We do not have any children ourselves but often times we baby-sit our relatives' and good friends'. Most the mothers freely admit that it is much more difficult to raise daughters than sons especially these days. As an instructional aid at an all day day care, I have great daily opportunities to observe behaviors of 3 and 5 year olds. Of course, it is not an ideal environment for an unbiased behavioral study. Still, from what I have seen the girls are quite cruel with each other playing the emotional mind games, whereas the boys are quick to move on. Teenaged girls told me that the mind games are more vicious in high schools.

To those forum members who are parents to young children, which gender would you prefer?

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SoCal for now.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2007 01:32PM by kap.

Sons, I have two. Ha ha ha

I afraid I would have killed a girl before she hit puberty.

I'll take boys, thank you.

It hardly matters.

Between the human predisposition to father girls and the ease with which females can be cloned, men are all doomed anyway.

>>Between the human predisposition to father girls and the ease with which females can be cloned, men are all doomed anyway.

When does this start? Has it already started?

Can I be one of the last survivors?

---

I wouldn't know which is easier to raise; I was blessed with two daughters.

My oldest is very smart, well mannered but very picky (clothes, food, etc.).

The youngest is very smart, very volatile and also very picky (about everything).

One is fire and the other is gasoline.

The youngest is the reason we stopped at two.

Here is a picture of Hurricane Hannah.

---

I sit on a man’s back, choking him and making
him carry me, and yet assure myself and others
that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his
lot by all possible means — except by getting off
his back. - Leo Tolstoy, novelist and Philosopher
(1828-1910)





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2007 01:49PM by MacArtist.

> Can I be one of the last survivors?

It might not be a lot of fun, depending on your particular fetishes.

The talk is mostly about cloning lesbians.

As long as there is both a mother and a father in the house, in order to offer up both the male and female perspectives on life, your children--no matter the gender--will be fine, and you won't have any more difficulty with one than the other.

---

---------------


In the words of DharmaDog: "it may or may not be utter horse@#$%&, but it shouldn't be dismissed simply because it doesn't agree with your opinion."

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Trying is the first step to failure. -- Homer Simpson

Quote
MacMagus
> Can I be one of the last survivors?

It might not be a lot of fun, depending on your particular fetishes.

The talk is mostly about cloning lesbians.

LMAO!

------------

So far we have only heard from the fathers. Where are the mommies?
Personally, either gender would be fine. However, with the female ones we would have to put extra efforts. I suppose it is a cultural learning that we feel the need to be protective of the female gender. In the long run, it's often the women who will stick around to care for the sick siblings and the aging parents. In short, they tend to be more independently dependent. I do agree with Elmo3.

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SoCal for now.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2007 02:20PM by kap.

Ahem. I am a mommy.

In my earlier response, I was referring to the process of raising them, not the outcome. Given the right parenting, they'll all turn out fine. I'd just watch my friends who were struggling somewhat with "girl" challenges and thank my lucky stars that wasn't me.

Pardon me AlphaDog

Yes, out of all the couple with children friends we have, the ones who have daughters are struggling with daily challenges. However, the ones whose daughters are in their mid 20s now have turned out to be quite outstanding citizens. One wouldn't know it from knowning about their rebellious teenaged years.

---

SoCal for now.

When I was pregnant I really didn't have a preference, but after seeing how active the little boys weren when my daughter was little, I am glad that I had a daughter. I think each sex has its own unique set of problems and, while different, neither is inherently better or worse. I think I adapted better to rearing a daughter, but I would have done the best I could with a son.

Had we had a son, I think my husband would have had to pitch in more with all the sports related things. He helps out now, and always has, but I think he would have had a larger role if we had had had a son.

---

Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)

Quote
kap
Most the mothers freely admit that it is much more difficult to raise daughters than sons especially these days.

I have a son and a daughter and I would say that my daughter is the easier person to "raise".

Therefore, I must raise the BS flag.

JJ

I've got both, but I can't do a completely fair comparison since my son has had medical issues.

I believe the common wisdom is that girls are easier when young, harder when older (i.e. teenage) while the reverse is true of boys. I can say with certainty that my children are *very* different, leading me to reluctantly conclude that there is at least some truth in the idea that there are fundamental differences between males and females that no amount of equal/identical parenting can reconcile.

