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Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: November 01, 2019 05:31AM
What do you call an uncommitted shark?













Maybe shark doo doo doo doo doo doo...



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: November 01, 2019 09:27AM
I went to a temporary tattoo parlor yesterday and got a tattoo. This morning it wouldn't wash off so I went back to the parlor to complain, but it wasn't there.



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: ztirffritz
Date: November 01, 2019 09:34AM
When does a bad joke become a dad joke?

When the punchline becomes apparent



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: November 01, 2019 09:35AM
Hellen Keller walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: November 01, 2019 09:38AM
My wife packed my bags and kicked me out of the house.

As I walked out the front door, she screamed,
"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"

"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: testcase
Date: November 01, 2019 09:55AM
Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The waitress came over to take their orders. “And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?” She asked. The first vampire said, “I’ll have a mug of blood.” The second vampire said, “I’ll have a mug of blood.” The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, “I’ll have a glass of plasma.” The waitress wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender, “Two bloods and a blood light!”
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: timg
Date: November 01, 2019 10:02AM
What concert costs exactly 45 cents?




Fifty-cent with nickelback!



Skill without imagination is craftsmanship. Imagination without skill is Modern Art.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: tronnei
Date: November 01, 2019 11:12AM
What's Forest Gump's password?

1Forest1
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: lost in space
Date: November 01, 2019 11:32AM
Steven Wright is a hero of mine:

When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Yoyodyne ArtWorks
Date: November 01, 2019 12:13PM
Quote
Rick-o
Hellen Keller walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

Too soon.



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: voodoopenguin
Date: November 01, 2019 01:07PM
This joke was posted on another forum and possibly some were upset however although it's dark I think it highlights a serious matter.

Paul
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