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Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: TLB
Date: March 29, 2006 11:36AM
Hindsight is 20/20. After reflecting on the last quarter century, I realize from today's perspective almost every major life decison I've made has been the wrong one. What to do with remainder:
1. Stay the course and be a trooper.
2. Make incremental changes to try to get on a more favorable path.
3. Pull everything up by the roots and start over.
4. Other?
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: Paul F.
Date: March 29, 2006 11:41AM
4.
Something involving 23 year old college girls, alcohol, and baby oil comes to mind...
Maybe a sports car...



(But more seriously; 2. is probably the best course of action for the short term, while doing more reflection on WHAT changes you want to make, and what GOALS you want to achieve in the NEXT 25 years).



Paul F.
-----
A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
----
Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.

--

--

--
Eureka, CA
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: NewtonMP2100
Date: March 29, 2006 11:42AM
depends. . .if it is just yourself. . .I would say 3 (kinda. . .)

You don't have to pull up everything. . .but find what you wanna do and do it. . .

if you have a family/dependents it is harder. . .talk it over with them and probably incremental depending on your financial/personal status, etc.


The key is to find what you wanna do and then go for it. . .


I'm kinda in the same boat and looking for a change. . .



_____________________________________

I reject your reality and substitute my own!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/29/2006 11:43AM by NewtonMP2100.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: SteveJobs
Date: March 29, 2006 11:53AM
Simplify your life. Find God (if willing). Make everyday a journey.



******************************

******************************
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: maurycy
Date: March 29, 2006 11:57AM
Are you a person that would ever consider #3? If yes, that's the best way to go. You do not have to make it so dramatic but this is definetely better than #2 which if you are not patient might lead you nowhere.

My 2 cents.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: dmann
Date: March 29, 2006 12:11PM
I'm a big fan of #2- in fact I am sort of living through that right now. Some changes are huge, some not so huge but I could only handle them in little steps. Sometimes it is harder to get the people around you to accept the changes than it is for you to make them.

In the past year I have done the following:

Realized I hated my job and found a new one which is a million times better in the same field (which I do love)
Started working out with a personal trainer because I hate the way I look.
Jumped back into the dating scene because I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life
Embarked on major renovations to make the condo I bought feel like home rather than a cookie-cutter apartment.
Adopted the dog I have always wanted

I like stability and don't have the guts to go with #3. I really admire those who do!

Good luck and let us know which path you choose-
DM
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: voodoopenguin
Date: March 29, 2006 12:25PM
Could another option be asking yourself why you think that 'almost every major life decison I've made has been the wrong one.' Are your expectations too high or maybe not the best direction anyway. Not knowing exactly what has gone so badly wrong in your life I realise that this option might be a non-option but maybe it's worth a little thought.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: Guitarman
Date: March 29, 2006 12:43PM
number 4 is the best oprtion if you're talking genuine mid life crises. However I would say start with anything legal, hopefully 18 or 19, add fast car and later booze.



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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: birdmanjeff
Date: March 29, 2006 12:59PM
I went through this at 28 after I got divorced. I actually tried 1, 3 and 4 (I did the older woman thing first, 10 years older, then the younger woman, 10 years younger) before I finally settled on #2 which actually has worked best over time. I consider my life a work in progress all the time and just remember everything I have done and seen has led me to be the person I am now. Bad decisions are not unique to you we all make them it is what we do after that defines your life. Do try 4 for a while though it is alot of fun as long as you know it is for a short time.

Good luck,

Birdmanjeff
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: mattkime
Date: March 29, 2006 01:06PM
I'm 27 and think about these options all the time.

Does that mean I'm having a pre-mid-life crisis?



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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: billb
Date: March 29, 2006 01:12PM
What good is a mid-life crisis if you can't use the excuse to do something "young and stupid " ? smiling smiley

Wisdom usually comes to those who get the young and stupid stuff behind them.

If you look back and know why for all the stupid decisions, you're all ready half-way there. Keep truckin'.

Spend too much time looking back and you're gonna bump into something.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: davester
Date: March 29, 2006 01:54PM
OK, I've got the red sports car (2 of them in fact). What's next?



"In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion." (1987) -- Carl Sagan
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: Paul F.
Date: March 29, 2006 02:23PM
<OK, I've got the red sports car (2 of them in fact). What's next?

Women under 23 (but over 18)... two of them in fact... grinning smiley








Never let it be said that I have a multi-track mind...








Paul F.
-----
A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
----
Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.

--

--

--
Eureka, CA
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: Guitarman
Date: March 29, 2006 03:20PM
immediately after getting separated from my wife, i had a 2 year fling with an 18 yo chick. It was some of the best times of my life. I highly recommend it.



