…a 5 foot albino reticulated python.

Where? Well, you know….

Quote

"Shortly after he sat on the toilet the [65 year old resident of] Graz [Austria] -- by his own account -- felt a 'pinch' in the area of his genitals," the police statement said.

Quote

The snake, a constrictor native to Asia that can grow to more than 9 metres (29 feet) long, is thought to have escaped a neighbor's apartment unnoticed and slid into the toilet through the drains, though its exact route was still unclear, the police said.

NoNoNoNoNoNoooooo!

Fortunately, pythons are non-poisonous (although apparently not toothless), and the police are now talking to the 24 year old neighbor, who owns 11 such snakes.

“Hello, Allied Van lines, how soon can you have a truck to my place?”

New movie: Snakes in the Drain

And, Ewwwwwwwwwwwe

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Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)

......not bitten by......'one eyed snake'.....???

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_____________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

If that were me, I would have immediately assumed it was the Fluke Man from X Files and died of fright.

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Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


Phony Stark's Robot

That's why leaving the toilet seat in the upright position when not in use is a safety measure- Having to consciously put it down will allow one to check for stray pythons in the toilet bowl before sitting down.

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WARNING- If I posted a link in the above message, assume it is at minimum "NSFW- Language". Occasionally you'll be wrong.

Lie to me if you must, but don't lie to me and insult my intelligence in the same sentence.

Resist the Thought Police: George Orwell's book 1984 was meant as a warning, not an instruction manual.

"Political correctness is just intellectual colonialism and psychological fascism for the creation of thought crime" - Steve Hughes

What's my "Super Power"? I can make active threads go stone-dead with a single post. I try to use this power only for good and not for evil but, you know... stuff happens.

I always pray my toilet and anaconda are safe from stray pythons and my house safe from falling tigers.

A reptile expert contacted by the emergency services removed the snake from the toilet, cleaned it and returned it to its owner. Its victim was treated in hospital for minor injuries.

Oh, heck no!

He would have got that back as is, if not at least headless.

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I am that Masked Man.

All you can do, is all you can do.

There’s trouble — it's time to play the sound of my people.

Your boos mean nothing to me, I've seen what you cheer for.

Insisting on your rights without acknowledging your responsibilities isn’t freedom, it’s adolescence.

I've been to the edge of the map, and there be monsters.

We are a government of laws, not men.

Everybody counts or nobody counts.

When a good man is hurt,
all who would be called good
must suffer with him.

You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

There is no safety for honest men except
by believing all possible evil of evil men.

We don’t do focus groups. They just ensure that you don’t offend anyone, and produce bland inoffensive products. —Sir Jonathan Ive

An armed society is a polite society.
And hope is a lousy defense.

You make me pull, I'll put you down.

I *love* SIGs. It's Glocks I hate.

SEE! i knew those dudes in college who kept SNAKES in their dorm rooms were not being honest about the possibilities!

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If you want to fix our country, work with us in the states. statesproject.org

"Success isn't about how much money you make. It is about the difference you make in people's lives."--Michelle Obama

Quote
Thrift Store Scott
That's why leaving the toilet seat in the upright position when not in use is a safety measure- Having to consciously put it down will allow one to check for stray pythons in the toilet bowl before sitting down.

Inspired logical conclusion!

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=wr=

Quote
NewtonMP2100
......not bitten by......'one eyed snake'.....???

kinda seems that a two-eyed snake bit the one-eyed snake this time around.
Ouch.
==

I've got the 'Kombo Killer'. No surprises go unanswered

Little known fact: Woody's line in the first Toy Story movie was originally "There's a SNAKE on my JUNK!"

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It is what it is.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/06/2021 06:42PM by N-OS X-tasy!.

....what bites him......in the bedroom.....???

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I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Seems like a little nip is getting off lightly.

I mean it was a python.

If it had managed to get…wrapped around…anything down there really. And then started to…

…sssqqquuuuuueeeeeeeeezzze…

Well…

---

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit "what'll ya have?"
The rabbit says "I dunno. I'm only here because of Autocorrect.


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
As of July 16, 2022, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now available by simply dialing 988. The previous number, 1-800-273-8255, will remain active.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Quote
RAMd®d
removed the snake from the toilet, cleaned it.

Seems there’s more to this story.

---

Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.

Quote
Blankity Blank
Seems like a little nip is getting off lightly.

I mean it was a python.

If it had managed to get…wrapped around…anything down there really. And then started to…

…sssqqquuuuuueeeeeeeeezzze…

Well…

A Reticulated Python's teeth-





Yikes!

---

WARNING- If I posted a link in the above message, assume it is at minimum "NSFW- Language". Occasionally you'll be wrong.

Lie to me if you must, but don't lie to me and insult my intelligence in the same sentence.

Resist the Thought Police: George Orwell's book 1984 was meant as a warning, not an instruction manual.

"Political correctness is just intellectual colonialism and psychological fascism for the creation of thought crime" - Steve Hughes

What's my "Super Power"? I can make active threads go stone-dead with a single post. I try to use this power only for good and not for evil but, you know... stuff happens.

....the tooth......hurts.......

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_____________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Ooookay. Maybe not so lightly.

---

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit "what'll ya have?"
The rabbit says "I dunno. I'm only here because of Autocorrect.


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
As of July 16, 2022, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now available by simply dialing 988. The previous number, 1-800-273-8255, will remain active.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Quote
Thrift Store Scott

Quote
Blankity Blank
Seems like a little nip is getting off lightly.

I mean it was a python.

If it had managed to get…wrapped around…anything down there really. And then started to…

…sssqqquuuuuueeeeeeeeezzze…

Well…

A Reticulated Python's teeth-



Yikes!

Oh dear!

Maybe it would be better if it was poisonous.

How’d he get his junk free? I suppose once he squirted his intestines empty, the snake may have backed off.

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Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.

Quote
Speedy
How’d he get his junk free? I suppose once he squirted his intestines empty, the snake may have backed off.

This story is going to buy the responding paramedics beers at the bar for months.

---

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit "what'll ya have?"
The rabbit says "I dunno. I'm only here because of Autocorrect.


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
As of July 16, 2022, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now available by simply dialing 988. The previous number, 1-800-273-8255, will remain active.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

.....you gotta'......tap.......'dat booty.....when you can.....

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I reject your reality and substitute my own!