Quote:Re: Daughters or Sons (LONG) ? new
Posted by: elmo3 (IP Logged) [Ignore]
Date: April 22, 2007 02:00PM

As long as there is both a mother and a father in the house, in order to offer up both the male and female perspectives on life, your children--no matter the gender--will be fine, and you won't have any more difficulty with one than the other.

Boy, you apparently haven't a clue as to what you're talking about.

As an example: I have and Aunt & Uncle. Both good, hard working, church going (though not overly religious) decent people. Both are high school graduates - the uncle has some college. Both home every night, dinner with the kids daily, no profanity, no drinking problems no out of the ordinary in any way, etc, etc. Solid middle class family - never a problem with the law.

They first had a girl, then a boy then twin girls all born within a few years of each other (except the twins - of course

The oldest girl, never a problem, is now a lawyer. The boy was killed at age 20 while participating in a home invasion robbery. One of the twins dabbled in drugs, had two failed marriages before finally straightening herself out. The other twin turned out to be gay which has been the only anomaly in her otherwise normal existence.

Life is seldom as cut and dried as you tried to make it sound.

Kap,

Have you discovered a way to choose the sex of your child? My wife and I plan on starting to try to have chidlren in the fall and I would like to have that knowledge. ;)

---

---“What you permit, you promote. What you allow, you encourage. What you condone, you own.”

GEORGE: He gave me a wedgie.

JERRY: He got fired the next day.

ELAINE: Why do they call it a wedgie?

GEORGE: Because the underwear is pulled up from the back and ... it wedges in..

JERRY: They also have an atomic wedgie. Now the goal there is to actually get the

waistband on top of the head. Very rare.

ELAINE: Boys are sick.

JERRY: Well what do girls do ?

ELAINE: We just tease some one 'til they develop an eating disorder.

Quote
RonT
The other twin turned out to be gay which has been the only anomaly in her otherwise normal existence.

There's a loaded statement.

Quote
kap

To those forum members who are parents to young children, which gender would you prefer?

My daughter turns my heart to a fluffy white cloud in the shape of a unicorn. She lights up the room. She is my sunshine.

Quote
pinion
Kap,

Have you discovered a way to choose the sex of your child? My wife and I plan on starting to try to have chidlren in the fall and I would like to have that knowledge. ;)

We in no way are advocates of the method but I think there are some fertility facilities that are developing the options for parents to pick and choose their child's gender, race, etc.

======

LOL ... wurm.

======

MacArtist,
Hurricane Hannah?!! Not with that smile!

======

JP!,
Can't blame ya. She looks adorable We feel the exactly the same way with our 7 year old female cousin

---

SoCal for now.

We have two sons and would like to have had a third child but our youngest son has MD
and we didn't want to take a chance on bringing another child in this world with MD. I
wouldn't trade either one of them for anything in the world. The oldest starts college this fall
with basically a full honors scholarship to a private college and the youngest is an aspiring
writer. I just asked my wife yesterday if she knew how fortunate we were to have two
children that teachers say they wished they had a whole classroom full of. Our oldest son
had his 18th birthday party yesterday and had several of his friends over and I've never
seen a more well behaved group of young adults. My wife stayed home from day one, we
made sacrifices along the way but now we're very glad she did so.

Jp!: Your daughter is cute as a button!

---

Grateful11




Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2007 05:40PM by Grateful11.

I have both a girl and a boy, and I love them both as much as I possibly could. It's almost offensive to me to think someone would prefer one or the other, but I would have to say the girl is harder for me because I can't comprehend why she does anything she does. She is a complete mystery to me. My boy makes perfect sense, maybe because I am one (a male anyway). I generally think guys are more "straight forward", but I could be wrong.

As far as the results of parenting, I'm dead sure parents can ruin their kids, but I am equally sure good parents can have horrid kids. Good parents can also take a kid headed for trouble, and be THE reason they make it. It's a thin line for some kids. kj.

