I know others here have posted about such things; I am typically fairly private, but felt I should share this one. She just passed away earlier today; don't know the details yet, but I hope it was peaceful.

I don't think I've really processed it yet... don't know yet how to feel, if that makes sense. (Obviously, I'm sad, but had been trying to mentally prepare myself for it-- not that this would really be possible, of course.)

She was 91, just two days shy of her 92nd birthday, metastatic ovarian/peritoneal cancer and had been ill for a long period of time. (She actually did quite well with her first round of chemo, so it was truly unfortunate that the cancer had metastasized to the degree it had after that first round.)

She was a formidable woman and I credit her for raising me and my three brothers ... divorced at a time when divorce was a dirty word, and supported us as best she could. I also credit her for instilling in me certain values and interests. She was really a Jacqueline of All Trades -- held a number of different jobs after the divorce (among other things, textile/yarn importer, Deputy Sheriff, clinical case worker) and ended up putting herself back through school in her 40's to get a MSW/CSW.

I'm trying my best just to do my work to keep my mind off of it. I'd write more, but as I said, I'm still processing it... all helpful advice appreciated.

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Freya says, 'Hello from NOLA, baby!' (Laissez bon temps rouler!)

Condolences on your family loss.

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High on a threshold yearning to sing
Down with the dancers having one last fling

No helpful advise from me, I broke down and picked up the pieces as soon as I could.
Please accept my deepest condolences.

PeterB-my sincerest condolences. The death of a loved one/family member just really sucks. Give yourself time and grace. Finding what helps to survive was important for me. For me that included going for walks and listening to music. The key is allowing oneself time. Take care.

Dave

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...on the trailing edge of technology.

My condolences. May good memories be a blessing and help you through this challenging time.

Your mama is "YOUR" mama. We only get the one mama. Your life will forever be altered. Bless your mama and you PeterB. My heart prayers are with you my friend. She raised a good one with you. You're all good. Your mom sounds like she was an awesome woman.

All my love.

Very sorry for your loss Peter.

Your mom sounds like an amazing woman. Write the great obit she deserves after a long life well lived.

Take good care of yourself.

I'm very sorry about the loss of your mom, Peter. It sounds like she was an amazing woman.

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It is what it is.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My condolences on your loss.

My mom died a little over a year ago.
It’s a hard thing to deal with.
Be kind to yourself. Reach out for help, if you need it.
Very sorry for your loss

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Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/08/2024 06:47AM by rgG.

very sorry to hear

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My deepest and most sincerest condolences to you and your family.

My mother passed away three years ago but it still seems like only yesterday. Seldom does a day go by that I don't think of her and all the wonderful times we had together.

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“No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong.” -- François de La Rochefoucauld

"Those who cannot accept the past are condemned to revise it." -- Geo. Mathias

The German word for contraceptive is “Schwangerschaftsverhütungsmittel”. By the time you finished saying that, it’s too late

My condolences on the loss of your mom. It sounds like she was a strong, exceptional woman. I remember when I lost my mom some years ago how numb I was emotionally. I was very close with my mom and was surprised how unemotional I was. I basically carried through on the needed arrangements with my siblings until after the burial. It’s been close to 10 years now and I still feel a tremendous loss as my mom was the family anchor for my siblings and me.

I guess I would suggest that you just take it one day at a time and don’t make any assumptions as to how you should feel or when you should feel it. We all grieve differently when faced with a major family members loss. You’ll process her loss in your own time and in your own way and that’s fine. I hope your memories of the times with your mom brings you some comfort.

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JoeM

So very sorry Pete. Condolences to you, family and friends.

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Formerly known as Dennis R

So sorry for your loss, take the time you need to process. Do not let anyone rush you on important decisions. Remember the wonderful times she gave you and your family.

Peter, Our condolences on your loss.
The memories will help you through.

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!#$@@$#!

Nolite manducare flavo.

Very sorry for your loss.

Condolences, Peter. Cherish the time you had with her.

Sorry to hear . . .

Condolences.

Morn when you can.

It was a couple of months before I morned my Dad proper. Was driving to work and almost had to pull over.

Mom, I morn more often and in a more dignified fashion.

Hang in there.

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Staunton, Virginia

PeterB,

My condolences to you and your family. Sounds like you have wonderful memories of her and the lessons and example she gave you. Share those with others that didn't know her well and she will continue to be a positive influence.

Women can be amazingly resilient - your mom was one of those.

Celebrate the memory of her.

It seems like she was a great person. You are lucky to have had her as your Mother.
Sincere condolences. May she rest in peace.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your mom. Cherish your memories of her; it sounds like there are many. She seems to have had a life well lived.

It's hard at first. Give yourself time to grieve; it's part of taking care of yourself. It might not seem like it so soon since her passing, but it gets easier as time passes.

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Condolences - a long life, well lived!

So sorry to hear that your Mother passed. She sounds like a wonderful person the way you describe her. May she rest in peace.

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Mr. Lahey: A lot of people, don’t know how to drink. They drink against the grain of the liquor. And when you drink against the grain of the liquor? You lose.

Randy: What the @#$%& are you talking about?

Deepest sympathies. My mother was of similar age when she passed, and of similar hardy stock.

Sending sincere condolences, PeterB. Grief is not linear. Take your time.

Your mother sounds like a very remarkable woman! You have my sincerest condolences.

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Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where the weather is wonderful even when it isn't.

Sending an electronic hug Peter...

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“Live your life, love your life, don’t regret…live, learn and move forward positively.” – CR Johnson
Loving life in Lake Tahoe, CA

Very sorry to hear this, our thoughts are with you, may he rest in peace.

