An close acquaintance is going through a nasty divorce right now. It's already 6 months in the process. Her ex is asking for half or more of everything she owns, i.e. rental properties, savings, stocks, trustfunds (her kids from previous marriage), etc. Before the marriage he worked as a bouncers, and owned a martial art studio. During the 7 year marriage he never worked. Can he get a retirement payment from her? Is there such a thing as a retirement settlement? TiA

Kap

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SoCal for now.

HAH HAH HAH GOOD FOR HIM THERE IS A GOD!!!! YESSSS HE CAN NAIL HER FOR THE RETIREMENT!!!!!!!

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He may be entitled to a share of any IRA or retirement plan that she had, but laws vary by state and circumstance. Only her lawyer will be able to give her a real answer.

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Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)

kap Wrote:
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> During the 7 year marriage he never
> worked.

Wow! I obviously married the wrong kind of woman.

I agree with rgG.
If they live in a community property state, he may be able to get at her pension. If she can prove that some of the assets were hers before the marriage, she may be able to fight it. She needs an aggressive divorce attorney.

Yup. . .what everyone said. . .depends on state. . .community property law. . .etc.

Consult with an attorney. . .

(Oh and ignore the bitterness display above. . .)

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_____________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

6 months? Meh, mine took almost 7 YEARS!

The divorce process (and it was very nasty) was almost as long as the marriage (11 years).

If her assets are substantial, and it sounds like it from the description you gave, then she needs to have a lawyer that will be very agressive in her corner.

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Aloha, Ken


“I have developed significant attachments to several members even though I wouldn't recognize them if I sat next to one on a park bench. I'm often tempted when in an airport to walk around, hollering "The Løpe", to see if anyone other than the Homeland Security people will acknowledge me. ” - The Løpe

"If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox in politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion, or force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein. If there are any circumstances which permit an exception, they do not now occur to us." Justice Robert Jackson

What is good for the goose, is good for the gander.

BGnR

I agree that it's a fair game in war and love ( ... glancing at my S/O ... oh, she is still sweet

There is no company pension involved. This 39 year old woman works for herself. Her 36 year old ex was the golden apple of her eyes until she asked him to get a job. He refused because he strongly believed her earning was good for both of them and the three kids (he couldn't handle the step-father's basic role. We have seen him in actions. It was pathetic!) He didn't even want to get a part-time job. Man, where is one's self-respect? I guess I just don't understand where the retirement payment comes from. Anyway, from what I heard from my S/O the lawyers of both parties are very aggressive and creative as hell. CA divorce laws are very advantageous to the partner who doesn't have much possession of her/his own, correct? Also, there are lawyers who actually encourage a marriage counceling first, then a mediator.

I knew a co-worker who married four times. Her divorces were all ugly but she isn't giving up that there is a prince out there. Ugh! Well, just look at Elizabeth Taylor.

Kap

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SoCal for now.

kap Wrote:
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> I agree that it's a fair game in war and love (
> ... glancing at my S/O ... oh, she is still sweet
>
>
> There is no company pension involved. This 39 year
> old woman works for herself. Her 36 year old ex
> was the golden apple of her eyes until she asked
> him to get a job. He refused because he strongly
> believed her earning was good for both of them and
> the three kids (he couldn't handle the
> step-father's basic role. We have seen him in
> actions. It was pathetic!) He didn't even want to
> get a part-time job. Man, where is one's
> self-respect? I guess I just don't understand
> where the retirement payment comes from. Anyway,
> from what I heard from my S/O the lawyers of both
> parties are very aggressive and creative as hell.
> CA divorce laws are very advantageous to the
> partner who doesn't have much possession of
> her/his own, correct? Also, there are lawyers who
> actually encourage a marriage counceling first,
> then a mediator.
>
> I knew a co-worker who married four times. Her
> divorces were all ugly but she isn't giving up
> that there is a prince out there. Ugh! Well, just
> look at Elizabeth Taylor.
>
> Kap
>
>

Some Questions.:
What is a Stepfathers role? Explain the "pathetic" part please.
Did this man suddenly change his personality after marriage?
Why did she marry him?

California is a community property state, whatever is earned and acquired during the marriage is split, 50-50.

So the shoe is on the other foot and suddenly this guy is an ass?

She married a "StudBoy", and then expects him to get a job?
Sounds just like guys who marry "ArmCandy" and expect them to clean the toilets, cook dinner, do laundry, and actually enjoy it!

BGnR

BigGuynRusty Wrote:
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>
> Some Questions.:
> What is a Stepfathers role? Explain the "pathetic"
> part please.
Hiting the youngest one in the mouth just to get him to listen. Profanity was his English. Didn't care if the kids staying out late until the wife called home from work to remind him to check their whereabout. We don't have kids of our own so we can't claim to know parenthood. However, when we baby-sit our cousins, nephews and kids of our friends, I can vouch with utmost certainty that we take our 'parental' roles seriously. To avoid confusion and conflicts, we decline to baby-sit kids whose parents' disciplines do not match our teachings.

