Neil Winter -
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(sorry its too big but i'm tired / don't care right now)
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After 15 hours of labor and disappointing results we had no option but to go c-section. I'm now contemplating what this will mean for mama and our little family over the next few weeks. I had planned on taking two weeks parental leave, using the remainder in the spring once mom returns to work to delay daycare. (note: this was mom's preferred way to do things) Now i'm concerned that it will take more than two weeks for mom to be ready to care for the baby while i'm at work.

I'm curious to hear how fellow forum-ites have gone about this.

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/08/2015 10:55PM by mattkime.

Can't give you c-section advice, but I do want to congratulate you and your sweetheart on your new bundle of joy!

Came in to turn off the computer, but did a refresh of computer and your thread was at the top.

Brought it up on the iPhone and took it to the wife, who loves babies.

Babies are cute.

Thanks for sharing

Congratulations!
I can't advise on C-section recovery, but I imagine a lot depends on the previous physical condition of the mother.

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Congrats!

Now go take care of Mom and Neil - and yourself when you can!

Not specific to c-section recovery, but from having a large abdominal incision from my surgery, if she feels a need to cough or belly laugh I can pass on my nurses' suggestion. They told me to hold a pillow tight to my stomach, it definitely helped avoid pain in that area.

Also, congratulations on the baby.

Awesome! Your new life is just beginning, Enjoy it!

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Congratulations! Neil is a beautiful baby!!

Our first was a c-section. My wife was in the hospital for about four days, then she took it easy for another few days. I would guess she will be able to lift baby in two weeks without a problem. Now get some rest, you'll need it.

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Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.

Congratulations all. Such a beautiful child.

Nice job!

c-sections can vary -- not sure how much you have heard about them.

For many, they are fine and have not problems after. But dont kid yourself, its actually pretty major surgery.

My wifes C was an "emergency" -- like, you baby wasnt coming out and they final determined it was too much stress and just did the C. However, the recovery was horrible, my wife had to stay an extra 6 days, and then the next several months were spent with a lot of abdominal pain, constipation, and more general agony than I can remember.

I would say if your wife is already fine just a day or two later, then it should be fine. But if there are already problems, then be prepared.

If the C would have been our first child, we would have only had one and been done. The first kids birth was so easy it was almost a non-event. Walked in 8 am, had the baby at 8 pm, stayed overnight home by 10 am the next day. Done.

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Edited 999 time(s). Last edit at 12:08PM by jdc.

Congrats!!
No advice specifically for C section. I just know that it can be bad and a longer recovery. Wife almost had a C section while giving birth, OBGYN saved the day when she arrived at 4:00am in the morning.

You might want to take more time off if you can. If not get family/friends to help her while you are out of the house. I spent 1 week in the hospital with wife and baby because of a broken collar bone. Spent another 2 weeks at home with wife and baby to get everyone settled in. Take shifts if possible or you will both go crazy with lack of sleep.

My son was a month late and after the 18 hours in labor, they delivered him by c-section. Now, 50 years later, he's doing well and so is his mom. He now has three kids of his own.

Unless the doctors are telling you that something is wrong, just relax, support your wife and enjoy your beautiful new baby.

Congratulations!

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gl @ Dana Point, CA

Congratulations on your new addition! Lister to mom and let mom listen to her body. Go from there. If you need to extend your leave, give your boss as much notice as you can.

Congrats from me as well. No advice to offer on the c section, though.

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JoeM

Congratulations!

Wife went through 2 C Sections, the recovery is easier than I thought. I don't remember any specifics, which is a good sign that there were no major issues. I'll ask her when she wakes up, and if we come up with some advice, I will come back and post.

Congratulations !!!
Our last two were C section babies. The pillow trick works. Recovery varies by person. We were fortunate because her mom came and helped for the first week. I will say that Mommy instincts speed recovery amazingly ... Mrs cbelt3 could not stay down while her baby was around.

