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Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: RgrF
Date: July 27, 2015 03:55AM
Florida (the authors homestate) is three men. One is a man from the Northeast who has lived in Florida so long he is sun burnt and has lizard skin. He has on a colorful shirt and/or a Columbia fishing shirt with a wide brim straw hat. He is in the center of the bar, but is singing "Margaritaville" all by himself. He is drinking rum. The second one is a Cuban guy drinking espresso, hitting on every girl on the bar. He's really cocky and dresses really metro sexual, and although he has a Porsche, he still lives with his parents. The third guy from Florida is a guy wearing khakis and a collared polo with a bow-tie. He has a southern drawl, and is into cars and history, and he identifies Republican.

Colorado is a beautiful, perfectly athletic couple wearing all Patagonia, drinking craft beer talking about their last mountaineering trip, with an air of aloofness. They are hanging with California.

California is two people. The first is a blonde girl with fake @#$%& drinking a Cosmo talking with the classic "Valley Girl" accent and complaining about how her dad won't get her a new BMW and hasn't gotten any callbacks from her auditions. The other person is an Asian/White tech genius who is telling everyone about his new startup. He loves running and playing disc golf with his friends, and can't wait to try the new restaurant down the street.

Nevada is a sketchy, middle-aged balding man chain-smoking cigarettes he pulls from his black leather jacket, rolling dice on the bar counter top and drinking whiskey, straight up. He's creepily staring at California, and trying to get Florida to dice with him.

New York is an Italian businessman, wearing an expensive suit, with a perfect haircut and slicked back hair. He is talking down to New Jersey, like a father talking to a son, and he's drinking scotch.

New Jersey is a man of Italian/Mediterranean decent wearing a wifebeater and track pants. He's eating a calzone and is drinking a Crown and Coke.

Vermont is a guy who brought in his own craft beer from his hometown in Vermont, and stubbornly refuses to try any other beer, but is pretty much friendly to everyone.

Pennsylvainia is a cheery, pretty brunette girl with blue eyes, dressed fairly preppy, but not as much as Massachusetts. She's drinking Yuengling and making out with a handful of other states.

Alabama is a fat guy with a goatee, wearing a camo jacket and a trucker hat. Despite his drunkenness and outwards appearance of being a racist redneck, he is actually pretty nice to everyone at the bar. He's drinking a can of budweiser.

Georgia is a rapper of African-American descent. He has on all designer clothes, and a big chain with a pendant that says "ATL". He is drinking something purple out a foam cup, and smells like marijuana. He is hitting on California.

South Carolina is an overly drunk guy in his mid-twenties, wearing preppy pastel clothes, a sports jacket, and pants with little boats embroidered on them. He is talking about what he is going to do with his family's old money to anyone who listens. He's drinking an Old Fashioned.

North Carolina is an attractive, bubbly blonde girl of average height with a smoky accent, whose just graduated from UNC and has taken a job teaching young kids. She is hanging out with South Carolina and Virginia, and she isn't drinking anything because she just found out she's pregnant.

Texas is a average looking guy wearing boots, jeans, with a tucked in plaid collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He has talked to almost everyone at the bar, except Colorado, and is drinking a bottle of Shiner or, in Austin, Lone Star.

Massachusetts is a middle-aged guy with a gut, obnoxiously arguing with anyone that approaches him. He's sipping on a beer, but is scowling at New York and New Jersey talking. New Hamshire, Vermont, and Maine are trying to get his attention, but he's not having any of it.

Maine is pale white guy hanging around with the rest of New England, but is oddly dressed in tons of layers as if it were the depths of winter. Everyone comes by Maine to look at the amazingly large lobster roll he is eating. He can't quite understand the attention.

New Mexico: Is a man of Spanish descent, and is wearing a motorcycle jacket from riding his dirt bike most of the day. He is really chill and laid back, and is hanging out with some of the other west coast people. He's eating a burrito with green chile, drinking a good beer.

Oklahoma is a obese couple who have not moved from there spots since sitting down next to Texas. They have on sweatpants, and brought in fast food to eat at the bar. They are drinking Bud Light bottles.

Michigan is a laid back young guy in his early twenties with the classic Michigan accent that has a note of huskiness to it. He has on a backwards Lions hat, t-shirt and jeans. Everyone loves him, and is the life of the party, and he's been making out with PA for quite a while. He's been drinking a lot of beer, but doesn't seem buzzed at all.

