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Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Black
Date: December 31, 2015 12:51AM
Poll
Number of people (IRL) I'm not speaking to:
Only registered users are allowed to vote for this poll.
28 votes were received.
One 7
 
25%
Two or Three 6
 
21%
Probably somewhere around five 3
 
11%
Probably somewhere between five and ten 0
 
0%
More than ten but probably less than twenty 0
 
0%
More than twenty 2
 
7%
I used to but I stopped being able to remember who I wasn't speaking to or why 0
 
0%
I don't play that way. Not speaking to someone is a sign of emotional problems/pettiness/etc. 10
 
36%
I certainly do the "not speaking to someone" thing, just don't have anyone on the list at the moment. 0
 
0%



Not including this forum....




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Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2015 12:56AM by Black.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: mstudio
Date: December 31, 2015 06:45AM
Quote
Black
Not including this forum....

Glad you clarified thatsmile smiley

I'm not the sort of person that holds a grudge. That being said, there are a few people that have wronged me in town that I am definitely cold toward. I don't go out of my way to speak to them but will if I have to. I'm not totally unfriendly to them, I just don't trust them anymore. This is out of character for me, but some things are hard to get past and frankly, life is too short to deal with @#$%&.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: bazookaman
Date: December 31, 2015 06:54AM
Yes. But for a strange reason. With relative anonymity, I can say this here. I started working at my current job in January of 2013. So tomorrow starts my 4th year here. We have a modest sized company. 90 people in 3 locations. And I know everyone. I guess mostly b/c I am in marketing and I talk to everyone at some point. Plus I'm responsible for the employee directory which puts names to faces.

Anyway, I speak to everyone at my location and others when I visit. But at my location, I talk to everyone. Except one person. One single solitary person. Why you ask? I really have no idea. When I started there three years ago, I went through that awkward "getting to know everyone" phase. As does everyone. But I did get to know everyone. Except this one guy. Everyone was reciprocal in my getting to know everyone. Except this one guy. I say good morning to anyone I see in the morning. I make small talk at the coffee maker. I walk out to the warehouse and talk to the folks out there. Accounting. Purchasing. HR. Etc. Except...for this one guy. He barely acknowledges my existence. He walks down the hall and says good morning to all...except me. He MIGHT nod in my general direction. That's about it. I've tried. I'm friendly. I say good morning. Or whatever. But I get nothing.

I've told no one about this except one person. She thinks it's hilarious. As do I. It doesn't hurt my feelings or anything. It's just plain weird. If I hadn't just started working there three years ago, I would swear I'd done something to wrong him in some way. My wife thought it was b/c I took a position he was aspiring to. I say he is a delivery driver who works in the warehouse so probably not. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So i go about my daily routine. As i said, he's a delivery driver so I see him less than most. Ah, but he's a delivery driver. So maybe he just hasn't gotten to know me yet? No. I know and speak to all the other delivery drivers too. Like I said. It's just weird.

Oh. And my stepmother. I definitely try to NEVER talk to her.







Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2015 06:55AM by bazookaman.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Robert M
Date: December 31, 2015 07:05AM
mstudio,

Well said. I feel the same way about several people. I don't go out of my way to speak or do anything for them. If I must have contact with these people, I'm civil but that's about it. There are definitely times when I want to through civility out the window and let loose on the person but it most assuredly isn't worth it - definitely better to keep those feelings in check. Sometimes it isn't even about having wronged me. Far more often, it's the individual, his/her personality and the fact that dealing with him/her makes life miserable to the point that you want to close your eyes, cover your ears and scream until you're hoarse. I have neither the time nor the inclination to deal with people like that anymore and avoid them when possible.

Robert



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2015 07:06AM by Robert M.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Onamuji
Date: December 31, 2015 07:27AM
Do girlfriends/boyfriends/SOs count?

I had a seemingly-casual thing with a sweet girl a few years ago, talked a couple of times each week and hung out once or twice a month. She insisted that we had the perfect relationship and said she didn't want to get serious. Then she suddenly started calling and texting me dozens of times a day -- while I was at work -- for trivial little stuff.

Not intimate, just trivial -- like "I saw a funny hat. Call me!!"

