So, a while back, I posted that I had interviewed for a position at another school district...
[forums.macresource.com]

They did end up calling, and offering me the position. For the top of their pay range for that position - almost $12 an hour more than I was making after 20 years, 5 months, and 18 days (at the time left)... It wasn't a hard choice to accept.

The superintendent's only reaction when I turned in my letter of resignation was "congratulations... when's your last day?".

The teachers and staff threw me a pot-luck breakfast on my last day, which I very much appreciated. It felt like the appreciation I SHOULD have gotten from the top, but coming from the people who I actually ENJOYED working with for the last two decades.

I started the new job Monday.
So far, the new job has been fine... Back at the bottom of the learning curve when it comes to Student Information Systems... but, I've been there before and climbed up the curve. I'll adjust. I'm not wildly excited about the "SIS Guru" job, but, I'm fairly good at it (at least with the other SIS's I've used), so, I can do this for another 4-5 years. I do feel a little dirty using a PC, though. I can adjust to that, too, as long as I have a Mac at home.

That's the good.

The bad?
My best friend for the last 17 years, one of the best friends I've EVER had... the kind of friend that knows when you're frustrated, or hurt, or happy, or whatever. They GET YOU...

He's dying of liver cancer. It might be tonight. It will definitely be by this weekend. The "final drug cocktail" has been ordered, and is arriving tomorrow. He can't take the pain and steady degeneration of his faculties any more.

His dying is hurting me... His ex-wife lying to their daughter (who HE had SOLE CUSTODY of until about a year ago, after his oncologist told him the chemo wasn't working), and telling her "Daddy has a long time yet"... This REALLY hurts me. She's 12 years old, and has lived with her dad since she was 1 year old. She's in the SF Bay Area and doesn't know that her daddy really needs to see her.... to know she's going to be OK, to tell her not to be scared. To give her a last big hug for her to remember him by.

My friend, my shooting buddy, my jack-of-all-trades contractor... is at his house (I just came back from there) with his sister, his father, and a couple other friends (we're making sure he's always got friends around... That's the way he wants to go) are watching him get weaker, his skin and eyes turning more and more yellow, and going from the guy who rode 100 mile bike rides, and when he was diagnosed, was training for a marathon... to skin and bones. He can still get up and walk, but, not far, and not long. It won't be long before he can't.

So.. yeah... sort of a "best of times, worst of times" sort of week.

Tomorrow is more reading manuals, online training, and doing data entry of new students (it's sort of "crunch time" for that)...
Then, over to my buddies house to try to keep his mind off the fact there's a tumor the size of an apple in his liver that's killing him.
I've already made arrangements with the new job that if I get "the call", I'll be going... they're cool with that.

I gotta get some sleep... Thanks for listening!

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Paul F.
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A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
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Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.
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Eureka, CA

Oof…. So sorry for your impending loss…. Keep sharing those tales of joy from your shared history. It helps.

What a bittersweet situation....why so much suffering at times? </rhetorical>

Sorry to hear, its hard to jump into something new with a weight like that on you.

>His ex-wife lying to their daughter (who HE had SOLE CUSTODY of until about a year ago, after his oncologist told him the chemo wasn't working),

SHE stole custody, right?

I've heard of other stories of this. Seriously @#$%& up.

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Wow. Big changes in your life. We're pulling for you, Paul.

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Quote
mattkime
Sorry to hear, its hard to jump into something new with a weight like that on you.

>His ex-wife lying to their daughter (who HE had SOLE CUSTODY of until about a year ago, after his oncologist told him the chemo wasn't working),

SHE stole custody, right?

I've heard of other stories of this. Seriously @#$%& up.

Pretty much... He still has court papers giving him SOLE custody, but, first it was down with mom "for the summer", then, "just until Christmas", now it's "she's settled into school now"... Anything to make it seem like she (the Ex) isn't the bitch that walked out on both of them...

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Paul F.
-----
A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
----
Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.
--

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Eureka, CA

The breakfast sounds terrific, kudos on your new position.
It hurts to read about your friend, I’m truly sorry.

Ugh, that was a hard read. Very hard.

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Hurts like a bastid...

Wow. That's a whole lot to unpack. What a tragic time for your great buddy. Definitely for you too.

It's unbelievable what he's going through with his daughter and his ex. That's so unfair.

Just take it a moment at a time.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

Oh Paul, I am so sorry.
I am sure your friend is thankful you can be there for him. I know you will miss him.

You will be great at your new job.

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Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)

Thanks so much for the update. Unfortunate that you can't really enjoy a positive change in your life without it being impacted by a pending loss like that. For what it's worth, you know we're all hoping you're able to get through it all. Congrats on your job and best of luck in the coming days.

Congratulations on your new job! I hope it turns out even better than you can imagine. And so very sorry about your friend. What a horrible thing the ex is doing to their daughter.

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Formerly known as Dennis R

.....congrats on new job.....sorry to hear about your friend but sounds like you are being a good friend to him when he needs it most.....

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_____________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

So let me get this straight... his ex is not allowing him to say goodbye to HIS 12 y.o. daughter? She's not going to bring her to him??

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The arts are not luxuries but assets that give way more than they cost.
--Ronald Tucker on YouTube

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
--Frank Zappa

That sounds really rough Paul. Sorry to hear about your buddy. I think that these things come along periodically to remind us to live for today.

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"In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion." (1987) -- Carl Sagan

That sounds really hard. My condolences.

If it’s not too late, maybe consider making a video from your friend to his daughter, telling her all the things he would want her to know?

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anonymouse1
That sounds really hard. My condolences.

If it’s not too late, maybe consider making a video from your friend to his daughter, telling her all the things he would want her to know?

That is an awesome idea!

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The arts are not luxuries but assets that give way more than they cost.
--Ronald Tucker on YouTube

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
--Frank Zappa

Hang in there. Life has texture; it's hard to do your feelings justice but just know we are thinking about you and your friend.

You've got a lot on your plate, stephen...at the risk of sounding cliche, remember to take those deep breaths now and again. We're here for you.

Congrats and condolences. It is the sweet times in life that help us endure the bitter ones. And at times, like for you, they happen simultaneously.

Congratulations and condolences.

So sorry about your friend.

Hang in there, buddy. And great going on the new rung on the ladder.

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Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.

Sorry you are losing your close friend… It is never easy.

Congrats on the new gig, great upgrade! Teachers and staff gave you a thoughtful sendoff, good for them.

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=wr=

Home early from work...
The "final" drug cocktail has been delivered, and my friends sister will tell him at 5:30pm (about 45 minutes from now) that it's available whenever he wants it.

F|_|ck cancer... with a splintery broomhandle.

Heading over there in a couple minutes.

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Paul F.
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A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
----
Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.
--

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Eureka, CA

Almost forgot...

Thank you, sincerely, everyone, for your thoughts.
About both ends of the spectrum.

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Paul F.
-----
A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
----
Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.
--

--

--
Eureka, CA

What your friend, you and his loved ones are going through just really s*cks. There are no magic words that can make it hurt less or easier. Know that you have a lot of friends here (and out there) that care.

Congratulations on the new job. It is wonderful that you were so appreciated by the teaching staff in your former place and you will soon be very appreciated in your new school(s) too.

Dave

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...on the trailing edge of technology.

Peace be with you as you navigate the exciting new job and the loss of a dear friend.