C-section here. For reasons I won't go into my recovery was not as easy as some. But not horrible either. After the first two weeks I was fine handling things alone at home. I wouldn't have faired so well if I had tried to venture out with the baby. I still had soreness when I went back to work after 6 weeks. Just play it by ear. As the end of two weeks approaches you'll see if more time at home is needed. It may be that your biggest help will come when you get home from work. Doing laundry, pushing a vacuum, taking trash out, running to the store, etc. Trade busy evenings for time home in the spring.

Mostly, congrats!!!

Congrats!

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CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I also had an unplanned C-Section, after twelve hours of labor in the hospital. Anyway, stairs are supposedly a no-no for, IIRC, the first six weeks. I am not sure I waited quite that long before I carefully went up and down the stairs, but I think that was the recommendation.

As others have said, it depends on each person, how long the healing takes, but she will definitely need you a lot those first two weeks. I think you will have to play it by ear after that and just see how she is doing.

Sorry she had to go this route, it isn't any fun, but at least she and that beautiful baby are doing well.

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Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)

Time to toss the well worn cliche - but time to step up and prove what you are made of.
Give, give, give, give, give. There are dividends . May not seem like it.


I'm just gonna hope there is no postpartum depression. It's rare and be thankful that it is.

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Congratulations!! Good-looking baby!

No advice with the c-section. Our first took 30 hours, second an hour after water broke, on the side of the road. So, yeah we had some variability.

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CONGRATS!

CONGRATS!

CONGRATS!

(one CONGRATS! for each of you!)

you and your wonderful wife produced a very sweet looking child.

may all of your enjoy nothing but healthy and goodness.

be well.

rob



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/09/2015 08:20AM by robfilms.

Matt,

Major congrats! Neil is adorable! My wife had a scheduled c-section. So, we knew she was going to have one and planned accordingly. This was her second c-section and it was tougher than the first one.

As far as I'm concerned, a c-section is major surgery. Common. But major. The key thing to do is follow the doctor's orders and recommendations and how her body feels. Above all, she shouldn't push too hard.

In the case of the birth of Baby M, my wife and Baby M stayed in the hospital for three days (or was it four?). That time is kind of foggy now. The heaviest weight she was allowed to lift was Baby M. Any other lifting was a no-no.

The doctor wanted her on her feet ASAP. That meant sitting in a chair instead of staying in bed, careful walks to the bathroom and around the floor of the hospital. Once Baby M was home and her pediatrician said it was okay to take her outside, my wife's recovery included walks around the building and the neighborhood.

One of the most critical factors in your wife's recovery is your support. She'll need you now more than ever. Changing the baby. Cleaning bottles. Helping her around the house on multiple levels. Listening to her. Just sitting next to her, holding her hand. You get the idea.

As you are now aware, the baby needs a tremendous amount of attention, i.e. feeding, changing diapers, etc. All day and all night, every 2 to 3 hours. Both of you will be sleep deprived and utterly exhausted at times. And, from what I understand, it's tough enough after natural childbirth. After c-section? I can tell you from my recent experience, your wife will definitely need assistance at home after you go to work.

This is not to say you need a live-in baby nurse. One might prove very worthwhile. We didn't go that route. Rather, many weeks prior to Baby Day, we interviewed and hired a postpartum doula. It's worked out well.

The doula came out a couple of days before Baby Day to help prep the apartment and came to the house during the day, each day for the first two or so weeks. After that, we had her come three days per week and have slowly but surely weaned down her hours. Even now, 9 weeks later, we still have her coming over to assist us as necessary. The help she's provided has been worth every penny.

The doula doesn't care for Baby M per say, though she does to a certain degree. One of her goals was to teach us best current practices for taking care of Baby M. That way, we learned how to take care of her properly, on our own. She assists with other tasks such as doing baby's laundry, running errands, occasional cooking, etc.