I asked her not to call and text me so much while I was at work and she detonated like the Trinity bomb. Never did find out what primed that explosion, but was greatly relieved when after 3 days of her calling and screaming at me and sending me emails with seemingly endless rants in indecipherable code she finally stopped. (Seriously. Three straight days. I don't think she slept.)

From various conversations, 'seems that lots of guys have had relationships end like this, tho perhaps not so late in life. It's usually a college sophomore experience.







Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2015 07:31AM by Onamuji.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: DP
Date: December 31, 2015 07:56AM
she finally stopped

I think you were lucky on that one!





Resident Cardinal...








Disclaimer: This post is checked for correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Any attempts at humor are solely the responsibility of the author and bear no claim that any and all readers will approve or appreciate said attempt at humor.
My name is DP, and I approve this message.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: ka jowct
Date: December 31, 2015 08:18AM
I still speak to the person I counted as one, but have restricted my interaction with this person to the minimum. Just too difficult to deal with, and no real upside.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: GuyGene
Date: December 31, 2015 08:25AM
You know, to me, there are just some universal common human decencies that everyone needs to know and live by. Even among all of our different personalities and cultures. I'm sorry to all you northern boys, but even though I've lived in Asia (Japan) for many years, travelled all over the world, lived in San Francisco, as a southerner, I still have the hardest time in American northern culture. I have to consciously remind myself that, no, y'all don't really mean to seem so rude at times, it's just the culture...surrender

So, to the question: one neighbor of mine here in the Deep South is from Connecticut. I ALWAYS try to speak to him, but the old boy just doesn't seem to understand that in Southern culture, it's considered very rude to not greet back. My other neighbors are from New York and Minnesota. They always speak. I still speak to my Connecticut neighbor, but he's trying my patience a bit.



That old man - he don't think like no old man...
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Black
Date: December 31, 2015 08:36AM
Quote
Onamuji
Do girlfriends/boyfriends/SOs count?
Absolutely!
Quote


I had a seemingly-casual thing with a sweet girl a few years ago, talked a couple of times each week and hung out once or twice a month. She insisted that we had the perfect relationship and said she didn't want to get serious. Then she suddenly started calling and texting me dozens of times a day -- while I was at work -- for trivial little stuff.

Not intimate, just trivial -- like "I saw a funny hat. Call me!!"

I asked her not to call and text me so much while I was at work and she detonated like the Trinity bomb. Never did find out what primed that explosion, but was greatly relieved when after 3 days of her calling and screaming at me and sending me emails with seemingly endless rants in indecipherable code she finally stopped. (Seriously. Three straight days. I don't think she slept.)

From various conversations, 'seems that lots of guys have had relationships end like this, tho perhaps not so late in life. It's usually a college sophomore experience.
A social worker I got to know on a fieldwork once said something that stuck with me- "we attract others at our own level of mental health." Not sure what made me think of that just now but I want to get it out there in case I get run over or something.




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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: CJsNvrUrly
Date: December 31, 2015 08:47AM
I have to vote for "None of the above". I limit my interaction with several toxic people, like mstudio and RobertM said.




bunny smileyCentral VA
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: rgG
Date: December 31, 2015 08:47AM
I have people I avoid, so that I don't have to speak to them, does that count? smiling smiley
As GuyGene pointed out, if you live in the Deep South, you are pretty much obligated to speak to people, even if you don't want to. Down here purposefully not speaking to someone is like a slap in the face to them, so you better really mean it, when you don't speak.
Oh, and I don't speak to my next door neighbor, and she can interpret that as a slap in the face if she wants to. grinning smiley





Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: blooz
Date: December 31, 2015 09:17AM
Only my ex-wife, and only because she regards me as less than human. I buried the hatchet years ago and would be friends if she wanted but she doesn't. Happily we live in different states so no bother to me. i think it bothers the children tho.
Otherwise there are people I don't really warm up to and/or don't warm up to me. Nothing against them, but I only talk when necessary.



And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
Western Massachusetts
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Black
Date: December 31, 2015 09:24AM
A little surprised at the notion expressed in several posts here that purposely not speaking to someone is not taken as rude or impolite among us northerners. Really?




