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Borowitz - Tiger's worst nightmare
Posted by: Dennis S
Date: December 07, 2009 12:20PM
Mistresses of Tiger Woods March on Washington

Crowd Estimated at Over One Million

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In one of the largest mass demonstrations in recent history, over one million women claiming to have had sexual liaisons with Tiger Woods marched on Washington today.

Determined to show that they are a political force to be reckoned with, the coalition of nightclub hostesses, cocktail waitresses and lingerie models stopped traffic for hours as they marched to the Capitol.

Shandy Shanoyne, a 22-year-old thong publicist who had an on-again, off-again relationship with Mr. Woods, said that she organized the march to demand benefits, such as health care and workmen's compensation, for the golfer's many girlfriends.

More:

[www.borowitzreport.com]
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Re: Borowitz - Tiger's worst nightmare
Posted by: freeradical
Date: December 07, 2009 12:39PM
This gentleman bragged about his sexual conquests.


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Re: Borowitz - Tiger's worst nightmare
Posted by: vision63
Date: December 07, 2009 12:50PM
I'm sure he put the money on the dresser before they left.
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Re: Borowitz - Tiger's worst nightmare
Posted by: Dennis S
Date: December 07, 2009 12:53PM
I remember figuring Wilt had to average 20 a day or something outrageous like that, and if he was sick one day, it had to be 40 the next day to catch up.
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Re: Borowitz - Tiger's worst nightmare
Posted by: Seacrest
Date: December 07, 2009 01:02PM
Quote
Dennis S
I remember figuring Wilt had to average 20 a day or something outrageous like that, and if he was sick one day, it had to be 40 the next day to catch up.

Yeah, well, don't forget about the time he scored 100.
Oh, you thought that was just in a game?





I am not Ryan Seacrest, and I do not approve this message.
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Re: Borowitz - Tiger's worst nightmare
Posted by: jdc
Date: December 07, 2009 01:04PM
and that guy is a comedian?

took him a week to come up with the "million woman march"?

not even funny, maybe a "heh" a best?





Edited 999 time(s). Last edit at 12:08PM by jdc.
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Re: Borowitz - Tiger's worst nightmare
Posted by: Doc
Date: December 07, 2009 01:12PM
Is it odd that the thing that bugs me about the one affair they've got audio transcripts for involve him asking his girlfriend to get a private caller ID?

I mean, he's the one who's worried about it and it's not like he's short on cash... shouldn't he just get her a prepaid cell phone?

Seriously... Boost mobile: $50/month for unlimited calls and Internet. No contract. Private caller ID. What's so hard about that?
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Re: Borowitz - Tiger's worst nightmare
Posted by: Seacrest
Date: December 07, 2009 01:24PM
Quote
Doc
Seriously... Boost mobile: $50/month for unlimited calls and Internet. No contract. Private caller ID. What's so hard about that?

stop promoting your company winking smiley





I am not Ryan Seacrest, and I do not approve this message.
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Re: Borowitz - Tiger's worst nightmare
Posted by: davester
Date: December 07, 2009 03:09PM
He's just promoting the phone that he bought his own girlfriend.



"In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion." (1987) -- Carl Sagan
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