this has no doubt been posted before but this was forwarded to me and made me chuckle.






Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!





10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!







5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!





Excerpts from a Cat's Diary.









Day 983 of my captivity.



My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.



They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.



Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards.



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn
what this means and how to use it to my advantage..



Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.



I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.



The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe. For now. . .

And that is why I have a dog. Why support something that hates you?

Quote
AlphaDog
And that is why I have a dog. Why support something that hates you?

some folks thrive on contempt. some others suffer the delusion that they are of the chosen.

My cats don't hate me.
And I'm not deluding myself over this!

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Very cute, but of course it doesn't apply to my BunBun and Boo.

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Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)

It's an old one but I love it. In fact the phrase 'My favourite' is part of our family humour.

I've had both dog and cats as pets over the years, and my cats never hated me. Just like dogs, they knew who fed them and kept them safe.

Dogs love you; cats tolerate you.

So being a cat is like being a prisoner down at Guantanamo Bay?
Poor tortured fuzzy bastids....

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*We are just a quarantined people under an evil sun.*
--- Richard S. Shaver

Quote
rgG
Very cute, but of course it doesn't apply to my BunBun and Boo.

Nor my Allie and Twinkie. They're very sweet, loving kitties. Great company and they don't require walking when it's 34 degrees and raining outside.

definitely written by a dog lover.

"why doesn't the cat hang on my every gesture??"

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Cats got bad PR.

I've known seven different cats and every last one of them did just as big a happy dance at feeding time as any dog. Cats love to play (get one all jacked up on catnip if you ever need to laugh your a** off). I get greeted at the door. I get a purr and nuzzle if I'm sitting around moping over something.

Cats aren't quite as goofily exuberant as dogs, but then when's the last time you had a dog wander up to you with an empty cookie bag stuck on his head seeking assistance in getting his dignity back?

dogs have owners, cats have staff.

I had a cat that would follow me on walks through the woods .
It did so as a spy, though.

Noticed it one day when I stopped on a trail to retie a shoe. There was a twitch of a tail up a tree.
Go a little further, stop, scan the trees behind me, sure enough, there's the tail and wait long enough a head would peek around the trunk.
Never once would see it on the ground. I'd have to scan 15/ 20 feet up in the trees.
I swear that cat could smile.

It was the dog that was supposed to be with me. It would run by me about every 15 minutes like the wild thing in the beginning of Marley and Me. Always going the same way.

Cats are every bit as smart and loyal as dogs; they're just much less helpful.

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I have a cat and a dog. The cat loves me and hates the dog. The dog loves us both.

DM

One thing I like about cats is that they can generally ignore things that aren't important to them. I hate going for a walk and having the neighborhood dogs go berserk because the can't tell the difference between a passer-by and an intruder.

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