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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: NewtonMP2100
Date: December 31, 2015 09:35AM
.....most of the co-workers......???

.....the Millenials (blech!)...........



_____________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Robert M
Date: December 31, 2015 09:53AM
Black,

Agreed. As a northerner, if I greet someone, I appreciate a greeting in return. Ignoring a pleasant greeting is definitely impolite. I'd go as far to say it's poor manners. Unfortunately, it is becoming the norm in society.

I used to walk with my wife to the station every morning before the birth of Baby M. On the way to and from, I'd say, "good morning!" or "'morning" to people as we passed each other. Always with a smile. It's just me being me.

At first, people seemed surprised. It was as if they don't expect a polite greeting in this day and age. But, after a while, people would greet me back just as happily as I greeted them.

This always made my day a little more pleasant. smiling smiley

I'll admit, though, if I pass one of the people who I'd rather not know, I'll still offer the greeting because it's the kind of person I am but it isn't remotely as pleasant. It's just be a basic blah civil kind of greeting that pretty much says, "Yups, I recognize that you exist."

Robert
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Tiki2000
Date: December 31, 2015 09:53AM
Interesting the observations about northern vs southern.

As a Northerner (MN) who has been working in the South (GA/SC) for the past few years, I find the people around me ‘overshare’. My recollection of my years in MN was that you acknowledged the other persons existence by nod, and worst case if you had to talk, it was about the weather. Never anything deeper than that. I know way more about my office neighbors here than I want to; it just seems to be the way that they are.

As to the topic of the thread, I don’t specifically NOT talk to someone if they start. However , there are a few individuals with whom I keep the discussion ‘short’ & business related.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: mstudio
Date: December 31, 2015 10:36AM
Quote
Tiki2000
Interesting the observations about northern vs southern.

As a Northerner (MN) who has been working in the South (GA/SC) for the past few years, I find the people around me ‘overshare’.

It might be more of a small town vs. big town thing, at least for me.
I was born in Chicago and lived there until I was 47. People were friendly but you really didn't make a lot of eye contact while walking down the street. We moved to a small town of 2500 almost 20 years ago and people thought I was unfriendly since I didn't immediately talk to everyone about everything!

I still think it's sort of funny but am happy I can still slip into my "Chicago" state of mind when I'm back there.

This is an interesting thread and has gotten me to think a little more about my two ex-friends. Because it's a small town, I do have more opportunity to run into them. Maybe for the new year I should bury the hatchet? Nah, they are still @#$%& that really aren't worth a lot of my time. smile smiley

I don't know why I keep getting censored... I only called them @#$%&.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Bernie
Date: December 31, 2015 10:41AM
I am an Aquarius and will talk to anyone and everyone. Born and raised in Virgini and somewhat traveled.
Some people ...... are just a waste of breath. I accommodate them with mutual silence and space.





Staunton, Virginia
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: billb
Date: December 31, 2015 10:54AM
.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: December 31, 2015 11:02AM
Currently my brother's GF, tho it's by her choice. The brother will be put on ignore when/if he ever completes the job of being executor.



In tha 360. MRF User Map
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Black
Date: December 31, 2015 12:12PM
Quote
Robert M
Black,

Agreed. As a northerner, if I greet someone, I appreciate a greeting in return. Ignoring a pleasant greeting is definitely impolite. I'd go as far to say it's poor manners. Unfortunately, it is becoming the norm in society.

I used to walk with my wife to the station every morning before the birth of Baby M. On the way to and from, I'd say, "good morning!" or "'morning" to people as we passed each other. Always with a smile. It's just me being me.

At first, people seemed surprised. It was as if they don't expect a polite greeting in this day and age. But, after a while, people would greet me back just as happily as I greeted them.

This always made my day a little more pleasant. smiling smiley

I'll admit, though, if I pass one of the people who I'd rather not know, I'll still offer the greeting because it's the kind of person I am but it isn't remotely as pleasant. It's just be a basic blah civil kind of greeting that pretty much says, "Yups, I recognize that you exist."

Robert

Strange... not sure how this turned into being about greeting people. Guess I wasn't clear enough.




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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Black
Date: December 31, 2015 12:13PM
Quote
mstudio
Maybe for the new year I should bury the hatchet? .
Now that sounds like a southern thing...