My sincere condolences.
I have been through the loss of my mother.
Allow yourself to feel the grief.
Over time the grief will lessen and the memories become even fonder.

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Athens, OH

I'm sorry to hear your Mom passed, Peter. Take time for you to process this, whether that be talking with family or taking walks to mull things over, whatever your contemplative place is.

I am very sorry for your loss, Peter. Please accept my condolences.

Quote
JoeM
I guess I would suggest that you just take it one day at a time and don’t make any assumptions as to how you should feel or when you should feel it. We all grieve differently when faced with a major family members loss. You’ll process her loss in your own time and in your own way and that’s fine.

This is such good advice.

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May she rest in peace. My condolences to you and your family, Peter.

I like Lemon Drop's idea of writing up a really great obituary for your mom. Doing this for my dad 3 years ago turned out to be more helpful than I would have thought beforehand.

Sorry about your loss.

My condolences, Peter, on the loss of your beloved mom; lots of good advice in prior posts. I hope that you will mourn her in your own time and love her the more...

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=TC

Thanks everyone.

I'm trying to use work to distract myself from things a bit. I also spoke this morning with her boyfriend / SO / husband (they had been living together for over 20 years, but never made it official, and he was 11 years her junior) ... not surprisingly, he's a bit of a wreck right now, but hopefully we can all come together to help each other out.

In terms of writing an obit, honestly I'm not sure where I'd start. She had such an incredible life story and definitely a nonlinear life journey. She was obviously one of the oldest residents in our town, still living in her own house to the end... oh and I did forget to mention, she was one of the most tech-savvy 91 year olds I knew... she had a Facebook AND a twitter.

Oh and one more thing -- sort of unrelated, but which some of you might be able to help with: I've been trying to call her hospital back to resolve some issues (along with her SO, I was her medical POA), but my iPhone will not make the call, keeps giving "Call Failed" messages. I've done everything I can think of to fix it, does anyone know what's going on? (Is AT&T still having outages?) I'm able to call her SO, obviously, so it seems specific to some phone numbers/area codes.

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Freya says, 'Hello from NOLA, baby!' (Laissez bon temps rouler!)

Condolences to you on your loss.

Parent loss is our most difficult right of passage. I wish you peace.

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If you want to fix our country, work with us in the states. statesproject.org

"Success isn't about how much money you make. It is about the difference you make in people's lives."--Michelle Obama

I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a remarkable person.

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My life goes smoothly and in regular intervals

Sorry to hear, PeterB. It sounds like your mom was a keeper. According to my experience, you will probably always miss her but the intensity of the loss will diminish over time. Your memories of her will be a comfort. Be proud of her and what she meant to you. Remember her with affection and pride. I'm sure you were a good son to her.

This poem helps me in times of loss, I share it here again with you PeterB

Memories Build a Special Bridge
A Message of Sympathy
by Emily Matthews

Our memories build
a special bridge
when loved ones have to part
To help us feel we're with them still
and soothe a grieving heart...

Our memories span
the years we shared,
preserving ties that bind,
They build a special bridge of love
and bring us peace of mind.

Thinking about you
and wishing you courage
to help see you through, day by day -
And hoping your memories
will warm your heart always
and bring so much comfort your way.

With Heartfelt Sympathy

Quote
SKYLANE
This poem helps me in times of loss, I share it here again with you PeterB

Memories Build a Special Bridge
A Message of Sympathy
by Emily Matthews

Our memories build
a special bridge
when loved ones have to part
To help us feel we're with them still
and soothe a grieving heart...

Our memories span
the years we shared,
preserving ties that bind,
They build a special bridge of love
and bring us peace of mind.

Thinking about you
and wishing you courage
to help see you through, day by day -
And hoping your memories
will warm your heart always
and bring so much comfort your way.

With Heartfelt Sympathy

That's beautiful.

My sincere condolences for your loss. Forum’s here for you...

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Disclaimer: This post is checked for correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Any attempts at humor are solely the responsibility of the author and bear no claim that any and all readers will approve or appreciate said attempt at humor.
My name is DP, and I approve this message.

"Show me the man and I’ll show you the crime."- Lavrentiy Beria

So sorry for you Peter. Losing your Mom is a tough one.

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And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
Western Massachusetts

Sorry to hear of your loss. My mother passed her 100th birthday, but by then she had lost her eyesight and her friends, and when she was in the hospital recovering from falls, her favorite refrain was "Why can't I kick the bucket?" I think it was a bit of blessing when she died. Still, I remember her and frequently quote her (as I just did). She lives on in me and my brothers, as I assume your mother does in you.

In later years, she often told me, "You're no spring chicken, either." And you know, she was right.

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"Hillbilly at Harvard"
Honky-tonk Country and Bluegrass
Founded in 1948 by Pappy Ben Minnich
Saturdays 9am - 11am Eastern
WHRB-FM, Cambridge, MA
Streaming at [www.WHRB.org]
Be there!
The HAH weblog: [hillbillyatharvard.wordpress.com]

Topical weblog: [walkingcreekworld.wordpress.com]

On the river in Saxonville.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/08/2024 08:42PM by mrlynn.

Quote
mrlynn
Sorry to hear of your loss. My mother passed her 100th birthday, but by then she had lost her eyesight and her friends, and when she was in the hospital recovering from falls, her favorite refrain was "Why can't I kick the bucket?" I think it was a bit of blessing when she died. Still, I remember her and frequently quote her (as I just did). She lives on in me and my brothers, as I assume your mother does in you.

In later years, she often told me, "You're no spring chicken, either." And you know, she was right.

Aw man. I love your mom.

Our condolences. A long life well lived, and a blessing to all around her. Do share your memories of her. Sorrow shared is sorrow reduced. Joy shared is joy increased.