I give a very generous 4 figure amount to a certain local charity I like and encourage. However, during the year they write a flattering letter about my generosity and ask for more. Of course in a nice way, and for a new project.

I feel so guilty thinking I don’t feel like sending more money. I set aside a certain amount yearly for charities. I was born with a guilt complex and a chunk of my cash this year vanished with the Pandemic....so....do you ever feel guilt over not giving and giving?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2020 03:54PM by samintx.

If an organization did that to me, they would be much, much less likely to get any more money from me in the future. And I'd tell them that.

I would just ignore them and do exactly what I wanted to do in the first place.

It's a ratchet. No, no, not a racket: ratchet!

You are willing to donate X. Doesn't matter what the number value in X is, you're donating that. This means you may be able or interested in donating 1.5X or 2X and if they don't ask you, they lose out on a possible increase in donations. They've gotta ask, it's just how you run a charity. Perhaps there are ways to be more subtle about it than you're experiencing, however.

There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty but no reason to ding them for it either unless they are overly pushy. It's just what they are forced to do. Soliciting donations is tough work, and it is often going to rub people the wrong way. Just make sure you focus on causes or organizations that are meaningful to you.

That said, I'd be lying if I said I didn't hold a grudge against certain charities for this very reason. I recall many years ago receiving several threatening notices after refusing to renew a contribution I had made in previous years. I don't remember exactly what they said, but the language was ridiculously harsh—as if I was delinquent on a bill. I was pretty young and on a budget, and I just couldn't commit to it. Needless to say, over the 20 years since, I've focused on other charities.

<engage sarcasm> Tell them you will give them more money next year if they fire the person who is getting paid to ask people for more money.

Just be thankful they did not sell your name a charity donors list. Hopefully you don't get calls/letters from a half dozen other local charities like happened to me one time. I became more careful about who I donate to after that.

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In tha 360. MRF User Map

I give what I can when I can and feel no guilt about it. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

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MacResource User Map: [www.zeemaps.com]#

This is Charity Marketing 101. You are a live fish, so they will always throw another hook towards you. Don’t take it personally, it’s just the way of the world.

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I feel guilty over not giving to some charities.

But every time I donate, they send me so much mail that they quickly use up my whole donation on those solicitations, and they sell my info to what seems like every other charity in the world and while I can get off some mailing lists, others ignore my requests and they end up wasting tremendous resources trying to squeeze money out of me, which annoys me.

So, I've stopped donating to any organization that can't/won't take a simple anonymous gift. I feel bad that this restricts my ability to give to some organizations, but I think it's better overall if I don't encourage disreputable behavior.

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On the bright side, this charity offers you a great opportunity to reassess the thoughts and feelings you have about giving that led you to feel guilty about doing something nice in the first place.

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Yoyodyne ArtWorks
This is Charity Marketing 101. You are a live fish, so they will always throw another hook towards you. Don’t take it personally, it’s just the way of the world.

This.

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It is what it is.

Thanks. I’ll preach to myself and stop feeling guilty.

You should not feel guilty AT ALL. You should be commended for giving in the first place.

This is why I never, EVER, give to any charity where I have to give them my name or contact info. If I can't donate cash anonymously, forget it.

I've been watching my parents be harassed DAILY for contributions to a dozen causes, to the point where it's upsetting my mom every time the phone rings... I've BEGGED them to just STOP FEEDING THE BASTARDS and they will leave them alone... AFTER they change their phone number.

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Paul F.
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A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
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Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.
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Eureka, CA

If the guilt becomes overwhelming, just make a check out to:

Speedy
1600 Pennsylvania Ave
10120

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Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.

This is normal behavior for non-profits. Once you are tagged as "interested in helping" they usually assign you to someone who helps match you to giving opportunities. Sometimes this person is just a call center worker contracted by the charity. It's best to just be honest about your giving goals and say thanks but no thanks to other opportunities. This minimizes wasted time on your part or the person calling.

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Ukulele music I couldn't find anywhere else.
[colquhoun.info]

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Paul F.
...I've BEGGED them to just STOP FEEDING THE BASTARDS and they will leave them alone... AFTER they change their phone number.

A couple of places were still calling and mailing my mom for donations over 2 years after she died. I feel sorry for the next person who got the phone number after it was recycled.

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In tha 360. MRF User Map

Okay, this may be totally inappropriate (i.e., not for tender ears) and veers very slightly from the topic, but this very funny song about guilt and giving came immediately to my mind because of the thread title:
[youtu.be]
It was written for a charity fundraiser...

I have written to charities, telling them that I give in December and if I get any solicitations from them during the year by any means they will never get another dime.

Years ago, I made a small donation to a veteran’s group. With a month, I received FIVE more “beg-o-grams” from DIFFERENT veteran’s groups. The original bastiges obviously sold my name! That was it for me. The only thing I donate now is blood (I’m O-Neg).

I made a small donation to St. Jude and now I'll never need a return address label again.

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Central VA

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Filliam H. Muffman

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Paul F.
...I've BEGGED them to just STOP FEEDING THE BASTARDS and they will leave them alone... AFTER they change their phone number.

A couple of places were still calling and mailing my mom for donations over 2 years after she died. I feel sorry for the next person who got the phone number after it was recycled.

My mother died 18 years ago. As I was appointed guardian for her several years before that, her contact information was mine. I still get mailers fairly regularly, and the last phone solicitation was less than 5 years ago.

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testcase
Years ago, I made a small donation to a veteran’s group. With a month, I received FIVE more “beg-o-grams” from DIFFERENT veteran’s groups. The original bastiges obviously sold my name! That was it for me. The only thing I donate now is blood (I’m O-Neg).

A great many of the veterans groups are A) bogus, and B)many are run by just a few groups or individuals with multiple "charity" names. Might not even have sold your contact info, just passed it along within their group.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2020 04:04PM by JoeH.