BTW, life goes on despite all of this. Don't forget to keep an eye on the bills and other household tasks. Do you have a nanny or daycare arranged? If not,then you need to get on it immediately. We had that setup long before the birth of Baby M.

Robert

Congratulations!

I had a c-section with my daughter 21 years ago. I spent about 5 days in the hospital then home. My husband had a week off, then my Mom came over during the day to help out. I think for the first couple of weeks it was painful, but after that it was pretty easy, if I remember correctly you're not supposed to pick up anything heavier than the baby for a while, so help with housework is nice.

Jesse,

The doctor told my wife no lifting of anything heavier than the baby for at least the first month. Apparently, this is the normal advice.

Robert

Congrats! Cute kid.

No C-sec advise. Just take a breath or two. more often than not . . . ;)

Wow! I'm amazed at the harsher restrictions than I had. My daughter is 23. She was born at 1am on a Wed and we went home Fri morning. No stairs for 2 weeks. No driving for 2 weeks. I don't remember any specific lifting instructions other than using common sense.

A BIG congratulations, matt!! Gene's advice seems good to me. He's been there. Take care of all three!

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Congratulations on your expanding family – what a beautiful baby!

C-section here, too. The doctor should give you the most up-to-date advice, but I'm with Pam: just play it by ear and see how it goes and how you both feel. And it will be great if you can manage the household chores even once you're back at work so she can devote her energy to the baby and healing (although she may feel better quickly, full recovery takes some time). And I believe sleep is more important than maintaining the level of pre-child tidiness!

Pam,

Yups! Many things are different these days. It isn't just the c-section stuff either. Caring for the baby is different now, too. Here's some what my wife and I were told by the hospital and at a baby care basics class:

Baby powder? Not a chance.

Plain old diaper rash ointment? Nopes. A type with zinc oxide is preferable now.

Off-the-shelf baby wipes? Nope. Viva paper towels or ultra-soft cloths, moistened with water.

Baby sleep on belly in crib? No! Always on back.

Bumper in crib? Nope. Nothing in the crib.

Baby sleeps in the nursery? Baby stays with mommy and daddy in their bedroom for the first six months now.

Other things are different, too! Even the hospital stay is different. As crazy as it sounds, the rooms in the maternity ward at the hospital where my wife had Baby M were near on par with a hotel room! Full bathrooms and they provide soap, shampoo, lotion, towels, etc. A sleeper chair for the daddy. Hospital provided junk food and k-cup coffee and tea on the floor. 24/7 food service.

FWIW, the "sleeper" chair is horrible! It is so uncomfortable that I think the hospital chose it specifically to give the new parents another reason to go home as quickly as possible.

Robert

Congrats man!

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Grateful11

It might have been longer than 2 weeks, it was 21 years ago

I freaked my mom out a few times doing things I probably shouldn't have, I must have had a fairly quick recovery. I do remember not being able to roll over to sleep on my side for the first few weeks, but I had the same problem after gall bladder surgery.

Congratulations!

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Formerly known as Dennis R

Congratulations....exciting times ahead!

!!snoitalutargnoC

i got bubkas, but MAZEL TOV !!!

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Pam
Wow! I'm amazed at the harsher restrictions than I had. My daughter is 23. She was born at 1am on a Wed and we went home Fri morning. No stairs for 2 weeks. No driving for 2 weeks. I don't remember any specific lifting instructions other than using common sense.

My daughter is 25, so I think the six weeks thing might just vary by hospital or location. I think the six weeks no stairs or driving thing was for any abdominal surgery, IIRC. They also only kept me for like two days, after my daughter was born. I did not really feel like I was ready to leave, but since I didn't have a fever, out I went. I was pretty weak afterwards because I had about 12 hours of labor at home and then 12 more at the hospital, with no sleep to speak of for almost 36-48 hours before the C-section, so I was just exhausted. I had only planned to have one child, but boy that really sealed the deal. The release after two days thing was mostly insurance driven, I think. Used to, say 60 years ago, they kept women like 10 days for a C-section, but the way they went in was also more invasive.

