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Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: February 18, 2022 08:14AM






Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Plant Goddess
Date: February 18, 2022 09:18AM
Made a joke about Al Gore inventing the internet in class today and I thought the joke fell flat until a girl spoke up 5 minutes later and asked if that's why they call it an algorithm.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: February 18, 2022 10:45AM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: February 18, 2022 12:01PM
A blonde got caught in a blizzard… It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her dad's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift.

This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.

After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time.

She said that she was fine and told him of her dad's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue following if she wanted but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to the K-mart next.



Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: February 18, 2022 12:03PM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: February 18, 2022 12:07PM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: S. Pupp
Date: February 18, 2022 12:36PM
From the Dealchat archives (certain political references removed):

Topic: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road (long)
Author:Monster(Registered User)
Date:01-16-03 10:57

RALPH NADER:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a gas-guzzling SUV.


MARTHA STEWART:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side. That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side."

DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The
chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it had a
serious case of molting yet went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE:
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death
its right to do it.

CAPTAIN KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDERsad smileyfrom the X-Files)
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have
to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads but
lay eggs, file our important documents, and balance your checkbook - and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt
cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: testcase
Date: February 18, 2022 01:39PM
I woke up this morning to find two birds sitting in the sun in our backyard eating ice cream. I couldn’t believe it! They were Basking Robins!
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: February 18, 2022 02:29PM




Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Spiff
Date: February 18, 2022 06:33PM
Price: That is one of my all time favorite cartoons. I use that cartoon regularly in discussions. Still gets me.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: PeterB
Date: February 20, 2022 07:47AM
I'm a little late to this party, but here are my obligatory cat funnies:

How to know when your cat is fully charged?:



About those unimaginative planetary names:






Freya says, 'Hello from NOLA, baby!' (Laissez bon temps rouler!)
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: SKYLANE
Date: February 20, 2022 06:46PM
Is that Thunderbird 2 in the second photo of the first post by pRICE cUBE?
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