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Friday Funnies
Posted by: pRICE cUBE
Date: September 09, 2022 11:24AM
I would give my dad what he really wants on Father's Day, but I can't afford to move out yet.





vA mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat.

"This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me."

The daughter nods in agreement.

"And I think this fur coat would be perfect too," the mother continued.

The daughter protests, "But mom, some poor, helpless creature had to suffer so that you can have this."

"Don't worry Honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."




Ways to improve web conference image and sound quality. [forums.macresource.com]


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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: lost in space
Date: September 09, 2022 11:33AM
Lost my job as an Old West saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door

and I just kept playing



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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: RgrF
Date: September 09, 2022 07:21PM
An Imam, a Priest and a Rabbit walk into a blood donation center. The Rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo"
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: hal
Date: September 09, 2022 08:12PM
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Re: Friday Funnies
Posted by: Plant Goddess
Date: September 09, 2022 08:16PM
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
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