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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: billb
Date: December 31, 2015 12:25PM
Burying the hatchet is an ancient native american and canadian tribal practice
it was a means to solidify and symbolize a peace agreement between tribes and even brothers
they supposedly actually did bury hatchets in the ground

without a written language to record agreements symbolism becomes binding



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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2015 12:29PM by billb.
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Of course.
Posted by: RAMd®d
Date: December 31, 2015 12:37PM
I don't "hold a grudge" but I do remember why I don't talk to some people.

It can be their work ethic (and often lack of same) or they're just bad people.

There are more than enough good people that I have no problem not talking to or ignoring those who'd waste my time.

I don't return the greetings of those people. They see it as holding some grudge; I know it as most leopards don't change their spots, and invoke the Fool Me Once… doctrine. They get the message or I remind them.

It's best for all concerned.






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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Black
Date: December 31, 2015 12:49PM
So, uh. someone who came along relatively late to this party checked "more than 20...."




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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: wave rider
Date: December 31, 2015 12:54PM
I don't talk to about 7.349 billion people. Mainly because I never encounter them.

There are only a few people that I prefer to avoid altogether. As an INFP, I always seek harmony with others. It took a long time to realize that harmony is not always required...

=wr=
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Robert M
Date: December 31, 2015 01:05PM
Black,

It's related to the original topic. There are many people who don't speak to per say but greet them to maintain a level of civility. It would be different if I rarely saw them but that is not the case.

Robert
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: December 31, 2015 03:27PM
Quote
billb
.

Agreed!



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Onamuji
Date: December 31, 2015 05:51PM
Quote
Black
A social worker I got to know on a fieldwork once said something that stuck with me- "we attract others at our own level of mental health." Not sure what made me think of that just now but I want to get it out there in case I get run over or something.

Are you dating the same girl?



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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: N-OS X-tasy!
Date: December 31, 2015 06:07PM
Quote
billb
.

I see what you did/didn't do there.



It is what it is.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: DP
Date: December 31, 2015 06:26PM
Quote
mstudio
Quote
Tiki2000
Interesting the observations about northern vs southern.

As a Northerner (MN) who has been working in the South (GA/SC) for the past few years, I find the people around me ‘overshare’.

It might be more of a small town vs. big town thing, at least for me.
I was born in Chicago and lived there until I was 47. People were friendly but you really didn't make a lot of eye contact while walking down the street. We moved to a small town of 2500 almost 20 years ago and people thought I was unfriendly since I didn't immediately talk to everyone about everything!

I still think it's sort of funny but am happy I can still slip into my "Chicago" state of mind when I'm back there.

This is an interesting thread and has gotten me to think a little more about my two ex-friends. Because it's a small town, I do have more opportunity to run into them. Maybe for the new year I should bury the hatchet? Nah, they are still @#$%& that really aren't worth a lot of my time. smile smiley

I don't know why I keep getting censored... I only called them @#$%&.

This. Someone walking by you in the Big City that smiles is immediately assumed to be crazy or getting ready to beg for something! But I do think it's a city vs. country thing.
GuyGene; I think it's just that one guy from Connecticut...





Resident Cardinal...








Disclaimer: This post is checked for correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Any attempts at humor are solely the responsibility of the author and bear no claim that any and all readers will approve or appreciate said attempt at humor.
My name is DP, and I approve this message.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Speedy
Date: January 01, 2016 03:40PM
My mother died about six years ago. She had dementia that was serious enough to require a paid-by-my-mother caregiver. That caregiver was my stepfather's daughter who also lived with them and who is also my age. This caregiver killed my mother, who lived 250 miles from me, by not hydrating her, something she had tried six months earlier but that I took care of when this caregiver notified me my mother was dying. The caregiver decided not to make that mistake twice so she only notified us after my mother had died. Even though I see them on occasion, I never speak to her. The caregiver was formerly a registered nurse who lost her license after raiding the hospital drug supply.



Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.
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Re: Nosy Thursday Poll- do you have people you're not speaking to?
Posted by: Wags
Date: January 01, 2016 09:19PM
What better way to annoy someone with which you have bad blood then to constantly talk to them?
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