My fall came a few months ago, when I lost my home, most of my possessions and all three of my cats. Nights spent sleeping in my car. Then came a complete car break down. Months now were not one, but three social workers have been unable to find shelter space or other living space. Moving from motel to hostels, draining resources. Then hit by another car, nearly totaling mine (but thankfully no injuries).

Now, possibly, comes the fist big tipping point to getting my feet back on the road forward. A chance at a shared room, on an open ended basis.

But, I will need your help for what, I hope with every fiber of my being, will be the last time.

One last GoFundMe, as close as I can get to first months $800 rent, and the $400 deposit.
GoFundMe/Tipping Point

I know this is a time of year where, rightfully, home and hearth come first. So I only ask, if you should find the sofa cushions happen to be hiding anything extra, and you are so moved, every last dollar that finds its way will help tremendously.

After more than a month, I’ll be getting my car back from the mechanics next week and, until I land better, I’ll return to working for Door Dash, to bring in whatever I can to supplement my Social Security.

I hesitate to call it light at the end of the tunnel, but, just maybe, this is it.

Thank you one and all. However this all works out, my life is changed forever. And part of that is a humbling gratitude that will last for the rest of my life.

Jeff Miller/BlankityBlank

---

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit "what'll ya have?"
The rabbit says "I dunno. I'm only here because of Autocorrect.


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
As of July 16, 2022, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now available by simply dialing 988. The previous number, 1-800-273-8255, will remain active.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2023 01:46PM by Blankity Blank.

Donated. Prayers and good wishes.

---

Formerly known as Dennis R

So many people are a step away from a nightmare that Jeff is experiencing.

I didn’t go through the same issues as Jeff but I was close enough to be very scared. 3 years ago almost to the day I caught Covid-19 and was very close to dying from complications. Hospitalized until stable. Recovered at home and could not work for months. Obligations, bills, mortgage. Family income cut in half. Scared that I would not get my health back. Ever since I was old enough to work, I felt I could deal with anything in life as long as I could continue to work. And then you get to the point you can’t and it’s a very scary situation to be in.

Asking for help is damn hard. We feel like we have to do it all by ourselves.

We get through the toughest of times by helping each other. Wish I could do more. If I can do more, I will.

I am praying that everything works out for you, Jeff.

---

I sit on a man’s back, choking him and making
him carry me, and yet assure myself and others
that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his
lot by all possible means — except by getting off
his back. - Leo Tolstoy, novelist and Philosopher
(1828-1910)





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/19/2023 09:51PM by MacArtist.

Quote
MacArtist
So many people are a step away from a nightmare that Jeff is experiencing.

I didn’t go through the same issues as Jeff but I was close enough to be very scared. 3 years ago almost to the day I caught Covid-19 and was very close to dying from complications. Hospitalized until stable. Recovered at home and could not work for months. Obligations, bills, mortgage. Family income cut in half. Scared that I would not get my health back. Ever since I was old enough to work, I felt I could deal with anything in life as long as I could continue to work. And then you get to the point you can’t and it’s a very scary situation to be in.

Asking for help is damn hard. We feel like we have to do it all by ourselves.

We get through the toughest of times by helping each other. Wish I could do more. If I can do more, I will.

I am praying that everything works out for you, Jeff.

Thank you, MacArtist.

(A ‘“TL;DR” - I am renewed, I am transformed, thanks to this community. Thank you all.)

As I may have said before, through this trial every kind wish, every donation, this community has become a part of me. One of the innumerable threads that make up this journey, is that as I sank deeper and deeper, was the crushing despair of thinking I was utterly alone.

No family left. The thought of turning to friends only deepening the shame and adding to the dark depression that was part of what led me here. In the beginning, a cascading failure of events and recognizing where my own failures played their part. Too often it seems like there is only darkness.

Finally, if I was to survive, I had to reach out. And it was terrifying. I genuinely thought I might, rightfully, be shunned. Lowering the veil anonymity provided by being ‘someone else’ online shattering the last avenue of escape from the everyday world where the ground had fallen completely away.

Even now, rebuilding any sense of confidence in myself or for the hope of good things still being something that can happen to me is a work in progress, with the help of a therapist.

Make no mistake, I in no way see my circumstance as anywhere near the worst the world has to offer. But when it’s your world that slips through your fingers, the wound runs deep.

But emptiness can be filled. And it has changed me irrevocably.

So, so much of the ‘clay’ that is part of my rebuilding, my salvation, is the staggering, relentless kindness and compassion and generosity that this community has shown to me and blessed me with.

Every day now, I have begun thinking about how, in any way, I might commit to being an agent of change that can ensure that this gift can result in ripple effects that reach others as I again find my own footing in the world.

As is usual, I have managed to turn two simple words, “thank you”, into a four part mini series of words. Some things, I guess never change.

I will close by saying this, I am forever changed and forever grateful.

Done. You'll make it.

Done.

---

It is what it is.

Quote
MacArtist
So many people are a step away from a nightmare that Jeff is experiencing.

I didn’t go through the same issues as Jeff but I was close enough to be very scared. 3 years ago almost to the day I caught Covid-19 and was very close to dying from complications. Hospitalized until stable. Recovered at home and could not work for months. Obligations, bills, mortgage. Family income cut in half. Scared that I would not get my health back. Ever since I was old enough to work, I felt I could deal with anything in life as long as I could continue to work. And then you get to the point you can’t and it’s a very scary situation to be in.

Asking for help is damn hard. We feel like we have to do it all by ourselves.

We get through the toughest of times by helping each other. Wish I could do more. If I can do more, I will.

I am praying that everything works out for you, Jeff.

I admire you and Jeff’s determination to go it alone as much as possible. Hope you or anyone will ask if you can’t.

Found the sofa cushion money. It always takes more than you think it will.

No family left. The thought of turning to friends only deepening the shame and adding to the dark depression that was part of what led me here. In the beginning, a cascading failure of events and recognizing where my own failures played their part. Too often it seems like there is only darkness.

Finally, if I was to survive, I had to reach out. And it was terrifying. I genuinely thought I might, rightfully, be shunned. Lowering the veil anonymity provided by being ‘someone else’ online shattering the last avenue of escape from the everyday world where the ground had fallen completely away.

You have family: us. Never be ashamed. Recognizing the failures leads to growth, and growth can be painful. And terrifying. The darkness only comes when you shut the rest of us out.

Did you willfully go down this path, even though you were told and warned and told again, but did it anyways simply because you were being stupid and pig-headed? Did you continue down this path, even when you saw where it was going? I believe the answer to this is NO. Emphatically NO. Crap happens well outside of our control, and for this we are supposed to shun people? Fie on that!!

Just remember, you were never stuck on the ground: you have wings. It's time to stretch them out, and as the ground falls away FLY my friend. (And no, not Red Bull giving you wings! ) Become who you are meant to be.