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Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: March 04, 2022 07:48AM
Someone did not think this all the way through.





Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: mikebw
Date: March 04, 2022 08:15AM
I became a dentist because I like to make kids cry. They don't let regular doctors do that.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: lost in space
Date: March 04, 2022 09:02AM
A couple of businessmen were out playing a round of golf when they noticed a couple of women also playing golf in front of them. Or rather, they were standing and gossiping, laughing loudly and not moving on to the next hole.

"I'll go up and tell them to move aside for us," said the older businessman. "Just wait a mo."

The younger businessman sees him go up half-way to the women, pause, then trot back.

"I recognized them," he explained, with a sheepish grin. "One was my wife, and the other my mistress. I couldn't, well, you know, interrupt."

"Well, that should be no problem," the younger one said. "I'll tell them to move out of our way."

In a few minutes he was back, likewise with a sheepish grin. "It's a small world..." was all he said.



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: davemchine
Date: March 04, 2022 09:48AM




Ukulele music I couldn't find anywhere else.
[colquhoun.info]
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: richorlin
Date: March 04, 2022 10:49AM






richorlin
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Blankity Blank
Date: March 04, 2022 11:20AM




National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
As of July 16, 2022, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now available by simply dialing 988. The previous number, 1-800-273-8255, will remain active.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Lew Zealand
Date: March 04, 2022 11:23AM
Quote
Blankity Blank

This is my brain, every second of every day. Yet not quite as good as this...
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: PeterB
Date: March 04, 2022 11:33AM

















Freya says, 'Hello from NOLA, baby!' (Laissez bon temps rouler!)
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: MikeF
Date: March 04, 2022 11:42AM


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: March 04, 2022 01:16PM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Rick-o
Date: March 04, 2022 01:29PM




Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Steve G.
Date: March 04, 2022 03:09PM
is the opposite of Probiotics...Amateur-Biotics?
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Plant Goddess
Date: March 04, 2022 06:18PM
While on Earth, Doctor McCoy ordered a large quantity of bourbon for ”medicinal purposes“ on the Enterprise. Back aboard ship, he asked Spock if the captain could oversee its delivery personally. ”That request is highly illogical, doctor,“ replied Spock. ”The transporter staff are more than capable of handling your cargo. Why would you want the captain to operate the transporter himself?“ The doctor just smiled and drawled, ”Well, Spock, I'm surprised you don't already know! I just wanted to see how much Jim Beam Jim could beam if Jim could beam Jim Beam.“
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Plant Goddess
Date: March 04, 2022 06:25PM
This is an old one but here goes.
Long time friends Sylvia and Wanda meet up in Heaven.
Sylvia: Hi! Wanda
Wanda: Hi Sylvia. How'd you die?
Sylvia: I froze to death.
Wanda: How horrible!
Sylvia: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
Wanda: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
Sylvia: So, what happened?
Wanda: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down in the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
Sylvia: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.
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