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Friday Funnies
Posted by: space-time
Date: November 05, 2021 06:28AM
I posted this very late last week... probably too late, so here we go again



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2021 07:07AM by space-time.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: November 05, 2021 07:16AM
Paul: “I’ve got problems with mathematics.”

Michael: “Me too.”

Eric: “Yeah, that makes four of us.”





Why didn’t the dinosaur cross the road?

Because there weren't even any roads during the Jurassic Period!





Police officer talks to a driver: Your tail light is broken, your tires must be exchanged and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars.


Driver: Alright, go ahead. They want twice as much as that at the garage.



Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Plant Goddess
Date: November 05, 2021 07:42AM
Getting gas this morning, I noticed the person before me on pump 3 bought $10.00 worth. Where the hell were they going? To pump 4?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: lost in space
Date: November 05, 2021 09:27AM
-My favorite allergy song is 'Blowin' in the Wind' by Peter Pollen Mary.

-Mr. Mackay was in the garden filling in a hole when his English neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what he was up to, he politely asked, 'What are you doing there, MacKay?' 'My goldfish died,' replied Mr. MacKay tearfully without looking up, 'and I've just buried him.' The English neighbor was very concerned. 'That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?' Mr. MacKay patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, 'That's because he's inside your cat.'



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Filliam H. Muffman
Date: November 05, 2021 09:33AM
There, I fixed it!







Missed one




Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2021 09:47AM by Filliam H. Muffman.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: November 05, 2021 10:04AM
My girlfriend is upset that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: November 05, 2021 10:11AM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: testcase
Date: November 05, 2021 11:18AM
I told my son that Facebook is changing its name to Meta. He asked, “What’s a meta?” I replied, “Nothing, what’s the meta with you?!” (Groan.)


I was robbed at the gas station today.
I called the Police and they asked if I knew who did it.
I said yes, Pump #6


If a man says he will fix it, he WILL fix it.
There's NO need to remind him every three months.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: apocketfulofwry
Date: November 05, 2021 12:47PM
Quote
space-time

Is it in?


Is it in? It's over.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2021 01:07PM by apocketfulofwry.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: tronnei
Date: November 05, 2021 04:23PM
I lost my wife’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: DinerDave
Date: November 05, 2021 06:20PM
Sign on the back of a big b ox truck...

"Tailgate Me To Test Your Airbags"

Dave



Welcome to Dave's BBQ!

Many have eaten here....

Few have died
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: November 05, 2021 06:44PM

'don't mind him, he's just looking for a free hug and a beer'



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2021 06:44PM by Steve G..
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: MrNoBody
Date: November 06, 2021 05:07AM


Verizon Customer Service: Your service will be restored, shortly...



39°36'17"N 75°44'43"W

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The search engine that doesn't track you.

DemComm Records 2021 Greatest Hits
includes:
Taxman by Joe & Nancy's Rich Ice Cream Band
The Humpty Dance by The Harris-Brown Hookup
Lets Spend The Night Together by The Fang-Swalwell Gang
Díaz-Canel Is A Friend of Ours by The AOC Squad
My Old Kentucky Retirement Home by MitchMcC & The Soggy Boxer Boys
Burning Down The House by Merrick & The Goons
Back In the USSR by Bernie's Red Square Trio

patriot smiley
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