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Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: September 06, 2019 07:59AM
What do you get when you cross a pear and a carrot?












A parrot



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: September 06, 2019 08:46AM
Quote
pRICE cUBE
What do you get when you cross a pear and a carrot?





A parrot
RollingEyesSmiley5



**************************************
MacResource User Map: [www.zeemaps.com]#
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: September 06, 2019 08:47AM
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"



**************************************
MacResource User Map: [www.zeemaps.com]#
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: September 06, 2019 09:05AM




In tha 360. MRF User Map
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: September 06, 2019 11:16AM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: September 06, 2019 11:19AM
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: September 06, 2019 11:21AM
My wife left me because I am insecure.

No wait, she's back. She just went to get coffee.



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: voodoopenguin
Date: September 06, 2019 11:45AM
After 10 years, the wife starts to think their child looks rather strange, so she decides to have a D.N.A. test done.
As she suspected, she discovers the kid is actually from completely different parents.
So, she decides to ask her husband about it.
Wife: “Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.”
Husband: “What's up?”
Wife: “According to D.N.A. test results, this is not our kid.
Husband: “I guess you don't remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had pooped, and you said: "Please go change the baby; I'll wait for you here."
So, I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.”

Paul
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Grumpyguy
Date: September 06, 2019 04:46PM
That is cold and I like it!!!!!!

Quote
ztirffritz
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"



Bryan
______________________________________________________
Mac Mini 2.6 GHz, 16 GB ram Big Sur
MacBook Pro (Early 2008 model) 2.4 GHz, 4 GB ram, 200 GB hard drive/ Mac OS 10.9.1
iPhone XR
Location: Cincinnati
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Grumpyguy
Date: September 06, 2019 04:48PM




Bryan
______________________________________________________
Mac Mini 2.6 GHz, 16 GB ram Big Sur
MacBook Pro (Early 2008 model) 2.4 GHz, 4 GB ram, 200 GB hard drive/ Mac OS 10.9.1
iPhone XR
Location: Cincinnati
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Grumpyguy
Date: September 06, 2019 04:49PM
Another good one.

Quote
Rick-o
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.



Bryan
______________________________________________________
Mac Mini 2.6 GHz, 16 GB ram Big Sur
MacBook Pro (Early 2008 model) 2.4 GHz, 4 GB ram, 200 GB hard drive/ Mac OS 10.9.1
iPhone XR
Location: Cincinnati
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: RAMd®d
Date: September 06, 2019 09:50PM
I can see your feet.
I went for bread.
Stop being retarded and make dinner... lol


That's so wrong on so many levels, I LLOL'ed!






I am that Masked Man.

Your boos mean nothing to me, I've seen what you cheer for.

Insisting on your rights without acknowledging your responsibilities isn’t freedom, it’s adolescence.

I've been to the edge of the map, and there be monsters.

We are a government of laws, not men.

Everybody counts or nobody counts.

When a good man is hurt,
all who would be called good
must suffer with him.

You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

There is no safety for honest men except
by believing all possible evil of evil men.

We don’t do focus groups. They just ensure that you don’t offend anyone, and produce bland inoffensive products. —Sir Jonathan Ive

An armed society is a polite society.
And hope is a lousy defense.

You make me pull, I'll put you down.

I *love* SIGs. It's Glocks I hate.
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