rest in peace, knowing she raised a good family. You'll always have the good memories to reflect upon.
==
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: decay
Date: April 29, 2015 02:17PM
Very sorry to hear it. Would love to read some stories some time, either here or at your blog.

It does look like a pretty property. Open space is desireable. My wife and I talk about when we will downsize and move further out from the crowded layout of town living.

I hope your family enjoys some laughs amongst the tears, as you revisit old memories, inside jokes that only you would get, and gradually allow the pain of loss to dull, but never disappear.



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Speedy
Date: April 29, 2015 02:26PM
My sincerest condolences, mrlynn. A generation now gone but never forgotten.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: April 29, 2015 02:34PM
Our condolences. You now have all the memories of your mother in your family and friends. Be sure to share them as often as possible. Centarians are a special class of people, because they have lived through so much of our history. I remember my wife's great aunt, who almost made it to 103.

She thought her fancy springed horse drawn wagon was pretty cool as a child, didn't see what all the fuss was about over that Automobile thing, but really wanted to fly into space and walk on the moon.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: GeneL
Date: April 29, 2015 02:53PM
What a lovely environment your mom and dad created. I'm sure that they loved living there and I feel sad that you can't retain the property for your family to enjoy in the future.

You have my sympathy for your loss, mrlynn.

GeneL



gl @ Dana Point, CA
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: DinerDave
Date: April 29, 2015 03:04PM
My condolences. As others have said, it sounds like you have the correct mindset to handle this. Myself as well as virtually everyone here in this community have experienced life's not so enjoyable parts. That said we are thinking of you, and if you need to talk or vent to someone, we are great listeners.

Dave



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: goodmanx
Date: April 29, 2015 04:06PM
May her memory be a blessing to you and your family.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: MrNoBody
Date: April 29, 2015 05:00PM
I too would like to offer my condolences to you and your family.



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: $tevie
Date: April 29, 2015 05:30PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. At the same time, I know that you appreciate how many people do not have their mothers as long as you did. You will miss her for sure. Be well.



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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: space-time
Date: April 29, 2015 07:25PM
My condolences. All good things must come to an end eventually. Nothing is forever.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: Sam3
Date: April 29, 2015 07:30PM
My deepest condolences to you and your family. You are correct, she is the end of an era. An era of The Great War, of flappers and the Roaring 20's, of the Great Depression, WWII. Of the Korean conflict, of Vietnam, of the 60's hippy era, of Disco and Grunge and post millenials. May your memories of her last forever.

The house is very nice, I wouldn't mind living in it, alas, I am not anywhere close to Maryland. I hope that you can find a buyer who will appreciate it for what it is, and raise their own family in it, as opposed to having the land go to a developer.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: mrlynn
Date: April 29, 2015 07:54PM
Quote
testcase
If the family doesn't need money the sale would generate, is there a worthy cause that could utilize the those 10 acres (camp, retreat etc), perhaps honoring your mom's memory?

Although not poor, none of us are wealthy, and we have children who have less, so while donation is a fine idea, I think when it comes to family assets, charity still begins at home. There are other factors as well, which I won't go into now. But thanks for the idea. Believe me, we have explored various alternatives.

Many thanks to all of you for your good words and sympathy. Fortunately, my parents had enough resources that, even after two hip replacements and other ailments, my mother was able to stay in the house with constant care. She would not have survived nearly as long in a nursing home.

/Mr Lynn
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: DP
Date: April 29, 2015 08:34PM
Late to the party. What everyone else said. RIP to the person who gave you the greatest gift of all...
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: rapayn1
Date: April 29, 2015 11:52PM
MrLynn,

My condolences to you and the rest of your family. I am right next door to Montgomery County here in Howard County, Maryland.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: A-Polly
Date: April 29, 2015 11:57PM
Lovely to hear of a long life, well-lived, and a home that was full of so many blessings. My condolences to you and your family.
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: blooz
Date: April 30, 2015 08:37AM
Sounds like a life well lived. Take heart in that while you grieve.



And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
Western Massachusetts
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Re: A Death in the Family Means the End of an Era
Posted by: decay
Date: April 30, 2015 03:03PM
a friend of mine just shared this today.





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