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Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: DinerDave
Date: December 14, 2019 03:21PM
My MIL's viewing, sort of it's closed casket are Monday evening with the funeral on Tues. I'm guessing no tipping on the funeral services. What about the hired caterer for the after party? It is her own business and has a couple helpers for setup, replenishing and tear down. Not sure of protocol for these helpers. The owner did say they are well fed as she intentionally has abundant food so you don't run out. We are already paying $2,200 for this Italian Buffet.
Don't want to look cheap, but don't want to go broke on tips either.

'Dave



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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: Carnos Jax
Date: December 14, 2019 03:50PM
No on the funeral director. Not sure about caterer....if they were simply delivering the food, then no.
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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: mstudio
Date: December 14, 2019 03:51PM
If the helpers are really good and attentive, I would slip them 20 bucks each. If they suck and hate being there, then no.
Sorry to hear about your mother-in-law.
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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: Michael
Date: December 14, 2019 03:52PM
No tipping for the funeral director nor the owner of the catering service. If the helpers are helpful, tipping them would be appropriate but not as a percentage of a $2200 buffet.
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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: NewtonMP2100
Date: December 14, 2019 04:10PM
......funeral no....they are already making a lot on the 'mark up'........caterer.....only if they do an exception job and then only to the people who work it, not the caterer directly........



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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2019 04:10PM by NewtonMP2100.
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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: vision63
Date: December 14, 2019 04:28PM
Not really expecting the bereaved to worry about tipping. I can't imagine anyone expecting to come out of pocket for yet more money. People beg in the streets to gather money to pay for funerals (I'm some of them actually use it to do so). Everyone knows how expensive funerals are and it's something that wasn't a desired outcome. I'm a big tipper and I say no to tipping.
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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: Ammo
Date: December 14, 2019 05:18PM
What everyone else has said so far. I believe it is customary to pay an honorarium to any clergy who officiate.



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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: DinerDave
Date: December 14, 2019 05:42PM
Quote
Michael
No tipping for the funeral director nor the owner of the catering service. If the helpers are helpful, tipping them would be appropriate but not as a percentage of a $2200 buffet.

Thanks for the input from all.
Michael is just about what I was feeling, then when my wife asked me about this, I began to wonder.

Thanks,
Dave



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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: Bill in NC
Date: December 14, 2019 08:07PM
Quote
Ammo
What everyone else has said so far. I believe it is customary to pay an honorarium to any clergy who officiate.

Yep, and a contribution to the band fund if a church band performs.
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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: space-time
Date: December 14, 2019 08:19PM
I am not tipping anyone at my funeral
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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: NewtonMP2100
Date: December 14, 2019 09:25PM
.....don't give anyone.......just a tip........



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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: chopper
Date: December 15, 2019 11:04AM
Sister in law is a funeral director, which I guess is what they call a mortician now. She is 10 years younger than my wife and looks 10-15 years older. She can tell 100% ghastly stories of bodies being scraped up, ugly suicides, farm equipment accidents and or sawing tibias out of the floor pan of a car so a body can be removed from a head on collision at highway speeds, etc.

Trust me, tipping ain't gonna help.
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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: RAMd®d
Date: December 15, 2019 12:25PM
I too tip well, and a funeral just isn't the place.

It's a remembrance, not an 'event'.

If somebody was gauche enough to make an event out of it, which is not uncommon, sure tip the band, the hired help, etc.

Anybody expecting a tip from a funeral service should be ashamed and then soundly thrashed.





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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: December 15, 2019 12:57PM
After party. That just doesn't seem right. It sounds like you're celebrating her death. I'm no expert, but isn't wake more appropriate?

Not judging, just musing.

No real knowledge about tipping, but the folks who have commented earlier seem to have a handle on it. I agree with tipping the catering staff. IF the service they provided was good.



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Re: Do you tip a funeral director? What about the catereer for the after party?
Posted by: Janit
Date: December 18, 2019 08:16AM
In my experience with Jewish funerals, if the family is not affiliated with any congregation, there will be a fee for the rabbi's services. If the family belongs to a congregation, then the rabbi (and the use of the building) are provided free of charge. In the latter case, it is customary to make a contribution to the rabbi's discretionary fund in memory of the deceased.
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