I've finally taken pity on my 10 year old, and have decided to try to bring his DOA iBook Se/466 back to life. Checklist:
Replacement battery, eBay, $40. Check. Works.
512M RAM, OWC, $35. Check. On order.
It's running OS 10.3, so that's good enough for now. We'll see what it does once it's got some RAM goodness. (Currently at 192M, which is shuffling Zombie slow..)