I only have a daughter, who is 15 now, but I'd take her over a boy any day. I saw what the boys in day care were like. I saw what the neighborhood boys were/are like. I hear my friends' stories. Not for me thank you. And she thinks all the female soap opera stuff is annoying, likes boys, but wonders why they are all so stupid.

I do think any time one stereotypes you've already screwed up. No way can anyone do more than express a personal opinion based on their own limited experiences.

Quote
RonT
Quote:Re: Daughters or Sons (LONG) ? new
Posted by: elmo3 (IP Logged) [Ignore]
Date: April 22, 2007 02:00PM

As long as there is both a mother and a father in the house, in order to offer up both the male and female perspectives on life, your children--no matter the gender--will be fine, and you won't have any more difficulty with one than the other.

Boy, you apparently haven't a clue as to what you're talking about.

As an example: I have and Aunt & Uncle. Both good, hard working, church going (though not overly religious) decent people. Both are high school graduates - the uncle has some college. Both home every night, dinner with the kids daily, no profanity, no drinking problems no out of the ordinary in any way, etc, etc. Solid middle class family - never a problem with the law.

They first had a girl, then a boy then twin girls all born within a few years of each other (except the twins - of course

The oldest girl, never a problem, is now a lawyer. The boy was killed at age 20 while participating in a home invasion robbery. One of the twins dabbled in drugs, had two failed marriages before finally straightening herself out. The other twin turned out to be gay which has been the only anomaly in her otherwise normal existence.

Life is seldom as cut and dried as you tried to make it sound.

Your one datum point is meaningless.

---

---------------


In the words of DharmaDog: "it may or may not be utter horse@#$%&, but it shouldn't be dismissed simply because it doesn't agree with your opinion."

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Trying is the first step to failure. -- Homer Simpson

Quote
tronnei

Quote
RonT
The other twin turned out to be gay which has been the only anomaly in her otherwise normal existence.

There's a loaded statement.

Pretty much proves that Ron T is an idiot.

---

---------------


In the words of DharmaDog: "it may or may not be utter horse@#$%&, but it shouldn't be dismissed simply because it doesn't agree with your opinion."

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Trying is the first step to failure. -- Homer Simpson

Quote
elmo3
As long as there is both a mother and a father in the house, in order to offer up both the male and female perspectives on life, your children--no matter the gender--will be fine, and you won't have any more difficulty with one than the other.

Boy - talk about narrow minded

The only thing left out was that mom is stay at home and bakes cookies all day

What an insult to hard working successful single parents everywhere.

FWIW I have four sisters - one ones her own business while, one worked her own business from home, one has
fluctuated between working full time and freelancing over the last 20 years depending on the kids ages
and the other was a single parent for the first six years of her sons life and married a
guy who divorced an alcoholic wife and raise four kids on his own as a single father

His three boy are all in the military and the oldest just graduated from officers school
and all three did tours under Desert Storm

I'm sure they could tell you something about being raised by a single parent

---

Quote
lafinfil
FWIW I have four sisters - one ones her own business while, one worked her own business from home, one has
fluctuated between working full time and freelancing over the last 20 years depending on the kids ages
and the other was a single parent for the first six years of her sons life and married a
guy who divorced an alcoholic wife and raise four kids on his own as a single father

Don't Post Drunk!

BGnR

---

"Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto! You're beautiful!"
"If we dig precious things from the land, we will invite disaster."
"Near the day of Purification, there will be cobwebs spun back and forth in the sky."
"A container of ashes might one day be thrown from the sky, which could burn the land and boil the oceans."

Interesting discussion. I have 2 girls (ages 5 and 7 weeks) and a 3 1/2 year old son. My oldest has been challenging but that is due a life full of medical and developmental isses. Most of the time she is the sweetest person with a great smile and beautiful eyes. However, she has a wicked temper and despite being non-verbal, will let you know when she is pissed off. She is, however, the bravest, strongest person I know. She has been through more in her almost 6 years then most people have to face in a lifetime. She amazes me every single day.

My son has been constantly moving since he was in the womb (he totally changed positions 3 times in the week before his birth, necessitating a c-section for my wife). Once he started talking a couple of years ago, he has not stopped. He is a great little boy who is active, has a mind like a sponge, and a memory like a steel trap (we totally have to be careful about what we say around him). He is in a tough position, being the only son and middle child between 2 sisters who need our full attention but he handles it as best as he can. I can already see him taking a very protective role over both of his sisters.

