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An oldie
Posted by: ka jowct
Date: October 13, 2016 05:48PM
Going through some old emails just now, I came across this from the dawn of the current century. Apparently there were a lot more ""Forward this e-mail to save the whatever" emails circulating then:

Quote

Subject: Help this kid!

I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick.

I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep. The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad. I hope you will help me.

You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you forward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA.

Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't forward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless poop-face who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a
head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death so you can burn forever in hell. What kind of heartless person are you that you can't take five f***ing minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy? Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You.

Billy 'Smiles' Evans The boy with just a head, and a burlap sack for a body.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 10/13/2016 08:50PM by ka jowct.
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Re: An oldie
Posted by: modelamac
Date: October 13, 2016 07:44PM
That is hilarious!



Ed (modelamac)

I think I will just put an OUT OF ORDER
sticker on my head and call it a day.
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Re: An oldie
Posted by: N-OS X-tasy!
Date: October 13, 2016 11:01PM
And not one Nigerian to be found.



It is what it is.
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Re: An oldie
Posted by: Lew Zealand
Date: October 13, 2016 11:12PM
And I thought I had read them all. Thanks, that was great!
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