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Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: April 23, 2021 10:14AM
What did the nose say to the finger?

Quit picking on me!







My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, “Just you wait!”



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Spiff
Date: April 23, 2021 10:56AM
The psychiatrist was talking to his patient who was lying on the comfy couch.

Psych: Are you ready?
Patient: Yeah
Psych: Can you stand it?
Patient: ??
Psych: No! That's why you are lying down!


Ba dum dum. Tshhhh.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Spiff
Date: April 23, 2021 11:18AM
Why do divers always roll BACKWARDS out of a boat?













If they rolled forwards, they would roll right into the boat.


Ba dum dum. Tshhhhh
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: MikeF
Date: April 23, 2021 11:54AM


And a trio for the music lovers:




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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Todd's keyboard
Date: April 23, 2021 12:02PM
Finances were tight, so I took a job at a pizza parlor.

I kneaded the dough.

T' kb
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: MrNoBody
Date: April 23, 2021 12:35PM
The only difference between death and taxes is that death
doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people
than golf has.

Remember, write to your Congressman.
Even if he can’t read, write to him.

-Will Rogers



39°36'17"N 75°44'43"W

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DemComm Records 2021 Greatest Hits
includes:
Taxman by Joe & Nancy's Rich Ice Cream Band
The Humpty Dance by The Harris-Brown Hookup
Lets Spend The Night Together by The Fang-Swalwell Gang
Díaz-Canel Is A Friend of Ours by The AOC Squad
My Old Kentucky Retirement Home by MitchMcC & The Soggy Boxer Boys
Burning Down The House by Merrick & The Goons
Back In the USSR by Bernie's Red Square Trio

patriot smiley
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: timg
Date: April 23, 2021 03:54PM


dual purpose hoodie ...



Skill without imagination is craftsmanship. Imagination without skill is Modern Art.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: April 23, 2021 04:48PM
Chicken Place names:

Number One With a Pullet

Peak Broil

FireFlocks

Prize Pulletzer

Roost Roast

Fit To be Fried

Wings Over The World

Best Of The Breast

Way Out Breast

Coop In A Carry-Out

Peck 'n' Order

Crispy Coop

Both Sides Now (full meal promotion)

Good Cluck!
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: testcase
Date: April 23, 2021 05:52PM
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch… Yeti never complains!


What did the wife name her newborn quadruplets?
Adolf, Rudolph, Get-off and Stay-off.


A woman phoned her husband on a cold day in Minnesota. Wife: “The car is not starting. Dashboard shows the sign of a person sitting on a toilet.” Husband: “What…?? Send me a picture.”

-4º



(Look again. It says -4 degrees.)
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