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Funny Joke
Posted by: Mactel
Date: December 22, 2005 11:31PM
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for this Saturday.
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Re: Funny Joke
Posted by: rgG
Date: December 22, 2005 11:34PM
I might just have to e-mail that to my mother in law.

Roswell, GA (Atlanta suburb)
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Re: Funny Joke
Posted by: wowzer
Date: December 22, 2005 11:37PM
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided
to send it to the President.

The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the
little boy a $5.00 bill.

The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a
thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed
that for some reason you sent it through

Washington, DC., and those @#$%&holes deducted $95.00 in taxes.

All I ever really needed to know, I learned from watching Star Trek.
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Re: Funny Joke
Anonymous User
Date: December 22, 2005 11:49PM
Blind Man telling a blond joke. From Channel 933 in SanDiego

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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Re: Funny Joke
Posted by: Mike Sellers
Date: December 23, 2005 10:13AM
A priest, a rabbi and an Irishman walk into a bar.

Bartender says "What is this, a joke?"
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Re: Funny Joke
Posted by: bangman
Date: December 23, 2005 10:31AM
Nice to all of them. I ain't got no jokes today. Sorry.

3GHz - The clock is STILL ticking Steve.
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Re: Funny Joke
Posted by: Randalls
Date: December 23, 2005 11:15AM
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?

They're making headlines!

"Outside of a dog a book is man's best friend....
...inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
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Re: Funny Joke
Posted by: Donkey Hotay
Date: December 23, 2005 02:10PM

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York a week before Christmas and
says, "I hate to ruin your holiday season, but I have to tell you that
your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call
your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck
they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls
Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting
divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my
brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a
thing, DO YOU HE! AR ME?" and hangs up."

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay" he says,
"they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."

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Re: Funny Joke
Posted by: GeneL
Date: December 23, 2005 06:36PM
Thanks for the laughs!
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