New Hampshire is a skinny, nerdy white guy in a collared shirt and khakis, who also carried in signs for his favorite political candidate. He's drinking craft beer and getting into philosophical and political discussions with Vermont and Maine, but is open to talk to everyone. He is quick to tell everyone he loves himself, and humbly without arrogance.

Ohio is an incredibly average white guy, that's not out of shape but not in good shape either. He has his sports hat on of his favorite Ohio sports team and is drinking good beer but nothing fancy. He has a family and works in an office. He can't stop talking about how much he hates himself, but doesn't leave due to his ties there, and would miss his friends if he left.

Utah is a pale white guy who's slightly overweight. He is friendly and laid back but also reserved. He is drinking a soda and says he doesn't like drinking. He is not quick to tell everyone he's Mormon, but respects everyone's beliefs (even New Hampshire's extreme political ideas). He is out by himself but left his family of wife and eight kids at home. He's hanging around New Hampshire and Vermont for the good discussion, but can't help be envious of Colorado and how everyone wants to talk to them.

Tennessee is two women. One is a voluptuous black woman, with a sultry voice and is singing blues at the corner of the bar, to many of the patrons' delight. The other is a curvy, blonde girl with big hair, extroverted and full of @#$%&. She is playing a guitar singing country, and is attracting the attention of many of the men at the bar.

Washington is a pale girl, very quiet and reluctant to be friendly to anyone except Oregon. She has glasses and a couple books, and isn't drinking because she's enjoying a cup of coffee she got from her favorite place on the way here. She loves hiking with her boyfriend and watching indie movies and documentaries on Netflix. She suddenly yells at New Jersey for throwing a napkin on the floor and not in the correct recycling bin.

Oregon is a tall, skinny hipster dude with a handlebar mustache and obviously stoned. He has many traditional tattoos. He showed Georgia his weed and Georgia was thoroughly impressed and jealous. He is not originally from Oregon, but now identifies with it wholly. He is drinking a craft brew from a brand new brewery in Portland. He has a weird sense of humor, and loves using irony. He has a huge crush on Washington.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2015 03:57AM by RgrF.
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: July 27, 2015 06:30AM
Reddit! Yours ?
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: N-OS X-tasy!
Date: July 27, 2015 09:09AM
California is missing its Latinos?



It is what it is.
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: DeusxMac
Date: July 27, 2015 10:12AM
A "Michigan accent"??

Somebody's been in Florida too long.
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: Wags
Date: July 27, 2015 10:38AM
No one in their right mind, here in Portland, has a huge crush on Washington. We want those bozos in Vancouver to stay on their own side of the river.
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: Dennis S
Date: July 27, 2015 10:52AM
A college student from North Carolina goes into a bar in New England. She asks the bartender, "Did you go to Harvard?" The bartender says, "Yale." The North Carolinan says, "DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?"
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: July 27, 2015 12:33PM
And then there's a guy from Minnesota...

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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: pdq
Date: July 27, 2015 03:37PM
You know, Lena went to England to participate in a breast stroke swim competition across the channel. A Dutch girl came in first, reaching France in 17 hours. A French girl came in second after 18 hours.

Four days later, an obviously exhausted Lena rolled up on the beach in France. She said, "you know, I don't like to tattle, but I tink dows udder girls were using dere arms und legs".
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: kahuna1342
Date: July 27, 2015 04:23PM
Quote
Wags
No one in their right mind, here in Portland, has a huge crush on Washington. We want those bozos in Vancouver to stay on their own side of the river.

Darn right! smiling smiley





Two wrongs don't make a right, but, three rights make a left.
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: July 27, 2015 05:01PM
Shows what you know...Vancouver is in Canada.RollingEyesSmiley5



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MacResource User Map: [www.zeemaps.com]#
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: rexs
Date: July 27, 2015 08:08PM
Quote

No one in their right mind, here in Portland, has a huge crush on Washington.

Portland moto: Keep Portland Weird = Not in their Right Mind
Thus: No one in their right mind, here in Portland = Zero
Therefore all in Portland have a huge crush on Washington

However Gertrude Stein's quote "There is no there, there" also applies to Vancouver
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Re: Stereotypes can be fun (if taken with a grain of salt and sense of humor)
Posted by: Wags
Date: July 27, 2015 09:44PM
Quote
ztirffritz
Shows what you know...Vancouver is in Canada.RollingEyesSmiley5

If only smiley-music039

Maybe I should move to Bellingham.
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