The jury is still out on the baby, being only 7 weeks old. She's adorable but sure can cry. When she is ready to be fed, she better have that bottle in 30 seconds or else.

All kids have their strengths and challenges, ours certainly do. All families have their issues. I don't think that you can make a blanket statement one way or the other about which is easier to raise as everyone has their own perspective and experiences. However, that is one of the things that makes being a parent the greatest role.

Quote
BigGuynRusty

Quote
lafinfil
FWIW I have four sisters - one ones her own business while, one worked her own business from home, one has
fluctuated between working full time and freelancing over the last 20 years depending on the kids ages
and the other was a single parent for the first six years of her sons life and married a
guy who divorced an alcoholic wife and raise four kids on his own as a single father

Don't Post Drunk!

BGnR

and this adds to the discussion how ?

---

Right now I'd happily trade my eldest son for a marginally trained monkey. My eldest daughter (who just announced her engagement at 19.. I'm startled) is a great young lady, but she drives me bats regularly.

My 9 year old son, however, alternates between sweet little boy and demon child.

All said, kids are gonna give you grey hair. The gender seems immaterial.

i will agree that girls are more about the 'relationship' issues once they go all teenager on you, which grated on me.

"What did you do in school today, honey ?"
"well, i was talking with kari and her and britney had a fight and i'm so upsed that bobby and heather broke up and..."
"Uh, well, did you take any classes ?"
... moment of silence....
"Mom! Daddy's saying stupid stuff again ! Mommmmm! "

LOL cbelt3

soooo, this turned out exactly as i would have guessed

50% say girls, 50% say boys

just like:
50% prefer ford, 50% prefer chevy
50% prefer democrats, 50% prefer republicans
and on and on =)

oh and pinion -- DONT find out early

discovering the sex of the baby on her "birth"day was near the MOST exciting thing in my entire life -- equal moments of anticipation, wonder, shock and final joy -- were overwhelming

we found out by "accident" on our second, there wasnt really any of the above emotions...

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Edited 999 time(s). Last edit at 12:08PM by jdc.

We have a son who is a freshman engineering major at UTexas, and is on the Dean's List.

And we have a daughter who is a junior in high school, is a three year varsity athlete and a National Merit finalist.

Both are wonderful, excellent students, clear headed with strong self-esteem and are very mature.

I know from personal experience what the original poster was describing. I would definitely agree with the original proposition. Girls are MUCH nastier to each other. It starts in about 4th grade and accelerates in about 6th grade, as social status becomes more important and each girl is trying to find her relative place; what clique she ends up in.

What appears to happen is that boys solve their issues by throwing down; getting in each other's faces. Guys are open and clear in their confrontations. After the confrontation, the issue is often forgotten, and the guys can be friends again.

Girls, on the other hand, fight with their brains, which is much more vicious. They attack each other psychologically. They can be superficially nice to each other face to face, and unbelievably nasty to each other behind each other's back. They plan. They plot. They connive. We had a MUCH more difficult time shepherding our daughter through 4th-9th grade than we did our son. Girls are just nasty to each other. Fortunately, we maintained a close relationship with our daughter, and she was open to us with what she was going through. The fact that she was an athlete and was smart gave her social status that helped her deal with the attacks on her ego and self-esteem. Even so, it was often very difficult.

There is lot of truth in the movie Mean Girls.

Guys start to become subject to these attacks as girls and guys start dating seriously. Ask any guy about
how girls say things are fine when they are not,
how they can be obtuse in an argument,
how the guy gets in trouble for stuff he has no clue about,
how girls will crush you if you get in a "list argument..."
how you can never tell why they are mad or happy.

Guys are clueless about this stuff. This is because we have never learned how to confront this way. We tend to be way too literal to confront women in their ring. Against women, we are unarmed.

Which would I prefer? I would prefer my kids. Heh.

My wife is probably closer to my son and me to my daughter... mainly because our senses of humor match that way. My wife and son often think our jokes are stoopid. What do they know?

