Mistresses of Tiger Woods March on Washington

Crowd Estimated at Over One Million

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In one of the largest mass demonstrations in recent history, over one million women claiming to have had sexual liaisons with Tiger Woods marched on Washington today.

Determined to show that they are a political force to be reckoned with, the coalition of nightclub hostesses, cocktail waitresses and lingerie models stopped traffic for hours as they marched to the Capitol.

Shandy Shanoyne, a 22-year-old thong publicist who had an on-again, off-again relationship with Mr. Woods, said that she organized the march to demand benefits, such as health care and workmen's compensation, for the golfer's many girlfriends.

More:

[www.borowitzreport.com]

This gentleman bragged about his sexual conquests.

I'm sure he put the money on the dresser before they left.

I remember figuring Wilt had to average 20 a day or something outrageous like that, and if he was sick one day, it had to be 40 the next day to catch up.

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Dennis S
I remember figuring Wilt had to average 20 a day or something outrageous like that, and if he was sick one day, it had to be 40 the next day to catch up.

Yeah, well, don't forget about the time he scored 100.
Oh, you thought that was just in a game?

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I am not Ryan Seacrest, and I do not approve this message.

and that guy is a comedian?

took him a week to come up with the "million woman march"?

not even funny, maybe a "heh" a best?

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Edited 999 time(s). Last edit at 12:08PM by jdc.

Is it odd that the thing that bugs me about the one affair they've got audio transcripts for involve him asking his girlfriend to get a private caller ID?

I mean, he's the one who's worried about it and it's not like he's short on cash... shouldn't he just get her a prepaid cell phone?

Seriously... Boost mobile: $50/month for unlimited calls and Internet. No contract. Private caller ID. What's so hard about that?

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Doc
Seriously... Boost mobile: $50/month for unlimited calls and Internet. No contract. Private caller ID. What's so hard about that?

stop promoting your company

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I am not Ryan Seacrest, and I do not approve this message.

He's just promoting the phone that he bought his own girlfriend.

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"Man is a little germ that lives on an unimportant rock ball that revolves about a small star at the outskirts of an ordinary galaxy. ... I am absolutely amazed to discover myself on this rock ball rotating around a spherical fire. It's a very odd situation. And the more I look at things I cannot get rid of the feeling that existence is quite weird. -- Alan Watts