Just made it in time this morning-



-then I gotta go. Another busy day.











And I’ll have more later if I have the time...

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Disclaimer: This post is checked for correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Any attempts at humor are solely the responsibility of the author and bear no claim that any and all readers will approve or appreciate said attempt at humor.
My name is DP, and I approve this message.

"Show me the man and I’ll show you the crime."- Lavrentiy Beria

Nice way to start a Friday. Thanks!

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Athens, OH

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Freya says, 'Hello from NOLA, baby!' (Laissez bon temps rouler!)

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Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars walk into a bar.
They didn't planet that way.

Paul

The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “MIDNIGHT”… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh @#$%&” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

A sign you might be spending too much time checking your phone while with friends. They now think your pronouns are Wait?! What!?.

Todd's QWERTY-rights board

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Rick-o

^^ this! (And they forgot plough or thorough).

“--ough” should be outlawed, as a service to humanity.

Add macaroni to the pony/bologna(baloney) rhyme list cf: Yankee Doodle

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=TC

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pdq

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Rick-o

^^ this! (And they forgot plough or thorough).

“--ough” should be outlawed, as a service to humanity.

The tough coughs as he ploughs through the dough in the slough.