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Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)

I'm going to have to join the chorus of "no advice, but congratulations".
I'm so happy for you all! It's lovely that so many here do have good advice for you. Have a great time getting to know Neil!

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Congrats!

Nice pic, and definitely...CONGRATS!!!

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Pam
Wow! I'm amazed at the harsher restrictions than I had. My daughter is 23. She was born at 1am on a Wed and we went home Fri morning. No stairs for 2 weeks. No driving for 2 weeks. I don't remember any specific lifting instructions other than using common sense.

My daughter is 25, so I think the six weeks thing might just vary by hospital or location. I think the six weeks no stairs or driving thing was for any abdominal surgery, IIRC. They also only kept me for like two days, after my daughter was born. I did not really feel like I was ready to leave, but since I didn't have a fever, out I went. I was pretty weak afterwards because I had about 12 hours of labor at home and then 12 more at the hospital, with no sleep to speak of for almost 36-48 hours before the C-section, so I was just exhausted. I had only planned to have one child, but boy that really sealed the deal. The release after two days thing was mostly insurance driven, I think. Used to, say 60 years ago, they kept women like 10 days for a C-section, but the way they went in was also more invasive.

Ha! My water broke early Fri, they induced Sat morning, then figured out Sun morn that I had just sprung a leak. Meanwhile contractions went back to 6 min but were so strong I couldn't talk/eat/sleep. Had to go back to the hospital Sun and Mon night to get some drugs so I could get some form of rest. Tues night I said that was enough. I hadn't slept normally in 4 nights and had barely eaten in 5 days. But I was definitely ready to go home and get away from that place.

Welcome, Neil!! Congrats, mattkime and Mom!! Best wishes for a quick recovery and wonderful new life!!

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rj
AKA
Vreemac, Moth of the Future

Congrats!

My first was a C and it wasn't the easiest recovery. I did lose a lot of blood, and couldn't get up and about for at least 24 hours, probably closer to 36-48. That said, I remember trying to walk to the back of a Barnes & Noble two weeks later (baby was early and I wanted to get a baby book) and I was so exhausted I couldn't believe it. Walking back to the car was even worse. So, recovery varies, but there is no way I could have cared for our baby two weeks after delivery. Maybe 4, but most likely 6 weeks would have been needed to handle everything solo.

My sister has had a postpartum doula since having twins and she has been a lifesaver. I'd look into that if possible. I know you're thinking of daycare, but another option is to hire a nanny of some sort to put off daycare. We had trouble getting into any daycares (and I starting applying when three months pregnant!), and decided to hire a nanny for the first year and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Of course, we were in a smaller midwestern city so a nanny was much more affordable than in a major city on a coast.

Good luck!
Sarah

New Baby Leader!! Congratulations!!!

Everything Robert said.

No advice on the C-section, things worked out so that Mrs. Zealand was an all-natural birther so her recovery procedures were different.

Awwwwwwww!!!!!!

SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

SO PERFECT!!!!!

SO INCREDIBLE!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

LOVE IN DA HOUSE!!!!

Congratulations Matt!!

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Thanks for all the well wishes! I'm in a state of shock and awe (in a good way!) of the wonderful new child my beautiful wife and I created. There are a lot of clichés about this sort of think but it really is humbling.

Mama is doing really really well, to the point that I'm taking a wait and see approach. She's moving around with little trouble. When I had my hernia surgery it took an extra day for the pain to really hit me. I hope she gets to skip that but I'm prepared if she isn't. As far as work is concerned I'm taking a wait and see approach before rearranging my parental leave plans.

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/09/2015 06:24PM by mattkime.

Would you look at that? Beautiful. Congrats and and a speedy recovery.

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Congratulations! He's beautiful.

Congratulations on the birth of your child.

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It is what it is.