This is going to be a rather long post.
I understand EXACTLY where you are coming from. In the possible case of a stroke, time is of the essence to diminish damage; several years ago when my mom was in a rehab facility, she started acting strange: up all night, talking to everyone when she would never speak to total strangers, wandering the hallways, talking nonsense. I wanted them to send her to a hospital, and they wanting to wait, get an x-ray from the portable x-ray machine (whenever it came?) to see if it was a return of the pneumonia. I thought it was a possible stroke, although maybe not one that would cause muscle weakness and debilitation (strokes come in all varieties). I had to force the hand, calling her doctor and getting the ambulance to send her to the hospital to be checked out.
And that wasn't the only time something stupid happened, either. But, this isn't about me or mine, but about you and yours.
First, she's at the hospital where she can be monitored. Her needs are currently being taken care of to some degree, but you will still need to be an advocate for her. RIGHT NOW, however, you and your brother need to make sure that her needs will continue to be taken care of.
So, let's take care of you first. You don't want to become part of the problem (not that you ARE a part, but the deeper you go into this rabbit hole, the easier it becomes to get lost in it). Eat, sleep, take time for yourself. Your brother is there you said: is he local, or is he only here for a visit? If he isn't local, he needs to figure out something to help you with this because it is too much for one person alone. Tag-team it, discuss between yourselves, make sure that everything is discussed and known between the two (or more) of you. Communication is IMPORTANT!
Take a deep breath. Take another. Continue until you are calm. From here on out, remaining calm is REQUIRED. It is not an option.
As stated above, hospitals, rehab facilities, nursing homes... they come in basically two types: those that are only there to make money, and those that genuinely care about their patients. Unfortunately there is NO strict line between the two of them and so it is quite difficult to know which kind you are dealing with. BOTH kinds will be understaffed; the kinds that care about their patients will tend to keep better quality folks around, but even then they may have a few that shouldn't be there. As Carnos says, you can't leave elderly with potential issues alone. Someone needs to be there, either family members or trusted friends, and not just for 30 minutes a day. Make it odd times as well; observe and make notes. You don't have to be obnoxious about it, but if they know that a family member is there and keeping an eye on things, then there seems to be less "problems" occurring. Conversely, if they know that a family member is there, then some of the step-n-fetch-it type stuff gets put off onto the family member and it may seem that they don't pay enough attention to the patient. Believe me, they know.
Something you may run into, particularly these days, is a facility where they will treat you like a "problem" in that you don't need to know, you don't get a say, you really should just butt out and go away. This is something I had an issue with the last facility where my mom went to. I thought it was NOT an intensive care floor but it WAS. It wasn't labelled as such that I could see, and it wasn't explained to me. I found out about it several days later (much to my frustration). Communication is key.
Does anyone have a medical power of attorney for your mom? I assume you have, but if you don't, then you may want to get one simply because if she gets to a place where she is incoherent or non communicative and decisions need to be made, whoever has it can make those decisions based on what you believe she would want. A DNR needs to be decided and executed. PM me if you want to discuss what we did for my mom. BUT, and this is an important one, just because you have the MedPoA the facility may (or not) pay attention to what you are saying, as I'll relate in a quick story below.
Hal is spot on when he said:
Call the director and give them the details about what happened and ask just what is the routine for determining when the ambulance should be called. I certainly understand the regular staff brushing it off. Old people complain about stuff all day, every day and it is usually about nothing important - diagnosis is not their job.
But sometimes the complaints are important - ask how does the staff manage this. Ask lots of questions about the SOP and be very kind. A nurse should know better than to just ignore complaints.
At some point if it's clear there was a mistake, you can say something like, 'well, clearly that isn't what happened this time - how do we make sure it doesn't happen again?
This is one aspect where remaining calm and rational is paramount. If you feel that your voice isn't being heard, then it is time to find someone who can make a difference. In my case, it was my brother: his son is severely handicapped and has been since birth. Little bro therefore knows the language, the cadence, much of the ins and outs. He has been a pastor for the last 30-40 years(?) and has seen the same thing play out with others (although this time it was his own mother). He served on the ethics board of a major research university... He could get answers where I couldn't. I had the MedPoA, was listed first on it! and I couldn't get answers from anyone as they wouldn't talk to me. As far as the MedPoA goes, as I said above, sometimes the facility may not want to talk to you even if they are legally required to do so. In mom's case, she appeared to be rational and coherent, but dementia was quickly taking over and she was not able to make rational decisions. Quick story: a facility where my nephew was at required a discussion and signature from the patient. As my brother kept trying to tell them, he has MedPoA as his son is nonverbal and cannot write, and wouldn't understand anything they tried to discuss with him, born with a severe case of cerebral palsy. They insisted that they needed to talk to the patient, and the patient's father wasn't good enough. Until they saw my nephew, and only then would they allow my brother to make the decisions and sign what needed signed.
You may already know the Medicare ins and outs.
Medicare governmental site (provided if you need it, go to the bottom of the page for helpful links). Just as a reminder, if you don't already know.
Your mother is on Medicare, and there are things that Medicare will require from the facility. A bad report to Medicare can be ... not much fun. For them. As an aside, if you are not already aware: if the hospital is wanting to kick your mom out because she isn't making the progress they require, or whatever, and you feel that your mom isn't ready to be discharged you can protest to Medicare. The discharge will be put on hold until Medicare makes a determination, usually in a few days, so if you have something set up and the timing isn't quite right, this can be a viable strategy to employ to get a few more days. I had to use this to ensure my mom getting into the rehab facility we wanted (read: needed) her to go to and NOT to the one that was "currently available." If you think this may be an issue in the future, get things together so that you can quickly file the appeal with Medicare. Many hospitals will quickly discharge patients (as in just an hour or two), and it may not give you much time. And yes, they will discharge the patient to a family member even when it is quite obvious that it will amount to dumping the patient with neither the patient nor the "caregiver" able to handle it.
A lawyer may be needed, so prepare yourself for it. Take notes, with dates, times, people, who you talked to, what they said, etc. Sometimes, a lawyer can get things done where you can't. Unfortunate, but true. Ask around now as this may take time; if someone knows someone who is a lawyer, they may be amenable to asking in the right circles to find someone so that you don't have to just choose a name from some list somewhere.
Good luck, and let us know how things go. It helps to talk to people who have gone through it.