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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: kap
Date: March 29, 2006 05:05PM
Could any of these options be used by married people? ;)

Kap



SoCal for now.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/29/2006 05:05PM by kap.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: Dennis S
Date: March 29, 2006 05:09PM
Think what you want in your obituary and work backwards from there.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: wowzer
Date: March 29, 2006 08:51PM
25 is a mid-life crisis? Does that mean us over the hill thirty something's are beyond mid-life?

More to the point, I read somewhere that every 10 years you ought to do something refreshing/different. For me that was picking up golf about 5-6 years ago.

I'm sure in another 5-6 years, I'll have to do something different...who knows what I'll chose.


As for women...you have to find a good one. There are a lot of bad ones out there. Find one that's 'low' maintenance...you'll be happier in the long run. Can't tell if you are separated/divorced from your post. If you are married to problem woman...good luck.

May the Force Be With You.



All I ever really needed to know, I learned from watching Star Trek.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: decocritter
Date: March 29, 2006 09:00PM
What age is "mid-life"?

What exactly is a "crisis"?

I know as many "bad" men as "bad" women - whatever that means.

What is a "problem" woman?



I admire those who are attempting change. It is so much easier to sit around a bitch.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: decocritter
Date: March 29, 2006 09:22PM
Oh - i did not know gman had been married.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: cbelt3
Date: March 29, 2006 10:17PM
I'm having mine, so i went and splurged on a cheapo G4 through LEMswap. Yep. I'm a wild and craazy guy.

Then again I'm damn close to a REAL mid-life - passed 45. 25 is NOT mid life unless you plan on dying young.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: Paul F.
Date: March 29, 2006 11:04PM
Uh, I read that as he's been thinking over the last 25 years... not that he's only racked up 25 years. Maybe prior to 1981 everything was going swell for him.






Paul F.
-----
A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca c. 5 BC - 65 AD
----
Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence.
Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.

--

--

--
Eureka, CA
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: kj
Date: March 30, 2006 01:03AM
I had one. I hope I don't have any more. I managed to avoid doing anything really stupid. Anyway, I bet you know what the right thing to do is, so do the best you can. It works out best in the long run. kj.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: TLB
Date: March 30, 2006 09:23AM
Thanks for the feedback.
BTW, I'm not 25 nor have I seen that age for a couple of decades.

Some of my "wrong" decisions, in retrospect:
Choice of college
Choice of major
First career
Personal relationships

I changed careers 8 years ago, I enjoy it more than my previous career, but I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Another major change would be difficult now because of age and the resultant economic setback.

I've gone back to school part-time, but it is strange. I am older than 99.9 percent of the students and 40% of the profs. I'd like to get my PhD, but I've been discouged because I don't have enough "productive years" left to make it worthwhile.

Any of course I have a family so I'm severely constrained in attacking either of these areas.

I'm not depressed, but it sure is discouraging. I really don't feel much different than my 20s, but it is sobering how life choices and options seem to just dry up.
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: PeterB
Date: March 30, 2006 11:58AM
TLB, a few comments:

1) "Wrong" decisions are only wrong if you let them be so. By definition, life is a learning experience; some things you may not be able to really learn anything from, but others can be instructive. Also remember that adversity builds character-- people who never struggle to get what they want rarely amount to much.

2) You are the sum of your experiences. These experiences can often be more valuable than any particular degree or formal education...




Freya says, 'Hello from NOLA, baby!' (Laissez bon temps rouler!)
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: davemchine
Date: March 30, 2006 12:51PM
I have two suggestions:

1) before making any changes spend some time talking to your wife. DON'T disrupt the family or you will be one of "those guys".

2) fall in love again. think about the things you used to do for your wife and do them again. send cards, send flowers, plan a weekend away. btw, this works even if the relationship is on the rocks.

Dave
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Re: Mid Life Crisis
Posted by: Guitarman
Date: March 30, 2006 12:57PM
TLB Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks for the feedback.
> BTW, I'm not 25 nor have I seen that age for a
> couple of decades.
>
> Some of my "wrong" decisions, in retrospect:
> Choice of college
> Choice of major
> First career
> Personal relationships
>
> I changed careers 8 years ago, I enjoy it more
> than my previous career, but I still don't know
> what I want to be when I grow up. Another major
> change would be difficult now because of age and
> the resultant economic setback.
>
> I've gone back to school part-time, but it is
> strange. I am older than 99.9 percent of the
> students and 40% of the profs. I'd like to get my
> PhD, but I've been discouged because I don't have
> enough "productive years" left to make it
> worthwhile.



Great idea for taking care of a large part of mid life crises, access to 18-21 yo hot young coeds. Just use the student union or study areas for "extra curricular activity" and shower in the gym before arriving home.


> Any of course I have a family so I'm severely
> constrained in attacking either of these areas.


Never stopped anyone else, see above.



> I'm not depressed, but it sure is discouraging. I
> really don't feel much different than my 20s, but
> it is sobering how life choices and options seem
> to just dry up.


Take prozac, and see above.



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