But we are fortunate. My wife and I have stayed very involved with our kids even as we gave them freedom and opportunity to mature on their own. A very difficult and fine line. We had a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. And through it all we have developed a wonderful family relationship. We are very blessed.

---

Don't ask who the bell's for, dude. It's you.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/23/2007 12:46AM by sscutchen.

They both can present unique challenges.

Agree with most of above except the statistically incorrect ignorant remark about both parents at home.

Quote
lafinfil

Quote
elmo3
As long as there is both a mother and a father in the house, in order to offer up both the male and female perspectives on life, your children--no matter the gender--will be fine, and you won't have any more difficulty with one than the other.

Boy - talk about narrow minded

The only thing left out was that mom is stay at home and bakes cookies all day

What an insult to hard working successful single parents everywhere.

thank you, lafinfil. glad you spoke up. having been raised by a single mom of a boy and a girl i was annoyed by that statement. my mom did a darn good job - her parenting is one of the reason i chose to become a mom. i wanted to pass it on. oh, yeah - i'm a single parent also. since i'm not raising my son under a rock i think his life is filled with a lot of different perspectives.

and as to the original question, i don't know if girls or boys are easier but i think i'm a better mom to a son than i might have been to a daughter. i have constant reminders that "He is NOT me..."

Quote
BigGuynRusty

Quote
lafinfil
FWIW I have four sisters - one ones her own business while, one worked her own business from home, one has
fluctuated between working full time and freelancing over the last 20 years depending on the kids ages
and the other was a single parent for the first six years of her sons life and married a
guy who divorced an alcoholic wife and raise four kids on his own as a single father

Don't Post Drunk!

BGnR

I resent that, except on Thirsdays and Saturdays.......

I've figured it out!!!!

We're happy with whatever we get and do what we need to parent them. ;)

It has been a very interesting read! Thanks everyone for sharing. We are constantly striving to provide the best 'co-parenting'/baby-sitting we possibly can to our lit' cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. and hope that they all will become good-standing adult. If every parent was more conscientious of their substantial influences on their off-springs the world would be a much better place

---

SoCal for now.

Interesting discussion.

My first child is expected in July. It is a boy.

My girlfriend really wanted a girl, and says that "Boys are trouble." Whatever that means.

Also she probably wanted to buy dresses and girl type stuff instead of trucks and boy type stuff.

Personally I didn't care, but was secretly hoping for a girl purely because she wanted a girl.


You definitely can choose the sex of your child.
Down here in Australia, it costs about AUD$15,000 - $20,000 for sex selection.

---

Congratulations Mike

One of my sisters has a son that is a very good match to her personality

My mom told her "He's just like you were at that age"

My sister replied "I am so sorry"

Enjoy & cherish which ever you get.

: - )

---

Quote
kap
It has been a very interesting read! Thanks everyone for sharing. We are constantly striving to provide the best 'co-parenting'/baby-sitting we possibly can to our lit' cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. and hope that they all will become good-standing adult. If every parent was more conscientious of their substantial influences on their off-springs the world would be a much better place

Well, not always. I know some excellent parents whose kids are total losers. Either mental/environmental/peer/etc. led the offspring astray. It just happens.

Quote
Jp!

Quote
kap
It has been a very interesting read! Thanks everyone for sharing. We are constantly striving to provide the best 'co-parenting'/baby-sitting we possibly can to our lit' cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. and hope that they all will become good-standing adult. If every parent was more conscientious of their substantial influences on their off-springs the world would be a much better place

Well, not always. I know some excellent parents whose kids are total losers. Either mental/environmental/peer/etc. led the offspring astray. It just happens.

You're absolutely right. There are exceptions, of course.

---

SoCal for now.

Since I've slept on it, some of the nicest families I know had at least ONE problem/devil child. Who knows why?

Thanks!

I'm a bit nervous, but I'm starting to get more comfortable with the idea of being a dad as the time gets closer.

---

Mike V,
Congrats to you an you girlfriend!

My brother and his wife are the first time parents. It has been a year now. They enjoy it tremedously. Tho' still nervous trying to be the best parents they possibly can to their adorable little girl. She is a joy to all of us

---

SoCal for now.