> Did this man suddenly change his personality after
> marriage?
We don't know him before we met them. But the two years we socialized were any indication ...

> Why did she marry him?
Not for money. He didn't have any. She really REALLY loved him. Besides, he was her tall dark and muscle bounded Englishman. We believe she still very much care for him.

> California is a community property state, whatever
> is earned and acquired during the marriage is
> split, 50-50.
>
Yup, we all know this by heart.

So the shoe is on the other foot and suddenly this
> guy is an ass?
>
Actually, he was a total embarrassment when he was drunk, then passed out. Good luck, getting him to admit that.

> She married a "StudBoy", and then expects him to
> get a job?
Hahaha, that was what I thought but S/O disagreed.

> Sounds just like guys who marry "ArmCandy" and
> expect them to clean the toilets, cook dinner, do
> laundry, and actually enjoy it!
>
> BGnR
>
In restrospect, she walked in with her eyes open and her brain shut ... a few times, she financially bailed him out of ligitation, and overdue personal debts.
However, it will end, he's got his American citizenship 6 months ago. Score 1 for him!

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SoCal for now.

geez he wasn't even legal???? well, it's a well worn means of income. Find some really desperate late 30 ish early 40ish profesional broad with a good income and just live off the fat of the land. Next she'll probably marry some guy on death row or something.

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Guitarman,
Desperate? No. She's a darn good-looking brunette I am tellin' ya! Lonely? YES! It's her third. Hope she's learnt. But then again, has Elizabeth or Zsa Zsa Gabor?

Kap

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SoCal for now.

what always pisses me off is if a couple gets married the woman can stay home and take care of the kids and it's ok but if the man stays home to take care of the kids he has no self-respect , this guy sounds like a mess and i fell sorry for her.

d0e Wrote:
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> what always pisses me off is if a couple gets
> married the woman can stay home and take care of
> the kids and it's ok but if the man stays home to
> take care of the kids he has no self-respect
Yes, indeed, it is unfair but it takes time for most of us to adapt to the changing world. There are good house husbands out there though not as many because most men are still the bread winners. Hopefully, a day will come when there will be more more women earn higher income so that their husbands can be a stay-at-home fathers.

> this guy sounds like a mess and i fell sorry for
> her.
Like my mom says, "the lid fits the pan". They were for 7 years.

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SoCal for now.

KAP --

PM me with this woman's name, email and phone number.

I think it is about time she start considering a new relationship--someone to care and stand by her during this awful process.

(does she have a house on the beach?)

A guy wants to take money from a girl? He should turn in his GUY CARD.

Kap Quote.:
"Hiting the youngest one in the mouth just to get him to listen. Profanity was his English. Didn't care if the kids staying out late until the wife called home from work to remind him to check their whereabout. We don't have kids of our own so we can't claim to know parenthood. However, when we baby-sit our cousins, nephews and kids of our friends, I can vouch with utmost certainty that we take our 'parental' roles seriously. To avoid confusion and conflicts, we decline to baby-sit kids whose parents' disciplines do not match our teachings."

Kap, did you witness this behavior?
I can understand her psychosis, she has deep self esteem issues.
But I have three words for you. "Child Protection Services", why didn't you call?
An alleged "Friendship" is not worth children getting beaten and abused,

Kap Quote.:
"Desperate? No. She's a darn good-looking brunette I am tellin' ya! Lonely?"

These are the ones that fall easiest in to the abuse cycle, also, she is still a "girl", looking for approval, she has never emotionally grew up. I agree, the guy is a total dick, but she encouraged this behavior.
Was it Bill Hicks that said to girls, If you stop rewarding these @#$%& by giving them sex, they wouldn't be @#$%&!"

BGnR

LOL ... jimmypoo.
No house on the beach; just big one in Big Bear!

====
SteveJobs,
As I mentioned previously it's all fair in love and war.

====
BGnR,
"Kap, did you witness this behavior?
I can understand her psychosis, she has deep self esteem issues.
But I have three words for you. "Child Protection Services", why didn't you call?
An alleged "Friendship" is not worth children getting beaten and abused."

- Yes!
- Bulleye!
- It was rather complicated; they were warned, however.

"These are the ones that fall easiest in to the abuse cycle, also, she is still a "girl", looking for approval, she has never emotionally grew up. I agree, the guy is a total dick, but she encouraged this behavior.
Was it Bill Hicks that said to girls, If you stop rewarding these @#$%& by giving them sex, they wouldn't be @#$%&!"

- Ding! Ding! Ding! You hit the target again.
- Agree. It takes two.

Kap

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SoCal for now.

sounds to me like the "studboy" already had a job.Have you looked at some of these women lately?My gosh!! Money talks and studboys walk.

I didn't think this post would still generate responses

UPDATE: The divorce was final last May. She has a new boy friend now. A kind and honest guy (no studboy) with a good sense of self-respect and outstanding work ethic. In short she's happy now. As for her ex-studboy, he's living high and mighty with one mil of palimony saling his boat around the world.

Kap

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SoCal for now.