.....uhm......ok.....


Oklahoma Lawmaker Puts Out a Bounty for Bigfoot, Who Lives in Oklahoma

....Some states get to be popular states because of their big reputations, which attract visitors to make them backdrops for Instagram content. New York is where artists create ostensibly intellectual theme parks. California is where every teen gets a mansion. Florida is where a man throws an alligator into a Wendy’s. Oklahoma is pretty sure it’s the place where Bigfoot lives. Fine, Oklahoma, you can have this.

As ABC affiliate KOCO News 5 first reported, Oklahoma state Representative Justin Humphrey announced yesterday that the state has put out a statewide $3 million bounty for the live capture of Sasquatch. “We don’t hunt Bigfoot, nobody wants to harm Bigfoot,” Humphrey clarified. “We’re doing a live, humane capture.” The striking announcement wipes Illinois and Georgia off the Bigfoot map.

Stated reason Bigfoot lives in Oklahoma: a crew is shooting a Bigfoot documentary series primarily in Honobia, Oklahoma, which is the home of Bigfoot and site of the annual Bigfoot Festival and Conference. Oklahoma didn’t ask anybody if it could be Bigfoot Country. Oklahoma just claimed it—which is how you get ahead in America.

While the nation stuffs its dart guns and binoculars into Bigfoot bug-out bags, Oklahoma has limited time to think this through. Humphrey didn’t stipulate the description of the beast, nor did he in his previous bill proposing a Bigfoot hunting season. “Bigfoot” covers any stinking, hairy hominid of large build but as short as six feet tall, which describes any number of easily identifiable males roaming the North American region.

As KOCO has reported, Bigfoot researchers are pissed about Humphrey blowing up their spot, and wildlife officials see this for what it is: a cynical political ploy to sex up the otherwise dull woods. Micah Holmes of the Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation told KOCO that “we use science-driven research, and we don’t recognize Bigfoot in the state of Oklahoma.”

Representative Humphrey was unavailable to respond to Gizmodo’s request for comment, primarily in regards to whether this is a thing or what.......


feet......don't fail me now.......?!

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Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/28/2021 08:16PM by NewtonMP2100.

I thought bigfoot was from the Pacific Northwest? Oklahoma is a pretty big stretch.

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C(-)ris
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"Bigfoot” covers any stinking, hairy hominid of large build but as short as six feet tall, which describes any number of easily identifiable males roaming the North American region."

Ok

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Lemon Drop
"Bigfoot” covers any stinking, hairy hominid of large build but as short as six feet tall, which describes any number of easily identifiable males roaming the North American region."

Ok

Let's clarify: Just about any large stinking hairy person would classify; unfortunately, we have a sizable homeless population. I know of at least three, perhaps four, homeless camps that I've actually seen from the road as I was driving somewhere (two near the river, one near the grocery, and another I've heard about). The woods are scary around here as now you will unexpectedly run across someone who perhaps doesn't want to be found, and now the woods are worse. On the upside, Oklahoma can't make the $3 mil payment, much less pay for any genetic testing to PROVE that this is Bigfoot and not some pissed off, formerly tranked and currently kidnapped and illegally detained individual. Not to mention the large bearded and hairy not-homeless folks!

I would say "Only in Oklahoma!" but it appears that our legislatures are vying for Florida, as in "Previously-Florida-now-Oklahoma man".

Pretty safe offer since there will NEVER be an actual Bigfoot capture.

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Northern California Coast

Harry and the Hendersons (1987). As I recall, the Hendersons lived in Seattle.

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Northern California Coast

Need more granular details on this offer. Seems that enterprising folks could bilk the state for billions that it doesn't have.

If the Florida panhandle is Alabama South, what does that make Oklahoma, Texas North or Arkansas West?

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C(-)ris
I thought bigfoot was from the Pacific Northwest? Oklahoma is a pretty big stretch.

Everyone's gotta do a vacation now and then.

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It is what it is.

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steve...
Pretty safe offer since there will NEVER be an actual Bigfoot capture.

Correct. This is merely a lame attempt to drum up tourism from and by witless idiots.

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It is what it is.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/28/2021 11:35PM by N-OS X-tasy!.

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N-OS X-tasy!

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steve...
Pretty safe offer since there will NEVER be an actual Bigfoot capture.

Correct. This is merely a lame attempt to drum up tourism from and by witless idiots.

Is it? Or is it a jocular means of drumming up tourism that we are supposed to know is silly?

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$tevie
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Is it? Or is it a jocular means of drumming up tourism that we are supposed to know is silly?

akin to "Boaty McBoatface"

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$tevie

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N-OS X-tasy!

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steve...
Pretty safe offer since there will NEVER be an actual Bigfoot capture.

Correct. This is merely a lame attempt to drum up tourism from and by witless idiots.

Is it? Or is it a jocular means of drumming up tourism that we are supposed to know is silly?

You don't think there won't be plenty of folks who think this is a real thing?

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It is what it is.

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N-OS X-tasy!

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$tevie

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N-OS X-tasy!

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steve...
Pretty safe offer since there will NEVER be an actual Bigfoot capture.

Correct. This is merely a lame attempt to drum up tourism from and by witless idiots.

Is it? Or is it a jocular means of drumming up tourism that we are supposed to know is silly?

You don't think there won't be plenty of folks who think this is a real thing?

Probably. And probably a lot of others who will think it's a hoot and will go just to say they did.

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